Category: Food

Kapustnica

This last Sunday, we celebrated the feast day of the saint for whom our Church is named: Joy of All Who Sorrow. This is, of course, the Theotokos, known to many in the West as Mary the Mother of God. Being a feast day and not during a fasting period, it means there was a lot of good food at our “coffee” after the service.

While it is called a coffee (and there is some excellent coffee to be had as one of our members has a relative who owns a coffee roasting business), it usually is something of meal. That is because we generally fast from all food and drink (even water) starting no later than midnight Saturday night before partaking of the Eucharist. Some even do longer periods. Technically I’m exempt because of health and now age, but other than enough water to go with the medicines and such I have to take (and I take them about 0300 so that at least six hours have passed before service begins) I do my best to keep the fast.

Since becoming a Chanter, I haven’t been able to cook or do as much with food as I would like to do. There were also some issues that came up with kitchen access where I rent, but those are getting resolved (and I’m developing alternatives). For this day, however, I really wanted to do something nice. So, I had seen a recipe for an Eastern European soup that sounded good, and would be a good (close enough) ethnic fit. That soup is called Kapustnica.

The picture above really doesn’t do it justice, especially since my version really was more a stew than a soup. It is technically a sauerkraut soup; but, reality is that is a bunch of sausage and smoked meats cooked with some sauerkraut, mushrooms, and onions. With good sauerkraut, it is also extremely tasty. Here’s what I did:

To start, I diced a huge white onion medium fine (not coarse, not fine, in between), and sliced three large cloves of garlic as thin as I could. The onion, garlic, and three fresh bay leaves (use dried if you can’t get fresh) then were cooked/sauteed until tender (clear) in a mixture of lard and bacon drippings (a few T, didn’t really measure it). Three tablespoons of sweet smoked paprika were then added and the mixture cooked until the paprika turns dark and roasted.

As I was cooking the onion, I prepared my crockpot. Into the bottom I put the sauerkraut (I used a jar of Polish sauerkraut with some carrot included, mild and good) and a bag of dried mushrooms that I had rehydrated using white wine for a couple of days before use. In this case, I used a white wine from Romania as it both fit the spirit of the recipe and the deli where I got the meats and sauerkraut had it at a decent price. My own take is that a slightly sweet, not dry wine, is best. This one really worked well.

The onion/garlic mixture then went on top of the mushrooms and kraut. On top of that, I chopped up a couple of different types of Eastern European sausage (I picked two that looked good from the meat case), pretty much a whole smoked pork loin, and a small chunk of smoked cured beef. The beef is the only thing I would do differently, as the cure made it hard and it still wasn’t quite tender even after cooking. To be honest, at the meat case, I had just pointed and said: one of those, one of those, one of those, one of those… I went with what looked good.

Since I had drained the kraut (not much draining was needed to be honest), I put in some bone broth and some vegetable broth as liquid to get the cooking underway. I didn’t fill to the top as I had to transport the crockpot to Church, and a full pot will spill. Kept it roughly a couple of inches from the top, but was more than enough to cook the mixture.

It did cook faster than I expected, even on low in the crockpot. Figure about four hours as good. I ended up cutting it off a bit after seven when I went to bed, and around midnight it had finally cooled enough to go into the refrigerator. Once I had it at the Church, I plugged it back in, set it to low, added the water (and took the picture) and then let it go. Some wonderful people got it to the serving table for me, and I did make it to the kitchen in time to get the sour cream out of the refrigerator so people could add a dollop to top the bowls of soup if they wanted.

I will note that it is a rich soup/stew, and adding the sour cream is tasty but may be gilding the lily a bit. It was a hit, and I have very little cleaning to do of the crockpot. I also picked up a box of Russian chocolates to go with the other sweets. Someone did some meatballs, there was homemade fried chicken, and someone did some very nice cabbage rolls as well. Lots of other food, but tried to stay mostly keto.

So, Kapustnica is fairly quick and easy to do (couple of hours on the stove top in a big pot), and is also quite tasty and filling. If you don’t have a good Eastern European deli nearby, use some good smoked sausage (without corn syrup, Meijer brand here is good for that) and whatever other smoked meat you can find nearby. Or, heck, smoke some of your own on the grill or in a smoker and use that. I will simply say that the better the kraut, the better the soup/stew. Don’t have dried mushrooms, use fresh. Thing is, have fun and enjoy.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, and to start a truly new life, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. If you want to know some of what it is going for, read here. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

A Good Day

I caught a Lyft ride up to the Carmel farmer’s market this morning to get my chef’s knives sharpened. There is a professional knife sharpener (two actually most days) who can sharpen my good knives without voiding my warranty. They even give me the industry rate, which is good because it usually is seven or so knives.

