Theology & Philosophy – The Laughing Wolf

Why Discernment?

Originally, the reason for the upcoming pilgrimage was for spiritual development. By Orthodox standards, I am still very new to Orthodoxy. I started attending about three years ago, and have only formally been a member for a couple of years I think. On top of my memory playing tricks on me from the lightning strike, there are days like I feel that I’ve always been a part of this Church — and it feels good and reassuring that others also feel like I’ve been a part of it for far longer than I have.

That said, I want to draw further into faith, to explore deeper realms if you will. That’s also a reason I have begun taking courses at the seminary and am contemplating possibly going full time at some point if this current experiment proves I can handle the load (stupid lightning).

Then, something happened last year that was very unexpected. I won’t go into details, yet; but, I was asked if I would consider stepping up a bit more. I knew I wanted to do a bit more; but, this would be a BIT more.

Back when I was Catholic, I explored the possibility of the priesthood. I felt pulled in that direction in some ways. However, the diocese said I was too old. To be honest, I was a bit relieved as I am not sure I could have been the priest I would want/need to be in the current Roman Catholic Church.

Then came Orthodoxy and while I am theologically much more comfortable I’ve also had the chance to do a lot of thinking and prayer. Of late, I’ve been working through some things for myself, and thought I might share some thoughts on discernment with you. In this way, I lay out some of the issues I’ve been working through for both my own contemplation and for yours. Especially given a few interesting (and in once case ignorant) comment I caught over at Instapundit.

First, I am quite comfortable not knowing precisely where the path I’m on may lead. Contrary to chest thumpers and others, many people exploring the path of discernment are not positive of where they are headed. They may have a good idea, but a person truly on the path knows that the Lord will put them where they should be and are content to leave such up to him. They also are, usually, smart enough not to challenge the Lord.

There are two statements one should never make in real, guided discernment. The first is “I could never be or do X” and the second is along the lines of ‘The Lord would never do X or make me do X.’ Frankly, I view both statements as being akin to saying during a disaster ‘what else can go wrong.’ If you are foolish enough to utter these, you are quite likely to hear from on high words to the effect of “oh really?!?” and your life is going to get VERY interesting.

The thing is, the path I think I am on and for which I have been getting guidance, can have several outcomes. Let me run through some of them very quickly.

First up, the Priesthood. On many levels, this has come to terrify me. I’ve been pushed to become a preacher or priest since high school. I somehow new being a Methodist preacher was not right for me right at the start, and the same held true for the Episcopal Church when I joined it when I was a junior in high school. On some levels, I was quite relieved when when I became Catholic and the diocese said ‘too old’ as I knew that was not the right path for the right reasons on some level.

Being a Priest is an enormous responsibility. It’s not just that you have to have wisdom even more than knowledge; rather, it’s that you have to have empathy, compassion, understanding, patience, and many other positive aspects. You are fully responsible for the souls of others, and if you are not doing it for the right reasons and at the right time, you can not only mess them up but damn your own soul in the process.. You have to be doing it for the right reasons, at the right time, and in the right way for their sake as well as yours.

Me, I’m living proof that God can work with and forgive anyone. There is no sin we can commit that God can’t forgive if we truly repent. That said, to approach the Priesthood requires us to be doing the right thing, in the right way, and at the right time — or else. I’m very much afraid not only of doing something wrong; but, that my own flaws would prevent me from being what I need to be. I’m fully prepared to face judgement for my own mistakes. That I may have in the past, or in the future, lead others astray or simply not lead properly to their detriment is more terrifying than anything I have ever done.

A second outcome of the path I think I am on is the Deaconate. Deacons and Sub-Deacons are the backbone of a traditional Church. While their role is diminished in some respects in comparison to the Priesthood (a discussion for another day), they are an integral part of the Liturgy and the life of the Church. For all that they bear a lot of responsibility, they also don’t have the same crushing responsibilities as the Priesthood. Close, but not the same. And while they do have pastoral duties, they are not on the same level as that of the Priest.

