I’ve got a lot to share with you. First, however, I need to rest up a bit and do laundry and I really wish that was the order of things. Sadly, laundry comes first even though I am of somewhat mixed emotions about washing the dirt/dust from various holy caves and such out of one particular pair of pants. I’ve also got to download the boatload of photos and such from the phone. Tomorrow, I will be spending the day with my friends at the German Monastery of St. John of Rila. Start looking for new content on Monday and don’t be surprised if things jump around a bit despite my desire to take things in order. More soon my friends!
Category: Theology & Philosophy
Pilgrimage: Mt. Athos
If all goes well, we leave in a couple of hours. Still dealing with issues but I’m told things are good. More when I can.
Pilgrimage: Veria (Veroia)
Yesterday, we left Thessaloniki and headed towards Veria (Veroia in Greek). On the way, we stopped and spent the morning at a monastery where I was given the chance to venerate three different relics and a miraculous icon. Then, we sat under what I think may be a local oak tree and had a good conversation with one of the nuns there.
Then, we went and checked into our hotel, is within the ancient Jewish quarter (up until WWII) . Next door to the hotel is a museum that was the synagogue. Current building is less than a thousand years old, but it was built on the site of the original, which is one of the spots where the Apostle Paul preached when he was here.
Then we went to visit another monastery that is in the process of being rebuilt. Long story for later, but had an amazing visit which ended not only that I was welcome anytime, but that the abbot suggested I should look at coming back for an extended stay. Lots to process but thinking that is a very good idea. Also, was allowed to venerate a relic of the Apostle Paul while there.
More soon once I have WiFi again.

Pilgrimage: Thessaloniki Day 2
There will be a much longer post at some point, but getting this up while I have WiFi. Leave this morning for a visit a friend recommended, the same friend who arranged the guide/mentor I’m now enjoying. He took me to some amazing places yesterday, several monasteries and churches I would not have found without him. We did not walk the entire perimeter of the ancient walls, but we hit major points on each.
The very first place we went was on one of the highest points in the city. The church in the monastery there has what is now a chapel, but is believed to be one of the earliest churches in Thessaloniki. One where the Apostle Paul preached. And that was just the start of the day. More to come.

Pilgrimage: Arrived Thessaloniki
I arrived yesterday about one in the afternoon via bus. The difference between bus travel in the US and here is amazing. Even with a child getting motion sickness behind me, a much better experience. Slight delay at the border, but wasn’t because of me so it will wait for the full report.
The Greeks don’t seem to mind if you photograph, so have a couple to share. As it happened, the prime Church on my list was just a mile from the hotel, so walked there and got to “meet” St. Gregory Palamas. At another Church got to “meet” St. Basil the Confessor; and the Saints Sophia, Faith, Hope, and Love — who have become a large part of this trip.




more soon. Lots more photos and tales to share in the days ahead.
Pilgrimage: Rila
Late last week, I wasn’t nudged or guided nearly as much as I was told that I needed to go to Rila and the Monastery of St. John of Rila (St. Ivan Rilski) on Saturday. In fact, it was rather emphatic. So, I found a tour that would take me there that offered two things I needed: to do my own thing for an extended time at the monastery, and to visit the cave where St. John lived and died.
A bit of background for you. St. John was a hermit who for a time lived outside of modern Sofia in a hut, said hut being in the area referred to as the mini-holy mountain. In what I suspect was his dismay, his piety and prayers became highly regarded and people began seeking him out. This eventually included people like the Tsar, who wanted to meet him. Agents of any crown are not necessarily noted for subtlety or taking no for an answer, so he literally had to evade them. In turn, this fueled his decision to flee to the area outside of Rila, where he hoped to regain his solitude. Eventually, those who wanted to be his students found him, built a small church in front of his cave, and shielded him from most visitors. Eventually, a full monastery was established nearby. There’s a lot more and it is worth your time to read up on him as this really doesn’t do him or his story justice.