Bacon on a stick, about a quarter inch thick or better

While I waited, I shopped as there are several vendors there I like. I did eat a bit as well, as seen with the deep-fried (I think) bacon-on-a-stick above. There’s a local charcuterie place that honestly is as good as some I’ve had in Europe; a farm that has amazing eggs and good meats; lots of other meat, veggie, and even mushroom vendors; lots of ethnic food; and even a local mead maker is there.

I tried to be good, but did come away with eggs, meat, a huge thing of fresh basil (plan to make pesto Monday or Tuesday for freezing), fresh garlic, local goat cheese, and a few other delights. I also had good coffee and enjoyed an arepa filled with shredded chicken and avocado (cold).

Sadly, was starting to overheat and dehydrate a bit so did not get back to a favorite: a Vietnamese lady who does Vietnamese egg rolls. She doesn’t seem to speak a lot of English, but that’s okay as she has help that handles that while she makes and fries some amazing traditional egg rolls.

A good way to spend a morning, and now most of my knives are ready for a “new year” of cooking. Want to find someone at the Church to tag-team with so I can do some chicken souvlakia, salad, and a blueberry moz dessert. If I can get a good recipe (and maybe some native guidance), hoping also to do some Pho this fall. I can do cooking on Friday and Saturday, but need someone to reheat and/or get things out on Sunday as I really can’t leave during the service to do that. Besides, if they have a car and can get me to Restaurant Depot or other, all the better.

Home now, dealing with package delivery issues (have one package lost in the purgatory-or-worse that is the new USPS center that is a black hole for mail, that needs to be a column). I did get my new driver’s license today, sans donor status. Now in my wallet. I’m also imbibing water and electrolytes, and enjoying the cool. I’ve been using LYTEshow electrolytes with biking and other activities, and really like them. No sugar or artificial sweeteners or flavors, just electrolytes. Tangy, but tastes pretty good and works.

More soon. Hope you all have a good weekend.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. If you want to know some of what it is going for, read here. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Whew!

After posting yesterday morning, I went and joined a friend in the Church kitchen to help them cook for a social that night. What I walked into was a pile of groceries completely covering the work area, and a real-life version of “Chopped.” As in what do you make out of all these ingredients that will be tasty, fun, and enjoyed by an unknown number of people? And, no, we had no idea of how many were showing up for dinner so winged amounts and also had to consider special diets as a possibility.

So, we brainstormed a bit even as we started prep. The only two things he had planned were underway (a brisket in the oven and a big pot of borscht he was starting). We bounced ideas off each other and things took off. We actually changed plans on the fly a few times: something you really aren’t supposed to do, but it was just us and we rolled with the improvements.

Along the way we produced the following: a Thai-style chickpea curry, chicken korma, grilled chicken, grilled salmon, grilled thin ribeye steaks, a rosemary and lime ‘stuffed’ sirloin, grilled lime corn on the cob, grilled asparagus, grilled peppers, an amazing ham and potato salad, two huge bowls of green salads, baked potatoes (the ones not used in the potato salad), and of course the borscht and brisket. Pretty sure I’m leaving out a couple of dishes.

Thing is, I can’t really say how much fun it was. My mind hasn’t really worked that way since the lightning strike, but doing it engaged more of the creative side than the logic side. The bouncing of ideas off each other worked, and forced my brain to work in some ways that haven’t gotten a lot of stimulation. Somewhere along the way, I found myself just doing some things I used to know to do first, like mixing up batches of various seasonings: a general purpose ‘steak’ seasoning I like as a base, a mix for the salmon that used both dry spices and fresh minced dill, and some various herbs that were likely to be needed.

Tried something new with the corn (why not!), in that I covered it in lime juice before putting my ‘steak’ seasoning on it. As the ears roasted on the top rack in the grill, I had a stick of butter I would rub over them after turning them for even cooking. I did put a bit of Tajin on three of the ears as they grilled, though you couldn’t tell it by service. Only thing I would do differently is to put more lime juice on for a longer period of time, as I think it worked well flavor-wise.