A third possible outcome is monastic life. I really should do a fuller discussion one day soon; but, while monastics need a fair bit of knowledge, they do not have to be priests or even deacons as they have a very different role. I have a good friend who is preparing to commit to monastic life in the next few years. It is the right thing for him, I think; but, my health and other considerations seem to preclude monastic life as a consideration for me.

A fourth possible outcome is really two that I will lump together. There are some academic and administrative roles in the Church that require a great deal of knowledge and coursework and/or degrees or certificates from seminaries. I can see either role as a possibility for all that I have come to despise various aspects of politics — which would be part and parcel of such positions and work.

Now, I think I know where I am headed. That said, the path of discernment is not a path of our desires or our will. Anyone who says you should know your desire and push towards it is not to be trusted on anything. The path of discernment requires you to lay aside your desires, your goals, and your will and submit fully and completely to the Lord and his will.

It is entirely possible that the Lord may have something else entirely in mind for me than what I have outlined above. For all that I think I know where I am headed, that may not be his Will. Part of what I hope to gain from this upcoming pilgrimage is to better understand his Will for my path. I don’t expect final answers; rather, I do expect to have clearer guidance on both my personal spiritual journey and as to the path I think I am on. That path may be the real path, or I may be shown a different path or a different route or branch to the one I think I am following.

Thing is, I want to open myself up to the possibilities, to the guidance, and a better discernment of his Will rather than my own. My own will tends towards lazy and comfortable. Let’s say that I have a strong suspicion that comfortable and lazy are not the ways of the Lord. Coasting and letting by to get by were not his ways during his Incarnation and I doubt that has changed. In fact, I know it has not.

So, I will cast myself upon the waters. My goal is to learn more about my Faith and my Church; to deepen my Faith and practice through that; and, to see where I may (or may not) be pointed or guided in the process. While the practicalities are exciting (and fun even), the spiritual aspects are a bit scary and daunting. Especially as I am offering myself up to the Lord to do with as he will.

We will see what happens. I will be sharing the normal, the fun, and as much of the journey itself as I can. Where I can, I hope to share more, including insights. Stay tuned, more is to come.

Please check out my Winter 26 Bleg!

If you would like to help me with this trip, seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Odds And Ends

I have not gotten nearly enough done on the midterm exam today, as other things kept popping up. Had to run down to the Church for a little bit, which was a delight as I got to meet a new family I’ve seen a few times but not gotten to meet. Two boys, who have hit it off with our Priests sons; and, a daughter who swings between joining in with the younger kids and then with the older. All are very well behaved and have sharp minds. Was great to get to know them and their mother a bit better. Good thoughts for her please, she has her hands full. 🙂

I thought I might share some prayers real quick that I’ve been finding particularly helpful. First up, based in part on a wonderful talk by a bishop a few months ago, a prayer I try to say any time I get into the car: “Lord, let my inner light and my heart show forth to the world, and nothing else.” I was originally a little more blunt and said ‘no other part of my anatomy’ but thought some additional refinement was a good thing.

Second, I had to admit to my Priest and Deacon today that the prayer I’ve probably said most (and most sincerely) in my life was: “Lord, please don’t let me screw this up.” I admitted this in conjunction with a possible opportunity that has come up on the upcoming pilgrimage. If it does happen, will be sharing with you as far in advance as I can. Might check in next week once things are underway.

Third, think I’ve gotten my Priest into one of my prayers on life and preparedness: Plan for the worst, pray for the best, accept what comes. I’ve found it to be a very good way to approach life and all facets of life over the years.

Headed to bed soon, as have to get a bunch done tomorrow as well as much more on the midterm. So, early to rise it is and I will post as I can. More soon.

Please check out my Winter 26 Bleg!

If you would like to help me with this pilgrimage seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Burnt Toast Theory

I’ve heard of this before, though I’ve never heard this name for it (that I remember). I saw someone talking about it on X this morning, as I was hearing from a friend about some travel travails he is having.

The theory holds that God sometimes lets ‘bad’ things happen to us to prevent a greater harm. In the version put forth this morning, someone burns their toast, which sets off a chain of events that results in them missing the bus/train/whatever to work. As a result, they are late or miss the day entirely. Sounds like a bad day, right? However, by missing the bus/train/whatever, or having to take a different route, they miss having an accident/being in an accident and being badly hurt or killed.