Now, St. John of Rila has an icon in our Church, but it is in some ways secondary to some other saints. He is also not one of those saints who speaks to me, at least not in a way I recognize as such. That said, I did ask him more than once to guide me on this pilgrimage, particularly on my journey to his monastery and to visit him. I do think I got what I asked for.

After a stop at a museum here in Sofia, we started the hour-plus (two hour?) journey to Rila. I was prepared, but I will say that when the tour guide emphasizes several times that bathrooms will be limited on a trip you should pay attention.

When you first leave the valley and start into the foothills, some of the terrain reminds me very much of NE Georgia. So much so it actually makes me a bit homesick for it. Then you get just a bit further, and I am far more reminded of the Rockies. From what (little) I have seen of it so far, Bulgaria is a beautiful country and I would love to explore it further.

Now, I have heard it said that the insides of Orthodox churches are effectively graphic novels of the life of Christ. In this case, these photos are all of the exterior of the church at the center of the complex. The fresco’s are amazing, and you get not only the life of Christ, but also a bit of the Old Testament precursor stories. You can spend an hour or two just looking at these details.

I want to share these with you because I did not take photos inside the church. They ask you not to, but even though you can get some of the gorgeous interior from outside, it just isn’t right to share such in my opinion. Especially given what was to come.

Inside, I did my usual of lighting candles, as I pray for several members of our Church everywhere I go. I also pray for guidance for me on this pilgrimage and my spiritual journey. On this trip, some additional things happened that I did not plan or anticipate.

I won’t go into all the details, but I was given the opportunity to venerate relics of St. John of Rila directly. They are kept in a small casket that was opened by a priest so a few of us could venerate them.

After that, I was blessed by the priest and had the opportunity to take a cotton applicator that had been blessed while on the relics. This will go home to my priest so it can be used to anoint members of my Church.

A few minutes after that, I was anointed by that same priest. None of this was planned. It was not something expected or that I had asked to have happen. However, even as dense as I am, I figured out this was part of the reason I had been told to get there. Some more time was spent in prayer, then it was time to return to the bus so that those of us who had opted to go up to the cave could do so.

Now, the photo above does not give you a good idea of how steep, long, and narrow (and rough) the path up to the cave is. In fact, it makes it look rather sedate and easy, with the shadows suggesting steps that are not there. Of course, just after our guide told us to be careful and I passed that sign, I managed to fall flat on my face.

St. John’s cave.
This is something the physical therapist worked with me on last summer, when I finally got the physical therapy I should have had four years earlier. A lot of what is going on is reminding the brain that it has done this before, and can do it again. I used to run up and down hills that were as steep or steeper for years. The more I did, the more the brain began to remember. It was not pleasant in some respects, as my balance is no where near what it used to be. I also thought I was going to get in trouble, as it was up the trail a ways that I admitted to the guide that I had been hit by lightning. Some people apparently seem to think you should mention that when the tour booking and then the tour guide ask about medical conditions. Huh. Go figure.

Not sure if she was resigned about things at that point, or just a good sport, but I wasn’t in trouble. I did, however, have a nice young Italian couple from the tour stay with me and make sure I got up and down the hill without falling off. That, too, seems to becoming a theme for this trip, nice young couples being very nice to the old man. I am not old, I am still a teenager (in my mind).. Quit laughing. The tour guide got this shot of me coming out the upper exit of the cave, called the narrow way. Supposedly, only the pure may pass through and/or all sins are scraped off. It is interesting, as at one point your legs are sorta hanging out in space inside the cave while you pull yourself through a very tight opening.