I’m exhausted, and even hurt a bit, but it was and is so worth it. My friend is crazy in all the right ways, and playing a giant game of “Chopped” with a social event was indeed crazy, and crazy fun. Even better, the food was enjoyed. Two reactions that made me smile were comments from a somewhat picky “customer” who raved about the salmon; and, a little girl just starting in on solid food who loved the ribeye steak.

One trick I did on the salmon was to put pats of butter on top when I put it skin-side down on the grill. As it cooks the butter melts and keeps that top side moist even as it adds nice flavor to go with the dill. The step-by-step is squeeze fresh lemon juice on the fish, generously season with your chosen spices/rub, throw on some extra dill on top of that, and put pats of butter on top. Grill and enjoy.

So, don’t expect much out of me today unless things really blow up. Be safe, be alert, and enjoy the day. I think I’m going to do some voice exercises and practice singing. Other than that, it’s a good day to relax a bit.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

No Irish Products Need Apply

Part of my family is from Ireland, and I appreciate Irish contributions to the world. Heck, the enclosed Catholic confessional came from the Irish I’m told (by an Irish priest no less). However, there comes a time when you have to let rubbish go; and, to call the current leadership and government of Ireland rubbish is to insult every midden heap and landfill in the world. They are a disgusting lot, and you should pay attention to the ethnic and religious makeup (and how few generations they’ve been in Ireland) of many of them.

As I noted in the previous post, the despicable fascista midget serving as president had Jews removed from the Holocaust Memorial service yesterday, with his goons dragging a pregnant Jewish woman out by the arms. My understanding was that he has been asked by the Jewish community not to attend, but did anyway just to be the largest anti-Semitic ass he could possibly be. Suspect he’s more than happy that many Jews are fleeing Ireland (and I strongly suggest they do as this guy would be right at home in the Third Reich and I suspect he mourns that they no longer exist).

Made the decision a few weeks ago to stop buying Irish products, but decided to go public with it after yesterday.

Kerrygold butter? Not any more. Plugra is as good, costs a little less, and is made here in the US I think.

Alcohol? On the stout front, America as a large abundance of good stouts, not to mention craft beers, that are flat-out better than Guinness. It may be heresy to some, but Guinness mostly coasts on reputation. Diageo is the owner and is not Irish, but promotes it as an Irish brand. Had just been introduced to an independent Irish distiller, but Irish whiskey is off the list. Frankly, lots of small independents to explore here, and I would offer that Scotch was the better choice usually. Again, easy choice to make and I won’t suffer for doing without.

Irish wool and fabrics? Eh, check out this U.S. company that I’ve heard good things about. Again and again there are a lot of good options here to check out, and you would be helping small U.S. businesses.

Seriously, it may not make a huge difference but it is something I can do. I don’t have to support Nazi-loving politicians. I can instead invest in American products and small American businesses. Hope you join me in so doing, as if enough of us do, it might help make a difference.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, which include moving once we have medical issues cleared up, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

DoorDash = Rip Off

The short version for those members of the short-attention-span theatre is that in my opinion they are thieves, and are not recommended. Do not use or trust them for anything. For those who want the full version, here is why I think they are thieves.

Back in December, on the 26th to be precise, I was under the weather and not wanting to go out of the house. This also meant I did not feel like walking to the Steer-Inn (historic diner, Flavortown approved) for a Fiesta omelette. So, being now officially disabled and sick, I decided to give DoorDash a try with the order. I had used them for a small order before, and that had gone okay. So, why not give them a try?

This is what my order looked like when it arrived. Does this look anything like a Fiesta omelette?

Does this? So, first thing I did was to reach out via the web page, but this leads only to an option to request a refund.

So, I use the chat feature to reach out to the delivery driver, Jonte. No go. Tried again. No response.

So, reached out every way I could find. Turns out, the contact info they have with PayPal does not appear to be current, and when I talked with PayPal they provided me a means to actually reach a person. Did so, three times I do believe, and each time they would launch an appeal which was denied. According to them, I got food so I should suck it up and deal with it; that because I got food and had only used them a couple of times meant I should just deal with it and any disappointment was entirely on me. In movie terms: “You f’d up! You trusted us!”

Talking with PayPal, no chance of any help through them because it was a delivery and they don’t get involved. I really need to talk to Visa and see what if anything they can do.