For all that it doesn’t take into account free will (an important point), it is a cute and quite possibly valid concept. There have been plenty of times I’ve gone ‘Whew! Glad I didn’t go that route’ when driving/traveling. It is always a good thought to think that there is a reason things happened when we hit delays, detours, and such. It’s even more important to consider such when such things happen on our spiritual journey and see things not as a setback, delay, or detour in regards how and where we think we should go. After all, it’s not our will that should be the lead.

My friend will make it home in due time, and he may be avoiding something worse or — an important point to consider — he may experience something needful for his growth and development. That is a point most versions of the ‘Burnt Toast’ theory I’ve seen over the years have missed. It’s not always about avoiding a danger, but about recognizing and accepting an opportunity for growth.

Just some food for thought this morning. Posting may be a bit spotty, I have midterms this week on top of a host of other things. I’m just thankful it wasn’t last week as there would have been no way…

More soon.

Please check out my Winter 26 Bleg!

If you would like to help me with my Spring 26 pilgrimage, seminary courses, and more, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. I’ve added Cash App ($CliffPow7) and Venmo (@Clifford-Powers-5). There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. Getting hit by lightning is not fun! It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Christ Is Risen!

For the Orthodox and a few others, today is Pascha,the Resurrection of the Lord. Pascha means Passover, and it was the term used in the early Church to describe Christ’s passing into death and Resurrection as the penultimate Passover, as by so doing he trampled down death by death.

I’m going to steal a bit from my X post as I’m running on about four hours sleep in the last 24 hours. For all that I am conscious, I am not awake.

Orthodoxy celebrates Pascha as a moveable feast, while the Roman Catholic Church, and through it most Protestant Churches, have made it a fixed feast as it is supposed to make life easier. Arguments can be made for both ways, but I will say that keeping it moveable allows Christ’s death and resurrection to be celebrated as close to the actual anniversary as possible.

Historic records and early Christian tradition place the Crucifixion as taking place on 14 Nissan of the Jewish Calendar, which was March 25 on the Roman (Julian) calendar in use at the time. Which is also why Christmas is celebrated on 25 December as the Passion and Death is considered the theological precipitating event for the Birth of Christ. It is worth noting that the Annunciation, the conception of Christ, also takes place around the same time.

Today, the date for Orthodox Pascha is calculated based off several factors including the lunar calendar. As a result, most years there is a difference between Orthodox and Roman Catholic dates; but, sometimes they are the same (like last year).

It has been a LONG week and a half of services and more. If you want bright eyed and bushy tailed, go find a squirrel. 🙂

Aside from the midnight service this morning (which for me started about 7pm Saturday), the highlight was the baptism of 27 converts to Orthodoxy Saturday morning. I’m honored to be the sponsor/Godfather to one of them, a young Navy vet. Traditional Churches have seen a large influx of people interested in learning about traditional Christianity, and ours is no exception. At pretty much every service these days it is not unusual to see one or more first time visitors. Not just first time to our Church, but to an Orthodox Church — and sometimes their first visit to a Christian church. What is heartening is how many keep coming back.

There is something rather profound going on not just in America, but in the West in general. Quite a few of those coming to visit are young, as in mid- to late-teens and early twenties. There is also a percentage of older who are returning to Christianity. All the groups are looking for something that I can only describe as values. They have heard of, or experienced, faith without foundations, flitting around to the latest social causes and trends. Such faith is that of Birnam Wood, having no roots or foundation in Christ. Or, if Shakespeare is not to your taste, think of Dante’s shifters for such places of worship.

The good John Donovan, former proprietor of the Castle, turned me onto some writing by another that I want to cover soon. I’m actually not only re-reading the post he sent, but the posts that preceded it. I think he is right as it applies to his joining the Catholic Church and my embrace of Orthodoxy: We do it not because it is easy, or that we thought it would be easy; rather, we chose it because it is NOT easy and demands the best of us.