For me, the problem wasn’t my gut, but my shoulders. The only way to get out was to put one arm and shoulder out, while reaching for my toes with the other arm. Once I got far enough, a partial roll and a twist let me work the other shoulder then arm out. The photo earlier was taken just after I had gotten my feet under me. And, yes, I did wear my fedora through the cave along with my Scott-E-Vest. And, yes, you also have to do some ducking, twisting, and almost crawling getting in as well.
As I said earlier, still processing what happened in the monastery church. This trip has brought several such moments already, but that one really hit home for me. In some ways I’ve got even more questions than before; but, I am also more sure I will be guided to that which is right.
Onwards.
If you would like to help me with this trip, seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.
Pilgrimage: Quick SITREP
Sorry, didn’t mean to go dark this long, but things went in some very unexpected and wonderful ways. This will be a quick overview, and more detailed posts on food, wine, rakia, and other topics are on the way.
Friday, in addition to needing to do some shopping, I had my second Bulgarian cooking lesson. Am going to be doing detailed reports on both, and will highly recommend both to anyone coming to Sofia. It turns out both of the ladies who did the courses are Orthodox, and both have provided some very interesting introductions. The nice young lady on Friday said a relative of her mother’s was at a monastery here on the outskirts of Sofia, and asked if I would like to visit? Of course, and it turns out he’s the Abbot. More on this is just a bit.
After a very late night (the young lady, her boyfriend, and I ended up talking space, science, and more until quite late), I got up early and caught a tour bus to Rila to visit the monastery of St. John of Rila (St. Ivan Rilski). The tour was primarily for a group of Italian tourists, though about four Spaniards and myself helped round things out a bit. I remembered more Italian from when I was 12 than I thought I did, and thankfully the tour guide (fantastic lady) also shared key things in English. At the monastery, I — very unexpectedly — had the opportunity to venerate the relics of St. John, was blessed, and then anointed. Then, I made the climb up a mountain to the cave where he lived (and died) and even made it out through the “narrow way” that only the pure can pass/scrapes off all sins (and some skin if not careful). I only fell once on the climb, right at the start, and had a wonderful young Italian couple keep an eye on me the rest of the journey. No, my balance has not been good since the lightning strike.
As we were on the way back to Sofia, got a message from the Friday cooking lesson lady, who had talked to her relative. He didn’t speak English, others did, come on out to visit was the basic message. So, Sunday morning bright and early, I got a taxi and went to what I thought was the right location. It wasn’t. My fault. Took a while to get another taxi, but did eventually get to the right location and had an amazing visit at the German Monastery of St. John of Rila. Are you catching a theme here? After the service, I was invited to join the members for a meal, and had a great time. I was also told that since I had stayed in Bulgaria more than a week already, I was not allowed to leave but had to stay. One gentleman even offered to give me the number for his real estate person so I could buy an apartment. Given what I’ve seen on anti-social media in the aftermath of the latest assassination attempt, I’m thinking St. John had a good idea and am wondering what a gently used cave might run…
Yesterday, I finished up all the coursework for my theology course. All that is left is the final, and given how the midterm went (I passed, but not like I should have given all) I am not looking forward to it. I don’t see myself being able to do regular schooling again. Doing remote learning works a lot better, but even that has been a challenge. We will see what happens.
This morning, while working on this, got contacted on WhatsApp by some of the people I met Sunday. Short version is that they are making arrangements to pick me up for Church this Sunday.
So, it has been busy and a bit overwhelming. There are still elements of Saturday that I’m processing. I did the tour just to get down there, and because I could in effect leave the tour and do my own thing (mostly prayer) while there. I had no expectation of anything more, though I had asked St. John to guide my visit to him and his monastery before I left the U.S. Never expected it would be literally to him. Then to find out my Sunday service was at the German Monastery of St. John of Rila (had just heard/been told it was the German monastery, named for the nearby town of German) and built at/on the site of St. John’s hut where he lived before fleeing to Rila to escape the constant visits/people.
That’s the quick version, more detailed posts are on the way later today and tomorrow. Sorry to be dark so long, but it has been very interesting and almost completely in good ways. I’m exhausted, but happy. In fact, that’s probably a bit of an understatement. Need to do some housecleaning, get caught up a bit, but will get caught up here as quickly as I can!
If you would like to help me with this trip, seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.
Pilgrimage: Basilica of Saint Sophia