I also want to note that at no point in the process was I asked to provide proof of the wrong order being delivered. In fact, in the initial contact means provided there was no way to do so. When I was denied for the about the fourth time and someone said it was because I had provided no proof (that I repeat I was NEVER asked for) that I finally got an e-mail to send them the photos. I did so. Didn’t matter, no refund.

So, I’m done with them and I am going to do everything I can to warn people about them and their oh-so-interesting business practices. If anyone has any data on how often this is done to the elderly and disabled, I think that could be fascinating to share with a couple of different State AGs who have a habit of suing companies (and even administrations) for interesting practices and such.

Meantime, I do not recommend them and in fact urge you not to give them any business. Save yourself the money, time, and hassle as after about three days they will stop responding even if they have said they will do so. They lie. They also have competition, and if anyone has info on a good delivery service let me know. Meantime, save yourself a rip-off and avoid DoorDash.

Oh, and if they don’t like my opinion that they are thieves (didn’t get the food I ordered or my money back, that’s theft in my book and happy to discuss it in court if they like), they can suck it up and deal with the understandable disappointment (think that was the wording given me by one person on their staff) because it is fully on them.

Sourdough English Muffins

Muffins in progress. Click to embiggen

Today wasn’t only my baking and cleaning day, it turned into a major cooking day. Got as much done as I could for reasons I might get into later, and wish I could have done more.

One thing I did get done was to cook up a batch of sourdough English muffins. I’ve been asked for the recipe, so decided to share it here too.

Ailbe’s Sourdough English Muffins

Hardware: Cast iron skillet, lid, large bowl, tea towel, pastry/cutting board, cutter, scraper.

Ingredients:

  • 360 grams all purpose flour
  • 5 grams sea salt (I use half smoked, half pink)
  • 20 grams maple syrup
  • 240 grams warm distilled water
  • 100 grams (plus) sourdough discard or starter

The day before you want to cook them, combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and mix by hand. If using active starter, use 100 grams. If, like me, you use your “discard” for this, I will go anywhere from half again to double the amount. Scrape down the bowl if needed, and cover with a tea towel/thin dish towel. Let sit in a safe place overnight. NOTE: I will mix the batter anywhere from noon onwards, and put it on a shelf in my room to keep the cats and others out of it.

The next morning, put a cast iron skillet on low heat with a lid. Use your scraper to get the dough out of the bowl and onto a well-floured work surface/board. I do a few fold-and-press until the dough firms up just a bit and forms a rectangle. I then work it out (can be rolled out) to about a quarter inch thick (may be a bit higher, the dough will tell you where it needs to be) and cut into disks. My high-tech cutter is a pint glass which I’ve found to be the perfect size for a proper muffin.

Click to embiggen

Place the muffins into the skillet (I do four at a time) and cover with the lid, and cook for four minutes each side. Place on a plate to cool, stacking as you go. This recipe will do a dozen muffins, sometimes a bit more depending on how generous I was with the discard/starter.

Click to embiggen

Two key things: use a cast iron skillet (it does matter) and get the heat right. Too high and you will burn the muffins. Two low and they will not cook through. I’ve done them enough times now that I know where to set the knob to get good marks and cooking. Plan to experiment on your first batch, and give the pan plenty of time to come to temp before starting.

Enjoy!

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, which include moving once we have medical issues cleared up, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Thank You

Thanks to some people hitting the tip jar, I do indeed have a new pair of Red Wings. Next on the list is a new pair of sneakers, some clothing, and a wire rack storage unit.

Now, me being me, I went and got the new shoes Wednesday afternoon. Managed to get in about three miles of walking with them, as I started the break-in process. Yesterday I got in six or more miles of walking in them. Ouch. Between that and pushing my little grocery cart around all day (shopping day), I was moving like I was 90 by dinner time.

Hope to get a more substantive post up later, but today is baking day. As I work the bread, I’m also doing laundry, some other cleaning, and pretending to clean my room. In addition to bread, cooked up a batch of English muffins. Not only some for me to eat, but am trading them for rides since I have no car.

Dozen on the plate, two cooking for me

The young man who bought my car still hasn’t transferred the title, so got to send him a certified letter yesterday. Hoping that this gets taken care of quickly, as it not being transferred raises legal liability issues. Joy.