These new converts have seen what comes of always doing the easy thing. They understand that doing the right thing (in almost any context) is almost never easy. As such, they have started as inquirers, then after a time applied to become catechumens, worked through that process, and then those who made it through that are baptised into the Faith. It rarely is a quick process, and even then never easy. My own conversion was hurried a bit (6-8 month process as opposed to a year) as I was facing the prospect of yet more open heart surgery: surgery that didn’t happen as after my Baptism my heart was found to be completely healed from damage caused by the lightning strike. If you are wondering why I’m on the path I seem to be on…

The baptismal service was a bit long this year. For all that some of the readings and such were done (semi-quietly) as the baptisms were done, it still ran about four hours I think.

First, the cats, er, catechumens, were herded to the appropriate spot with their sponsors. I should also mention that we pretty much had to have a substitute choir to chant and sing as our music director and two or three of the rest of us (we are a small choir) were sponsors/Godparents and not available for our normal duties.

Once in place, there were the preparatory prayers for each catechumen. Then came the anointing with oil, that is applied to ten locations (12? Brain not working) on the person with corresponding prayer. Then comes the baptism by water, with three full immersions. A couple of the toddlers were not happy about that (not unexpected), but it was delightful watching the somewhat older children eagerly participate. I found out one young man of seven had not only installed a countdown app on his phone and programmed it for the start of the event, but had even slept on the floor of his room with his head against the door so that he would wake up as soon as someone started to open it.

Once dried off (mostly) and in their baptismal robes, the participants are then Chrismated. Following that, there is a procession (hey, processions are a part of the Orthodox DNA even if we don’t get to march all over Constantinople these days) which leads them up towards the altar so that they can participate fully in the liturgy that follows. As part of that, they partake of the Eucharist for the first time. Interesting thing is that they are required to wear their robes any time they are in the Church for the next 40 days. As part of that, they are to go first at many events, from venerations to partaking of the Eucharist. At the end of the service, the Chrismation is wiped off (in the earliest days of the Church, the person spent a week in the Church and only then was it removed).

With 27 to be baptized, it took a while. For me, sitting (well, standing mostly as Orthodox tradition is to stand for most of the service) with my Godson and some of his family, it was a delight to actually experience the Liturgy. When you are as involved as we are as chanters, you are focused on doing things right, what comes next, how do we handle X, etc. To experience the service as a regular participant was a needed reminder and delight.

Our midnight service uses a very old hymn rather extensively and I will leave you today with it and hope you enjoy it and it moves you. It is sung rather, er, energetically, if not in a martial manner, as well as joyously.

In the ancient Greek:

Χριστὸς Ἀνέστη ἐκ νεκρῶν
θανάτῳ θάνατον πατήσας
καὶ τοῖς ἐν τοῖς μνήμασι
ζωὴν χαρισάμενος.

In English:

Christ is risen from the dead,
trampling down death by death,
and upon those in the tombs
bestowing life.

In Church Slavonic:

Хрⷭ҇то́съ воскр҃се и҆з̾ ме́ртвыхъ,
сме́ртїю сме́рть попра́въ,
и҆ сꙋ̑щимъ во гробѣ́хъ
живо́тъ дарова́въ.

I wish you a Blessed and Wonderful Pascha!

Palm Sunday

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday for Orthodox Christians. Today we had Liturgy and then Church cleaning and projects day. The flower team outdid themselves.

Pilgrimage Update: Initial Mount Athos Approval

My plans for the day have changed a bit as this morning I submitted (again) my request to the Greek government to visit Mount Athos this spring. You actually end up having to get multiple approvals — effectively — as Mount Athos is a semi-autonomous region.

To go visit, you first have to be male as no women/girls are allowed within the region. You also have to apply to a special office of the Greek government that controls visiting. They check to see that you are male (per photo and passport), Orthodox (baptismal certificate), and have the blessing of your priest or higher (letter vouching for you, certifying you are a member in good standing of the Church, etc.).

My understanding is that it used to be possible to request a visit close to a year in advance. That, however is not the current mode of operation and one has to apply three months in advance. They are quite specific about that as it turns out, and my initial application last fall came back with a note to apply again three months before the visit. And they did indeed mean exactly three months. I finally hit that milestone, applied, and now have approval to go and stay there on some specific dates.