I just realized I never did get this posted the other day, so, time to make up for lost time. The basilica may well be the oldest church in what is now Sofia, in that the original church was built pretty much when Christianity became legal.
Then, Sofia was a Roman town known as Serdika (Serdica according to some), and it was a town without a founding mythos: it simply was regarded as having always been there. The Romans made it their hub in the region because of the hot springs that were used for the baths. If I haven’t already posted such, I will post a picture or three of some of the many Roman ruins here. In the heart of the old city, I don’t think you can dig down more than ten feet without hitting Roman ruins.

The original “basilica” was a simple, small, church built over the site of the necropolis (city of the dead, aka the town cemetery). Later, a larger church was built on the same site, and finally the current basilica was built. You can still see portions of the walls of the original church and the second under the current church.

And, yes, I said under. Extensive archeological excavations and preservation were carried out starting in the early 1900s and today you can go into the basement, pay a fee, and tour the tombs and other things unearthed in the process. Being a history geek, I found it well worth doing and probably spent an hour (or more) happily going along the walkways and paths. The signage is quite good, and the English portion is very well done.

You can see down into parts of the excavations from the floor of the current basilica. It was also quite neat to look up from down below and watch what was going on upstairs as well. For anyone interested, I paid the fee to be able to take photos, worth it.

The current basilica was only reconsecrated and made a working church again fairly recently. At least in archeological terms. Sadly, pretty much all the original decoration is long gone but what is left is beautiful in it’s own way. To me at least.
For those not familiar with Saint Sophia, it really is the Basilica of Saints Sophia, Faith (12), Hope (10), and Love (9) as the latter three were the young daughters of Saint Sophia, who was a widow. During the reign of Hadrian, they all openly lived and professed their faith during a time of grave persecution. They were denounced directly to the emperor by a (minor) official, and the emperor had them brought to Rome to stand before him.
He tried individually to get each girl to renounce their faith (no go), then brought them together as a family to try. Again, they refused. So, Hadrian did the worst thing he could think of to try and get them to renounce Christ: he had the girls tortured in front of their mother, who was made to watch their sufferings as they were burned on grates, hit or dunked into boiling tar, etc. The youngest girl, Love, was bound to a wheel and beaten. I don’t recommend looking up what those tortures, especially the wheel, actually entailed unless you have a strong stomach. Eventually, all three girls were beheaded in front of their mother.
During all of it, none of them renounced their faith. It’s one of the reasons they beheaded the girls, and tradition says they willingly bent their necks to the swords. Again, Hadrian thought the worst thing he could do would be to send Sophia out with the bodies of her girls, so she got a cart and caskets, and took them out beyond the walls of the city and buried them on a hillside with honor. Then, she sat down beside their graves and three days later died. Local Christians then buried her beside her children. Their relics are currently housed in a Roman Catholic church.
There is a huge statue of “Sophia” here in Sofia, and while I have a photo of it I choose not to share it. Frankly, the statue is pagan at best, and poorly done on several levels in my opinion. It looks more like a witch-queen with her in black (white is the gown of a martyr), and an owl on her arm to help emphasize that Sophia is supposed to have great wisdom. The local Christian community raised a stink about the statue, but nothing was done. The reason why is why I might should be more careful with my words here, as it turns out the mayor’s wife was apparently the model for the face of the statue, and the mayor is the one who said that even though most don’t like it, it stays as is. Smile. Some aspects of politics are universal.
If you would like to help me with this trip, seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.
Pilgrimage: Saintly Monday
Yesterday was a chance to visit some Saints and get to a new church in the process. I also had to take care of a few things before I left, so by my standards I got off to a late start.
Before I dive into the day, I want to explain a few things for new readers, especially those not of traditional Christianity. I’ve found that for all a number of Protestant churches are named after saints (Saint James, Saint George, Saint Joseph, etc.) it almost seems as if it is a lip service. I know from my own upbringing in the Methodist church that it seems like saints are almost an afterthought, both in concept of how one becomes a saint and why they are important.