More later as getting the post done between stretch-and-folds. I still do everything by hand, and I get pretty good results if I say so myself. Even better, several people at Church have been letting me know they think it’s good.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, which include moving once we have medical issues cleared up, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Italian Food

Okay, I screwed up a bit today and overdid it. Part involved missing a bus while the bread was on first rise and betting I could walk to my destination before the next bus got there. Did it. Then walked back. Then took another walk later. If I thought I was tired before…

So, wanted to do a real post but decided to do a semi-funny story because a post on X reminded me of it. The post was a joke about the mafia running a pizza chain and giving up crime as the pizza paid better. Which reminded me of some really good Italian food that came to Huntsville many years ago.

It was the first time I did work for NASA (sub sub contractor??) and several of us were into food. When word came of a new Italian place that was supposed to be fantastic, I was a bit skeptical. Keep in mind that I lived a summer in northern Italy with an Uncle stationed there a while back, and had gotten to travel a bit besides. On top of that, I’ve had some of the best Italian in Boston and NYC (when the undercover cops tell you that X has the best Italian food in the city, and the restaurant is essentially neutral ground between the Mob and the cops, trust me it is indeed quite good).

So, some of us went to check the place out. Going in, you had to actually go through the kitchen to get to the dining area. Part of which was inside, part of which was outside and included a Bocce Ball set-up. Going through the kitchen I looked at what was being cooked, how it was being cooked, and did a bit of sniffing. Think my comment was along the lines of ‘this is going to be good.’

Yes it was. In fact, I would have stacked it up against almost any Italian food I’d had in the U.S. It was really good, and the rather flamboyant and loud owner and host was a bit of a hoot. He taught people how to play Bocce Ball, how to eat certain dishes, and have a good time. I really enjoyed the place despite his over-the-top antics. The food was just so good.

Then reality hit. Word went out quietly that the restaurant had closed. Louder words soon followed, and the true story came out.

Turns out Mr. Flamboyant had been in the Witness Protection Program, and had testified against the Mob. Accountant type, not a Pistol Pete or more. Don’t know for sure, but got the impression it was the Sicilians though some plumped for the Irish Mob. The attention coming to the restaurant, even in Huntsville, was not good. His not paying taxes or any withholding on his employees got the IRS involved, and well, they apparently had to move him again. Still wonder if the prime protection for so doing was in regards the Mob or the IRS. Prefer to deal with the Mob than the IRS to be honest. Seem to remember that he gave investment advice to employees and others too. Ah well.

I had some dealings years before that with someone else who had been in the WPP. Don’t remember why she was in the WPP, but do know that when they had to do an emergency relocation on her because of her being a ***** to so many people, and stiffing so many people, no one was surprised at her being in the WPP. That person was such that many felt she should have just been left hanging in the breeze. By this point, she’s long gone, and I’ve said a prayer for her soul.

It was a loss to culinary Huntsville, and frankly a bit more given just how good it was. Right now, can’t think of a place in NYC that matches it (even in the new Little Italy) and only a couple in Boston. As much as I do love Little Italy in the Bronx (Little Italy in Manhattan is mostly a tourist place now IMO), they would be hard pressed to match it. Sometimes wonder what happened to Mr. Flamboyant, but if he is still around and they relocated you to Indiana, drop me a line. I won’t say a word.

Thought I would share a funny and mostly pleasant memory this Friday evening. May your weekend be good, and tasty.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, which include moving once we have medical issues cleared up, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

What A Week!

Last week, I had volunteered to help with food for a national conference being held at our Church. Officially, I signed up for one three or so hour shift I think. Unofficially, I had already talked with the Chef in charge of all the food for the event, and pretty much signed a blank check. Yes, my mind does still think I’m 20, why do you ask? <smile>

Some of you have figured out a good bit about my Church, but I try to keep them out of the line of fire. Short description of what went on is this: An open annual meeting was hosted by my Church that is in practice national but open to all Churches in our denomination that fall within our diocese. Our diocese covers the United States, Canada, and Australia (!), and apparently a couple of other odd countries. Have sort of gotten the feeling that when they don’t know where to put the Churches in a country, they stick them in our diocese while they figure things out. So, while all of the Churches in these countries can take part, it really comes down to it being the Churches in the U.S. Sometimes there is participation by Canadian Churches, but even that is rare I am told.

Now, the conference is more focused on nuts-and-bolts of operations, though there is some discussion of theology and theological considerations. As a result, the — call him Archbishop though he has a different title — over the diocese (that is all the Churches in the U.S., Canada, Australia, etc.) attends. From a religious perspective, this is — of course — a big deal. Those that have met him before told me a lot of good things about him, but for those that are Roman Catholic or understand their system, you are talking effectively a Cardinal. I had hoped I might get to meet him at a service, maybe get a blessing as part of such, but really didn’t expect more than that. More on that in a bit.