There is a certificate/documentation I will have to pick up in Greece before attempting to find a boat to take me to Mount Athos. A friend has hired a guide for me, that he has used on previous visits who will be assisting me the entire time I am in Greece. It should make the paperwork, bureaucracy, and other delights much more manageable. The next step is to actually contact monasteries on Mount Athos and arrange to spend time on there. There is one I really want to visit, and two I’m drawn towards but am letting my spiritual guides and the Greek guide make suggestions and guide me on the last two.

Now that this is approved, I can begin planning the rest of the trip. I’ve already reached out to my Bishop, who is providing guidance, and am now looking at the second major part of the trip, which is spending up to a week at a monastery in Bulgaria. I’m also working on being able to take my final in my current/first seminary course while in Bulgaria. If anyone wants to get me a Starlink Mini, drop me a line. (smile) For all that I would like to go ahead and make reservations for some of the planned cooking lessons, I’m going to wait until we have a few other things booked.

I want to thank all of you for the support and encouragement. Some of you have helped cover costs for the trip and the seminary, and I very much appreciate it. If you want to help, check below. Now, to get back to the planned schedule of the day. Maybe.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, and to start a truly new life, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. If you want to know some of what it is going for, read here. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Theophany and Interesting Days

NOTE: I wrote this yesteday on X and wanted to share it here as well. Adding a bit to flesh it out a bit.

I’ve been offline a good bit recently because of my “work” at my Church. It’s not a paid job, and while it is work for which I volunteer it is not a typical “volunteer” position type thing. It is very much a labor of love, and a chance to grow in Faith and in knowledge of the Faith. It is also part of why I am going back to school, as I officially started a class (online) at a well-regarded Greek Orthodox seminary today (Monday).

The “work” I do is, on the surface, fairly mundane. I am helping our Deacon (which is almost like an Assistant Priest in a protestant church, though that’s not a great analogy). The Deacon is not a Priest, but is one step below being a Priest. They do a lot of work in the Sanctuary and at the Altar to help the Priest with their duties. Some of that work is fairly mundane, such as taking care of the olive oil lamps (lampadas) and candles.

What I do is go in an hour or two ahead of a service, and take care of the lampadas and candles in the Sanctuary. Quick note: I can only work on those in the sanctuary as I am not authorized to enter the altar area. In the Orthodox Church, there are limits on who can go where and do various things. One has to be tonsured (will explain that in a minute) as an altar server (and/or reader) to enter the altar area and even then you are generally supposed to have the blessing of the priest to do so. You are also not allowed to touch items on the altar proper unless instructed to do so by the Priest. Really, only the Deacon and the Priest can touch or handle items on the altar. That includes any candles or lampada on the altar.

Tonsuring is a special ceremony that is only done by Bishops, Metropolitans, or the Patriarch of the Church. Rather than shaving a head, it involves cutting hairs from different parts of the head and burning them in a censure (incense burner) during a special ceremony/service. There are different levels of tonsure that apply to one’s duties. For example, I am a Chanter and as such I sing in the choir and can read certain prayers, Psalms, and Old Testament readings. To read from certain portions of the New Testament and other prayers, I would have to be tonsured as a reader. To be an altar server and help with the services I would need to be tonsured as an altar server. To read from the Gospel proper, one really needs to be a Deacon or Priest (in most Orthodox Churches, my understanding is that Sub-Deacons can’t read the Gospel). To be moved up and trained takes time (you have to do previous level for various periods) and the approval/direction of the Priest and then earn the blessing of the Bishop (or higher).

Now, to bring this back home, a Sanctuary usually has a number of lampada and candles. This is on top of any lampada and candles on the altar or in the altar area. In our Church, we have ten prayer candle stands with lampadas, service candles, and at least one hanging lampada that are my responsibility. What I am doing is taking care of such in our Sanctuary, which frees the Deacon up for other things and for him to take care of those in the altar area.