The fact is, saints are role models for Christians in terms of how to live one’s life — and to die for Christianity if need be. Every Christian is called by scripture and tradition to live as saints-in-training and to strive to live such a life as fully and completely as we can.
A very common misconception is that saints were born saints and lived as saints from infancy. That is not the case for many if not most, as anyone who has looked at the life of Saint Paul (Saul), Saint Moses the Black, the original Saint George, and a host of others. They led rather unsaintly lives up until the time they met and accepted Christ. For some, even then, it was a struggle. I strongly suspect that for many of us it was, is, or will be a struggle as the evil one really doesn’t like to see you go, much less let you go without a fight.
In many respects, that fight, that charge to live a Christian life despite the temptations of the world and the evil one is the truly important part. They stand as beacons, challenges even, that if they can do it, you can do it too. You see a pale (and debased IMO) imitation of this in the way society looks at major sport or entertainment figures. For Christians, the saints are the ‘rock stars’ who’s poster is on the wall to inspire you. Forgive me that analogy, but it is apt for most of society.
Contrary to any ignorant or malicious charges, we don’t worship the saints. They are not God. However, they are the only people we know for sure are with God in Heaven given that Judgement Day has not yet taken place (at least in terms of Chronos, the time of the world). What we do is ask them to pray for us and to intercede on our behalf with God since they are there and by their lives and actions they have the boldness to do so.
There is a lot more I could say right now; but, those things really are a topic for another day. Books have been written on the subject, but the above lays the groundwork for how I spent my day yesterday. The only other thing I will add right now is that for many people, a relationship develops with one or more saints. Traditional Christians believe that there is real communication (again, topic for another day or post) though it isn’t like picking up a telephone.
For me, one of the first saints I “met” when I joined the Orthodox Church was Saint Xenia of Petersburg. An icon of her hangs in our church and something about it spoke to me, and I inquired of my Godfather (a priest) about her (and ended up getting homework, a not unusual occurrence). The more I’ve learned, the more I’ve come to appreciate and respect her and her life. She chose one of the hardest paths in life, which is to be a Fool for Christ. Again, topic for another day, but I want to note strongly that those on that path accept training before embarking upon it.
Back on track, I talk to her. I share things with her, and ask her pretty much every day for her prayers and intercessions with God. The rest is personal, though I will say I can usually tell if I’ve messed up and gone astray. She was known to have a sharp tongue on occasion in life, and I don’t think that has changed.
Thing is, most interactions are personal though some saints seem to have a larger presence than others. It’s hard to describe, but more people recognize that saintliness and power, and less personal connection seems to be needed at the start. Thing is, once you ask them to pray for you and to intercede with God on a problem or issue and you get a result, you can face a choice. For some people, it’s a one and done thing. For others, it is the start of something more.

Yesterday, I started my day by visiting Saint Seraphim of Sofia. I delivered letters requesting prayers and intercessions that were sent with me, including my own. Even before I arrived here, I had heard a number of stories about those asking for his prayers and intercession on problems. I’ve heard even more since landing, and there is a steady stream of people coming in to either deliver letters or write them on the spot.
I won’t go into too many details, but I asked for prayers and intercessions on behalf of a number of people, and one request I will share is that I asked for his help with my seminary course and any future studies. He is reported to have a soft spot for students given some of his own academic trials and tribulations, and quite a few students visit him to ask for help. Again, they are not asking him to do magic; but, to pray for and intercede with God on their behalf. Sometimes such things do result in miracles. I believe in them, as I’m sorta living one.
Without saying too much, it was a very moving experience. If you are in Sofia, whether you are of the Christian faith or not, take the time to visit, be respectful, and be open. I don’t think you will regret it.