The Chef (and I use the initial cap VERY deliberately) who was in charge of the food is amazing. I’ve met her briefly before, and the short version is that upon coming to America she got a job as a dishwasher at a higher-end establishment, quickly got promoted to cook, and I understand she owned her own restaurant for a while. In short, she knows what she is doing, how she wants things done, and while she may have a small penchant for micromanagement, she’s earned it. I have no objection to being told ‘cut this way and to this size’ and in fact I like it when I am working for someone else if I know EXACTLY what they want and how they want it. Makes life much easier.

Now, it wasn’t one meal. It was an introductory supper; breakfast/brunch, lunch, dinner; breakfast, lunch, (dinner catered as it was also a dance/celebration held elsewhere); then, brunch/lunch. For those who have done restaurant or food service work, it was effectively cooked to order. For those who don’t know what that means, here’s a quick breakdown.

We started food preparation on Wednesday. While some things were bought commercial and pre-made (desserts, chips, etc.), everything else was prepared from scratch. What this really means is that the clock started ticking Wednesday and it is a very complex clock. Some of what I did Wednesday was to prepare ingredients or to prepare to create ingredients that would be needed on Sunday for the final meal. It is a complex process to ensure everything comes together at the right time so that the final products come out at the right time, at the right temperature, and in the right condition for each meal.

Now, to add to the fun, each meal had a different number of people signed up for it. We also had to take into account that there were fasting requirements in place. My Church takes fasting rather seriously, in that during the average week there are two fasting days where depending on circumstances you can’t use meat; you may or may not be able to use oil or wine; and, there may be other restrictions. Also, some of the monastic orders have dietary restrictions on members. So, the whole menu has to be planned around this.

One example. The opening day was an open day, so anything went. The next day was a fasting day with no meat, no dairy, and some minor considerations. We did a salad on the first day native to the home country of the Archbishop, which included a special cheese. Great in that respect (and he was quite happy at seeing it); but, it could not be used in any way on the second day. The Chef did an outstanding job of threading the menu needle with the planned dishes. She also did an AMAZING job of timing things out so that every dish was on the table at the right temp and right condition at precisely the right time.

Which of course meant that almost immediately we got the dreaded ‘can you do this 30 minutes earlier/hour later’ well after the clock had started in earnest on that meal. Unless you have worked food service or cooked professionally, you don’t know what a big hairy warty deal that is, or how much it sucketh more mightily than an 10-to-the-negative-16th TOR vacuum. The clock on that meal starts 8 or more hours before that meal. When you have multiple dishes (and most meals literally have six to 10 dishes/components), you are talking a very complex operation. A good Chef can handle 5-15 minutes even if it is a major pain in the patuchas. Beyond that, only the really good ones can handle it and not at the very last minute. You get much beyond 30, well in advance, and most are going to laugh at you. Thirty minutes, we handled, though the “customer” didn’t have a clue how much work that entailed. When you have a good team, the customer only sees the result, not the massive amount of extra work and sweat. We had a good team.

Now, we did have to change a couple of things on the fly to accommodate both changes and issues. The latter is expected, and you account for it in planning. An ingredient may not be available, a product not delivered on time, etc. Changes are a major, major, pain.

*****

Which leads me to something I want to say to everyone: When you do something like this, and they ask on the flippin registration form if you have dietary issues (for any reason), tell them. If you are going out to eat and have special requirements, call ahead and ask/notify. Please, for the love of all, do not wander up and demand/ask people to stop setting up the meal service to tell you what dishes do/don’t have X in them. If you are massively allergic to dairy, shellfish/iodine (my issue), or peanuts, or whatever TELL THEM AS FAR AHEAD OF TIME AS POSSIBLE.