It’s not rocket science but it is a bit more than some may realize. I have to prepare wicks for the lampada which takes time. In fact, one of my goals this week is to make about a dozen wicks and have them ready for use. These have to fit into the floating holders in the lamp, and threading them into same can be a bit of a challenge. Part of what I do in making the wicks is ensuring that they can be easily worked into those floating holders.

Of those with wicks already in place, you have to raise up the wick with special tweezers, trim them with a special trimmer, and then adjust things so that you have roughly the same-size flame in each lamp. Since it seems each floating holder is different, you can’t just count on having the wick set to a uniform height. I’m actually OC enough I measure the flame on each lamp to ensure they are all close to the same height.

One also, of course, has to fill the lamps to a uniform depth with olive oil, make sure there are no spills, things are clean, etc. Nor can you just take a paper towel and toss it afterwards as trimmings, wicks, bits of wick, spilled oil and such have to be put into a Holy Burn Bag for proper disposal.

Then there is the fun joy of trying to fish prayer candle ends out of holders when they have burned down into the holder. Before I got to be the person fishing them out, I used to be a lot more willing to let candles burn down low. Not so much anymore. Thing is, certain sized candles are almost impossible to get out, necessitating taking the stand apart, putting the part with the candle holders into an oven, and melting the beeswax out. I’ve gotten fairly good at getting enough wax out using an old pair of hemostats such that we can keep using the stand without having to do that. I mean, we do it twice a year as part of cleaning and polishing, but it is nice not to have to do it more than that.

Service candles can be fun since they are in glass holders. There are a few tricks to making them easy to get out; but, they don’t always work. One is to put some water in the bottom of the holder. Get it right and when a votive or other such candle burns down, it is easy to get that base out. Get it wrong and either the candle will suck up the water and stop burning, or when not enough water is in the holder you have to scrape it out (or melt it out). Trying to work out a recalcitrant candle is also fun in that using the standard tool (a screwdriver) you can break the glass holder and cut yourself. I’ve avoided it so far and would like to continue that.

There is an order to the lighting of the different lamps and candles; and, while there is supposed to be an order for putting them out, enthusiastic volunteers generally make that a moot point. For me, I also do a number of prayers and venerations as I go. One of the more interesting things I’ve found is that I am learning more about some of the saints as I go. I recently found myself drawn to St. Gabriel of Georgia, got curious, and started learning more about him. Neat thing is, he is recent so there are some photos and such of him. The saints are supposed to challenge us, and some do pose quite the challenge to live up to what they did, and did over time.

I also take care of some more mundane things, like being sure our wireless microphone has fresh batteries off the charger. I do some minor maintenance, make sure other things are cut on/off, tissues are out, etc. I also ensure the front doors are open at the proper time and that various things are secure.

Once I’ve done all this and gotten everything lit, I switch to being a Chanter and depending on the service (vespers, matins, etc.) I may be pulling things together so we have what we need for the service. My Deacon is working to teach me how to pull vespers and matins from scratch as it were, which involves about eight different books. Give me a year or ten and I will get there. I’m also working with our Priest on something similar, which is helping to pull together the handouts for Saturday vespers and matins.

Which is why I started a class on liturgics today (Monday) at a seminary. If things go well with this course, and with my journey of Faith, I could end up attending that seminary in person for a degree and certificate. The path I am on can lead to several different destinations (church administration, monastic life, the Deaconate, and Priesthood are the main ones). We will see what happens, as the destination is not up to me.

Right now, I’m exhausted as the last few weeks have seen the Nativity [Jan. 7 as we are old (Julian) calendar] running though to Theophany. I’ve lost track of the number of services this last week but can tell you that yesterday (Sunday) was a marathon of around 14 hours for me. Started with liturgy at the usual time, then a special service to bless the waters (inside) and consecrate/create Holy Water for the year (we can make more later at need, which is good given that our Church is growing and I doubt we have enough). A fun thing we do as part of this is at the end: everyone, everything, and everywhere gets sprinkled/blessed with the new Holy Water: from the attic to the basement and everywhere and everything in between gets it. We all line up to be blessed in a similar manner. It is a time of laughter and joy along with the Grace and Blessing of the Lord. After a short break, we then did about a two hour special service preparing for this morning’s service.

