As a writer, you always wonder how much impact you have had with your work. If a book sells well, you know you’ve done something, even if you may not always be sure what you have done. With a lot of other work, stories and online posts, you never know and comments are an extremely unreliable thing. In fact, I will join with others and say never read the comments in posts or such about you and/or your work. That said, you always wonder if you have ever truly been able to reach even one person, for if you have, you have done at least some good in the world.
But, I have to admit that since the open heart surgery, I’ve been questioning my life and what, if anything, I’ve accomplished. Many of the normal things, like a wife and children, are not there for reasons that I won’t go into. I wanted them, and there is still time for marriage, though I am not sure I should have children. It’s been one of those times where you can get down, and when you do you might wonder if anyone will even show up at your funeral. Though I admit I want a wake to go with the funeral, so that if anyone does show up a good time is had by them all. I also still like the idea of a speaker for the dead…
I bring this up as this has been a day of answers and blessings for me. This morning, Sarah A. Hoyt wrote something at Instapundit that made it very dusty in here. The fact is, I had no idea about her reading me. When I began reading her, I didn’t have a clue she had already been reading me. Funny how things work out. Thanks to her, the fundraiser has taken off.
On top of that, it was a good day at Cardiac Rehab. I may not have had a heart attack, but my path back is much like that. We’ve had some things come up that are concerning, though some were not entirely unexpected. For example, it’s not unusual for your BP to go up as you start rehab. I was surprised and disappointed, however, at how high mine went. Not as bad as after the lightning strike, but bad enough. It’s been slow work getting it down, several medication changes. Today was the best BP in a while and while there is a long way to go it is coming down and I’m also starting to get a bit of stamina back (IMO).
There have also been some other issues that have come up. I won’t get into all of them, but will say that I was delighted when the cardiac monitor I have to wear for two weeks showed up today. It’s a cute little thing that has one part attached to my chest and a phone that pairs with it to monitor and record. Hopefully, it will help them figure out what else is going on and see what we can do about it. If it does not show any afib, whatever else it does show, it can help get me off one medicine — and getting off meds is a good thing.
A minor blessing of the day was waking up and not having some sinus issues as normal. Landlord put a humidifier in my room, and it has made a huge difference in breathing and in not shocking myself silly via static electricity. Small potatoes in some way, but it is a positive.
The other blessing of the day is getting all the prayers and messages of hope from people around the world. People who even if they could not donate, offered prayers for me. I very much believe that the prayers I got before the surgery are one reason I did so well.
It has been a day of answers and blessings, large and small. Thank you for them all. My thanks to higher have already gone out. May your day be blessed as well.