When you don’t, and we have used prepared ingredients, say a store-bought sausage we did not make ourselves, when you wander up at the last minute we then have to dig through the garbage can (and/or the dumpster, potentially) to find the package and check. This is a bit of a disruption to getting the meal out on time as you then have to have everyone not only stop to try to find every ingredient label from everything used all freakin day, then clean up, sterilize areas, and wash up and sterilize ourselves, and well, if you don’t get it, it is a major pain in the rump and a MAJOR legal liability for those doing the food. In short, if we can’t find all the labels the default (legal and the court of public opinion) is that we have to tell you that a given dish has to be considered as having dairy/shellfish/nut/etc. in it as we can’t prove it DOESN’T. And, no, having just cooked food for 50 to 200 people, we can’t just whip up dishes to accommodate your needs in five minutes. Even if we have the staff, you are talking 30 or more minutes to send someone to the store and hope it has products that meet your specific requirements, prep time, cooking time, and serving time. TELL THE PEOPLE AHEAD OF TIME ESPECIALLY IF THEY FLIPPIN ASK YOU!!! If they ask and you wander up at the last minute, you are either seeking attention or are an idiot. DON’T BE THAT CUSTOMER!!!

Also, if it is not from a medical issue, don’t be that customer who goes into a barbecue joint and demands a vegan option. That’s just being something I’m not supposed to call people these days, and frankly if you do it you get what you deserve. Choices are not medical issues. If you have a medical issue, you should know to check ahead. If it’s not a medical issue, don’t be a jerk. Period. No, we did not have any of those, thank goodness. We did have a couple of people that should have notified us ahead of time on the registration form when asked. We could have at least has signage out saying that X dish was dairy/nut/shellfish/etc. free. Signage is easy. Scrambling at the last minute is not. Be considerate. Also, just a reminder, ask early rather than trying to stop service to get an answer. Again, be considerate.

*****

Oh, and a few extra people showing up usually isn’t an issue. More than seven or so gets to be a problem, but a few is okay. If a few don’t show up, well, your food staff is usually appreciative as it means they get to eat. (smile)

In our case, everything went relatively smoothly. Some changes, some timing changes, etc. Nothing too far out of the park. Which was good as we were usually starting full prep on the next meal before the guests were finished with the one being served. Again (and again) the Chef in charge ran the operation like a restaurant and I really appreciated and enjoyed that. Lots of good reminders.

Also, some good lessons. Her method of cutting/preparing fresh pineapple was much better than what I had been taught. Quicker and less waste. Picked up a few other new takes on how to do things. I’m not as fast as I used to be with some of the prep, but can still get the job done.

I did have a bit of a (pleasant) shock the first day when setting up the food table for the first dinner. A gentleman in robes wandered up and was admiring the table, we chatted a small bit, and I froze as I realized I was talking with the Archbishop and had not been briefed on protocol. I think it amused him that I froze up for a moment, but he just went on and made a couple of nice comments on how good everything looked. I then dove back into preparation and he got ready to eat. Had the impression, and heard from others later, he was very happy to see the salad from his home country on the table, and apparently enjoyed it very much. I did get a more formal blessing later, and he was kind enough to describe the food as “manna” and was quite happy with all the meals from what I could find out. Came away with the impression of a laid-back and even humble man, though he was quite emphatic in the areas that truly counted.

So, it was a week of long (very) days. I’m still exhausted and could tell it both walking to/from the guitar lessons and even with the lesson this morning. Other than this, trying to take the day off and recover a bit. Might have even had a glass of wine. Going to cook up something quick and easy for supper soon. If the weather was nicer, would walk back down to the taco truck, but the weather isn’t nice and the walk to the guitar lesson was a PITA from the humidity and from having to push things because of weather. Really glad I didn’t do anything in the kitchen yesterday as I attended Matins then Liturgy. Was so tired, and voice was off, so made no attempt to sing in the choir/chorus. Besides, let me focus on the services, which were unusual as we had more than 20 priests and deacons (40+???) taking part in addition to the Archbishop. When they sang or chanted in chorus, wow! I did get asked to hold a large bowl of blessed bread at the end of service, which I did as it was just standing there holding a large bowl. Easy.

Because I was in the kitchen so much, didn’t get to mingle and meet quite as much as I would have liked. That said, did get to meet a few new people and was amused at one young man who saw my hat (straw Panama) and thought I looked like an archeologist, which is what he wants to be. Have some invitations to attend other Churches around the U.S., and who knows, I may take some of them up on that one day. Wish I could have met more/spent a bit more time with the crowd, but had a great time in the kitchen. Kitchen is home in many ways.

So, while I’m sorry I didn’t post a whole lot since last Tuesday, I was a touch busy. Today will be a bit of a let-down food-wise, but that may be for the best.

I hope you all had a good weekend, and there is more to come.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, which include moving once we have medical issues cleared up, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.