The ice altar was made by a parishioner at the Serbian Church out of ice cut from the river. Photo provided by a friend.

That service as a joint service at the local Serbian Orthodox Church (we are part of the Bulgarian Orthodox Church and the difference between Orthodox Churches is primarily the language as the same basic liturgy, written in the 400s, is used in all; and, I would mention that in the U.S. many/most Orthodox Churches are using English as the primary language). We did an indoor liturgy (a liturgy is a service where the Eucharist is partaken), and then went down to the White River and did an outdoor blessing of the waters. As typical for such, this may have been the coldest day of the year so far. At least ,unlike last year, the ramp into the river wasn’t coated with slick ice. It was 9 degrees however, with a stiff wind. Chattering teeth were almost as loud as the singing as we did the service. And, at the end, we were once again blessed with the holy water which froze as it went through the air or hit our clothing. It was fun, but I was glad for hot soup and hot coffee afterwards.

Yes, it was a multi-page service with a fair bit of singing and chanting. Photo courtesy of a friend.

One thing I should mention is that after a liturgy there generally is a meal. Since we fast from food and drink for 8-12 hours beforehand (NOTE: I think 6 hours is the minimum, but for a Sunday liturgy many stop after dinner so you end up going 8-12 hours), so we are properly prepared for the Eucharist, we have a community meal (usually a pitch-in) after the service. I admit that the first thing I go for is coffee, as food or anything else can wait as I am craving the Water of Wakefulness at that point.

The Serbian Church is growing to the point they are having to build a new Church. Ours is growing also, and that seems to be a trend nationwide.

So, that’s a bit of why I haven’t been online much the last week. I’m also thankful that there was nothing I HAD to do for the class today, or at least nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow as my brain is fried at this point. I am going to relax, find some cute animal videos, and rest up so I can hit the ground running tomorrow morning on my classwork.

A Fun Seminary Class

I can’t remember if I mentioned this before (and am too lazy to look), but I’m taking an online class called “Cosmic Nativity.” I was tipped to it by my Priest, and while not in the budget am very much enjoying it.

It’s just a fun class, and not from the Seminary where I will be studying online next year. It looks at this time of year, the Nativity, and more through the lens of C.S. Lewis’s A Christmas Sermon For Pagans and Tolkien’s The Father Christmas Letters, with some Chesterton and others thrown in. Nevermind that it is a delight to read, or reread-for-the-first-time (stupid lightning), excellent writings by some of my favorite authors, it also helps put a different focus and perspective on the season.

Among some of the fun discussions are those on the date for Christmas and how the early Church made the choice it did. Hate to bust any bubbles, but it had nothing to do with pagan traditions far north that the Disciples and Apostolic Fathers may never have heard of. A lot of it boils down to debates on when Jesus was conceived within Mary, with the date of birth being either December 25 or January 7 depending on which day (and calendar) you choose.

If you are traditional Orthodox, you pretty well have the spread covered. Most of the world celebrates December 25, while if you follow the old calendar it puts the date on January 7 according to the current calendar. I see it as an opportunity to spend the 25th on some of the secular things and family/friends, while the 7th is the day we celebrate the spiritual. I’m sure there are those who will quibble with that, but it works for myself and a number of others.

I disliked (a lot) having to add Zoom to my computer, but it has been worth it. I’ve got some backgrounds from my Church in place, along with one from Babylon 5 as one of the other participants uses the Bridge of TNG Star Trek as his background (challenge accepted!).

Hope to share more from the course here soon. For all that it is lighthearted in some respects, there is a LOT of good food for thought in the mix. For all that Lewis’s Sermon is short, it is dense with information and thought. Seems to be true for all the things we are reading and discussing. More on this soon I hope.

Seminary Studies

Well, I think I alluded to it here, but it is now official: I’ve been accepted as a non-degree student (HCHC Open Learning program) at Hellenic College Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology. What this means is that I am going to be taking some online courses from them in the next year plus. During that time, based on discernment and growth, I have the option to apply for degree or certificate programs.