My next stop was at Saint George’s Church. It is the oldest surviving structure in Sofia (Serdika) being built in Roman times (200s best guess) and surrounded by Roman ruins. It is also surrounded by the Presidential Palace, administrative buildings, and a high-end hotel. It is a little surreal walking past the ceremonial guard for the President/Presidential Palace and through a car tunnel to get to the central courtyard with the Church and ruins. There is more security than meets the eye, but I dare you to try that in DC.

It most likely was not built originally as a Church. Some theorize it was first build as part of the Roman baths. Others hold it was originally built as a baptistry. Side note: Baptisms were not originally performed in the Church. Running water, as in a river, was common but what emerged was a separate building called a baptistry where baptisms were performed. Another side note: baptisms were done in the nude, as that is how John the Baptist did it and how it was done to the Lord. Naked you come into the world. Naked you wash off the world and come into the world of Christ. Glad that’s changed as no one needs the mental trauma of seeing me naked.
It is a very rare round church, and it is impressive in it’s simplicity. I very much would like to attend a service there, plan to work on that. You can still see parts of the original interior inside. Once it was understood I was Orthodox (lots of tourists, not all of whom show respect alas) I spent time there in prayer and then lit candles with prayers. Yes, I’m doing a lot of that as it is what this trip is about.

I also spent some time at the grave of the Bulgarian Saint George. Named for the original Saint George (and former Roman soldier), he is remembered as a handsome youth who was beloved of the people. He was also an open Christian under the rule of the Ottoman Turks, who wanted him to convert to Islam. As always, that means convert or die.
Here, the accounts vary but all agree on one thing: when blandishments failed, they went (as usual) to torture. All accounts seem to agree they were rather severe though specifics vary. All agree he was tossed alive into a fire and burned/cooked to death. I say cooked as that was often done by the Ottoman Turks even into the 1800s. Look up the account of the Greek revolutionary who was tortured (apparently including some flaying), impaled, and then cooked over a slow fire with the impalement rod used as a spit. Charming people.
The grave to his right is believed to be that of his mother. According to several histories, she was dead before his martyrdom; but, according to local beliefs she was brought in by the Turks to try to get him to agree to convert. Instead, she is reported to have said, in essence, don’t you dare and so was tortured to death alongside him.
Afterwards, I had to do a little bit of shopping. The apartment is wonderful, but for my cooking I need a bit more than the typical tourist. I also had some things I thought would be handy to have so set out to get them. One was an umbrella as today and tomorrow are supposed to be cold and rainy. And I mean cold as down into the 30s overnight. May not sleep with the windows open tonight. I was very disappointed that the gentleman selling fuzzy slippers wasn’t open yesterday.

I went back to the store where I got my storage containers the other day and got a container to hold my spices. Instead of jars, spices are mostly sold in pouches, and I wanted something to hold them. The first pouch you see is the unofficial official spice blend of Bulgaria and used with everything. The rest are in alphabetical order. Yes, I am somewhat compulsive and yes anal-retentive is indeed hyphenated.

