A Rant On Behalf Of A Friend

Warning: This rant may contain foul or objectionable language and is rated I for Infantry. There are likely to be frank discussions about parentage, probable offspring, and sexual preferences of those under discussion. I would say it is intended for mature audiences, but the fact that I am writing it to CNN management at all levels rules that out. I will try to use small words so as not to tax their lack of intellect.

I got up this morning fully expecting to write my first major story at the new host on Armageddon Joe (stealing a line from Twitter: He grew up in Nagasaki you know…) and the nuclear follies. There is plenty of time for that I suspect, and while it needs discussion I need to lower my blood pressure and vent some ire.

If you are with CNN, I ask you to read this as if my greying muzzle is parked about three inches in front of your eyes and I’ve recently eaten pickled eggs. I’m going to start with the more in sorrow than anger tone, but it’s not going to last.


I’m not even going to ask you what your fecking major malfunction is, as it is obvious to anyone who has observed your actions over the years. It is writ upon everything you do, everything you have done, and barring a very direct and powerful deus ex machina painfully visited upon you, it will be writ upon everything you ever do. You are cowards led by cowards. Honor, integrity, and professionalism are words you have to look up in the dictionary as they are not a part of your life.

There isn’t a murderous tyrant on this Earth that you haven’t felched. You’ve admitted more than once to not running stories about them because if you did you would lose the ability to “interview” them, run their propaganda, and be able to claim that you had an office or bureau in their country.

Your commitment to journalistic ethics and honesty are such that Duranty is shaking his head in disgust at you. In that zoo you call a newsroom you had Toobins, Taters, Lemons, and a host of others who wouldn’t know real and honest journalism if it came up and bit them or you on your fat asses! You were and are a laughingstock, and you had one person, ONE, who showcased honor, professionalism, and integrity. AND YOU DID THIS TO HER???

Just consider everything from here on to be in all caps

You festering pustules on the anus of humanity! You products of a sperm bank for the mentally deficient! It’s no wonder you can only have sex with your partner on top as all you can do is fuck up! You do not know how to do anything else!

I don’t care that the cowardly fucking simp that was Zucker is gone. How many of you knew about this disgusting display of abject cowardice and toxic lack of professionalism and said and did nothing? Did any of you say or do anything, or did you just lie back to either enjoy or rejoice that it wasn’t happening to you?

There is not the first one of you who has any idea about real journalism or professionalism in any form. Got news for you sweethearts, this is not how it is done. It is not how real people, real managers, or real anything work. Real people step up, have discussions, listen, counsel at need, and everybody learns and grows. The level of cowardice you have displayed is beyond comprehension and better suited to a kindergarten playground than an alleged professional organization.

I don’t know what she thinks of me, but I consider her a friend and a professional that I highly respect. Respect that has been earned, something you fucktards don’t have the first clue about. She was the ONLY reason I watched CNN at all in the last few years as if I saw her on I would stop and watch for as long as she was on. I deeply regret letting two people pressure me into a decision years back that I regard as one of the worst mistakes of my life. MK is the personification of all the things you mental midgets will never have: personal and professional ethics, honor, integrity, fortitude, and class. I don’t think I can find any of her many positive attributes in any of you even if I used a fucking electron microscope.

I’m not sure that between the lot of you that there are two neurons to form a synapse, or a complete set of reproductive organs. Unlike you, she has a brain and uses it; and, hers are big, brass, and clank when she walks even though they are inside her. She has taken hits in life no one should have to face, and has rebuilt her life and apparently achieved personal happiness on a level that warms the cockles of this old wolf’s black flabby heart.

And you do this to her! You defective miserable pieces of shit! The best part of your daddies clearly dribbled down your momma’s leg. You are disgusting cowards that make slime molds seem elevated.

You owe her an apology, at the least. A real one, not a typical corporate or political non-apology. If any of you have any inkling of honor or integrity it will be made on your knees. As much time as the lot of you spend on them anyway, it shouldn’t be too hard to get on your knees to apologize. Personally, I hope she never darkens your doorway again, as she can do a hell of a lot better than the sewer that is CNN.


If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, feel free to hit the tip jar in the upper right or the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo. Getting hit by lightning is not fun, and it is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.