I also picked up a bathrobe, though it is more than I wanted. Both in price and style. Came close to giving an unintentional show the other day, and decided to splurge. I turned down one that was hooded and trimmed in gold as I could hear my friend Sergei giving me heck and yes I would have looked like a pimp in it. Heck, I should just go full Slav and wear track suits if I had gotten it. By the way, Sergei confirmed he would have given me unending grief had I gotten it. And, yes, I did indeed see someone wear their formal track suit to the service at the Cathedral on Sunday. Sigh.
Also, one of my new local friends has given me some cheerful grief over having not one, but two Billa bags. Billa is a chain store and having bags from them has earned me the equivalent of redneck status. Or at least thorough assimilation. A former defense minister here is still mocked in memes for showing up in Washington carrying a Billa bag as he came down the steps from his plane to meet the diplomats greeting him.
I’m working today on coursework and resting up a bit. To be honest, I dehydrated rather badly last week. When traveling, I like to stay right on the line as getting to restrooms between flights can be a challenge, and airplane toilets are best avoided. I then pushed out here and tried to keep riding the line as you can’t always find a restroom when you need it. Or, it takes some time to find where they are and gain access. Thanks to a very kind waitress I now have the code to one near several of the churches I am at on a regular basis.
Saturday I pushed it, and that wasn’t bright. I had been putting off taking one prescription as taking it while dehydrated is, to be polite, highly contraindicated. Worked on getting rehydrated Sunday afternoon, pushed it a bit again yesterday; and, today took the pill and have been pushing fluids as it really went to town.
Besides, it is what the Scot’s would call “a wee gra da” as in a small gray day. Raining and cold, going to get colder, and I have a warm and dry apartment. I’m getting this done, working on classwork, and not pushing anything. May do the same tomorrow as I need to get to work on some of the other portions of this trip. I am likely to be revising some of my plans on the fly, as opportunities arise. All to the good, but feel free to hit the tip jar.
Over on X I’ve shared a bit more on cooking. This morning’s breakfast of sausage (definitely not American breakfast sausage), fresh mushrooms, eggs, and cheese) was quite tasty. Looking forward to hitting the Women’s market again later this week to pick up local made cheese, yogurt, eggs, fresh milk, and more. And fuzzy slippers. I am definitely going to get fuzzy slippers. Life demands them.
More soon!
If you would like to help me with this trip, seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.
Why Discernment?
Originally, the reason for the upcoming pilgrimage was for spiritual development. By Orthodox standards, I am still very new to Orthodoxy. I started attending about three years ago, and have only formally been a member for a couple of years I think. On top of my memory playing tricks on me from the lightning strike, there are days like I feel that I’ve always been a part of this Church — and it feels good and reassuring that others also feel like I’ve been a part of it for far longer than I have.
That said, I want to draw further into faith, to explore deeper realms if you will. That’s also a reason I have begun taking courses at the seminary and am contemplating possibly going full time at some point if this current experiment proves I can handle the load (stupid lightning).
Then, something happened last year that was very unexpected. I won’t go into details, yet; but, I was asked if I would consider stepping up a bit more. I knew I wanted to do a bit more; but, this would be a BIT more.
Back when I was Catholic, I explored the possibility of the priesthood. I felt pulled in that direction in some ways. However, the diocese said I was too old. To be honest, I was a bit relieved as I am not sure I could have been the priest I would want/need to be in the current Roman Catholic Church.
Then came Orthodoxy and while I am theologically much more comfortable I’ve also had the chance to do a lot of thinking and prayer. Of late, I’ve been working through some things for myself, and thought I might share some thoughts on discernment with you. In this way, I lay out some of the issues I’ve been working through for both my own contemplation and for yours. Especially given a few interesting (and in once case ignorant) comment I caught over at Instapundit.
First, I am quite comfortable not knowing precisely where the path I’m on may lead. Contrary to chest thumpers and others, many people exploring the path of discernment are not positive of where they are headed. They may have a good idea, but a person truly on the path knows that the Lord will put them where they should be and are content to leave such up to him. They also are, usually, smart enough not to challenge the Lord.
There are two statements one should never make in real, guided discernment. The first is “I could never be or do X” and the second is along the lines of ‘The Lord would never do X or make me do X.’ Frankly, I view both statements as being akin to saying during a disaster ‘what else can go wrong.’ If you are foolish enough to utter these, you are quite likely to hear from on high words to the effect of “oh really?!?” and your life is going to get VERY interesting.
The thing is, the path I think I am on and for which I have been getting guidance, can have several outcomes. Let me run through some of them very quickly.
First up, the Priesthood. On many levels, this has come to terrify me. I’ve been pushed to become a preacher or priest since high school. I somehow new being a Methodist preacher was not right for me right at the start, and the same held true for the Episcopal Church when I joined it when I was a junior in high school. On some levels, I was quite relieved when when I became Catholic and the diocese said ‘too old’ as I knew that was not the right path for the right reasons on some level.
Being a Priest is an enormous responsibility. It’s not just that you have to have wisdom even more than knowledge; rather, it’s that you have to have empathy, compassion, understanding, patience, and many other positive aspects. You are fully responsible for the souls of others, and if you are not doing it for the right reasons and at the right time, you can not only mess them up but damn your own soul in the process.. You have to be doing it for the right reasons, at the right time, and in the right way for their sake as well as yours.
Me, I’m living proof that God can work with and forgive anyone. There is no sin we can commit that God can’t forgive if we truly repent. That said, to approach the Priesthood requires us to be doing the right thing, in the right way, and at the right time — or else. I’m very much afraid not only of doing something wrong; but, that my own flaws would prevent me from being what I need to be. I’m fully prepared to face judgement for my own mistakes. That I may have in the past, or in the future, lead others astray or simply not lead properly to their detriment is more terrifying than anything I have ever done.
A second outcome of the path I think I am on is the Deaconate. Deacons and Sub-Deacons are the backbone of a traditional Church. While their role is diminished in some respects in comparison to the Priesthood (a discussion for another day), they are an integral part of the Liturgy and the life of the Church. For all that they bear a lot of responsibility, they also don’t have the same crushing responsibilities as the Priesthood. Close, but not the same. And while they do have pastoral duties, they are not on the same level as that of the Priest.
A third possible outcome is monastic life. I really should do a fuller discussion one day soon; but, while monastics need a fair bit of knowledge, they do not have to be priests or even deacons as they have a very different role. I have a good friend who is preparing to commit to monastic life in the next few years. It is the right thing for him, I think; but, my health and other considerations seem to preclude monastic life as a consideration for me.
A fourth possible outcome is really two that I will lump together. There are some academic and administrative roles in the Church that require a great deal of knowledge and coursework and/or degrees or certificates from seminaries. I can see either role as a possibility for all that I have come to despise various aspects of politics — which would be part and parcel of such positions and work.
Now, I think I know where I am headed. That said, the path of discernment is not a path of our desires or our will. Anyone who says you should know your desire and push towards it is not to be trusted on anything. The path of discernment requires you to lay aside your desires, your goals, and your will and submit fully and completely to the Lord and his will.
It is entirely possible that the Lord may have something else entirely in mind for me than what I have outlined above. For all that I think I know where I am headed, that may not be his Will. Part of what I hope to gain from this upcoming pilgrimage is to better understand his Will for my path. I don’t expect final answers; rather, I do expect to have clearer guidance on both my personal spiritual journey and as to the path I think I am on. That path may be the real path, or I may be shown a different path or a different route or branch to the one I think I am following.
Thing is, I want to open myself up to the possibilities, to the guidance, and a better discernment of his Will rather than my own. My own will tends towards lazy and comfortable. Let’s say that I have a strong suspicion that comfortable and lazy are not the ways of the Lord. Coasting and letting by to get by were not his ways during his Incarnation and I doubt that has changed. In fact, I know it has not.
So, I will cast myself upon the waters. My goal is to learn more about my Faith and my Church; to deepen my Faith and practice through that; and, to see where I may (or may not) be pointed or guided in the process. While the practicalities are exciting (and fun even), the spiritual aspects are a bit scary and daunting. Especially as I am offering myself up to the Lord to do with as he will.
We will see what happens. I will be sharing the normal, the fun, and as much of the journey itself as I can. Where I can, I hope to share more, including insights. Stay tuned, more is to come.
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If you would like to help me with this trip, seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.