This is a very different path for me, and it is one that has several possible destinations. For me, simply walking the path is a start towards something I feel drawn towards. Ever since I got up after the lightning strike, I’ve felt drawn towards a new path. I’m simply happy to be walking it, and am very happy to leave the destination to the Lord. I know that I will be guided towards that which is right, be it some form of monastic life, academic or administrative work, the Deaconate, or Clergy. I am content to let the destination be revealed in due time.

If anyone cares to hit the tip jar, it would be very much appreciated. Right now, there is not a lot of financial aid available, and I need to start paying fees and such ASAP as I have a $200 payment that has to be made now. My goal is to take at least one course starting in January, preferably two, and each course is $1,500.00. Any and all help is appreciated, especially as I still need (more than ever) to do my pilgrimage next year for spiritual growth and discernment. See the link above for more details.

I’m still going to be here, still offering pithy takes on things of interest, noting the struggle against the godless authority, and more. That said, I also plan to share some of what I learn in the process of walking this new path.

So, please do feel free to hit the tip jar above (upper right corner). Also, please do feel free to offer prayers for me. I need them.

Thank you all, particularly my regular readers. It has been an interesting time these last few years, and it does give an additional twist to my starting a new life. Not at all what I expected when I first thought a new life would be moving out West. The journey now continues but towards a truly new life. I hope you will continue to check in and share a bit of that journey in the days ahead.

A Happy And Blessed Thanksgiving!

As with most years, there is so much for which to be thankful this year. With so much negative, and even evil, tidings going around it is far too easy to get sucked into a negative mindset and viewpoint. I’m sure the evil one delights in it; but, life is much better for us with a positive focus. Rather than looking at the world, take a moment to look at the small picture that is yourself.

For me, I would start with my health. On top of long-term chronic conditions, getting hit by lightning four-plus years ago wasn’t exactly helpful in a number of respects. Heck, between what hit directly and what came in through inductance, I effectively lit up like the element on an electric stove. Seems like it was just a couple of years ago we were looking at yet more heart surgery.

Instead, after my baptism, the damage done to my heart healed completely. Doesn’t mean I can’t and won’t have future heart problems, just that the damage done by the lightning has healed. Along the way, we may have fixed some other issues that might have been building. Tests this year show things continuing to tick along nicely (all puns intended) and that I’m good to getting back to good workouts at the gym. Need to get my lazy rump back to such…

This year, my mobility has improved rather dramatically. I got around, but my right shoe shows a lot of damage from not being lifted and placed correctly; and, I found it easy to get down but not so easy to get back up. The “new” neurologist worked with me to get the physical therapy I should have had about four years ago (right after I was hit), and despite some payment issues (always appeal claim denials!), the physical therapy got me to the point I can now run with it on my own (figuratively speaking).

On top of that, I was introduced to a wonderful massage therapist by a friend at Church. Before taking me on, she researched lightning strikes and massage/therapy related to same. One of the more interesting things she found is that the fascia (which surrounds muscles, blood vessels, etc.) can and does harden from the shock. While it has not been pleasant, she has broken a lot of that up by her work. Net result is that on top of the physical therapy, I’m moving my legs and feet in ways I’ve not been able to for four years. All of which is helping me start getting back into the shape I want to be in.

There are some digestive issues that have popped up since the lightning strike. Not surprising in many respects, but we’ve been able to dial in some simple changes to my diet and routine that limit the impact. We are working to take my diet a bit more towards Mediterranean now, but this year has seen a good bit of improvement. While the accidental verification this year that I am one of the growing number of people who have problems with garbanzo beans (like trip to the hospital level problems) was not fun, it is good to know and has helped cut down some problems.

While I technically went on disability last December, a lot of things didn’t really kick in until this spring. It is nice to have a steady income and resources, for all that it is not lucrative. It gets me by and with help from you and from friends, I not only get by but also can pursue a few opportunities for growth.

One such is the religious pilgrimage I will be taking next year. This is a trip for spiritual growth and discernment that will take me from our “home” church to Mount Athos in Greece, allowing me to learn more about my faith, experience different and important traditions, and grow both spiritually and as a person. It will build on some of the things I do at my Church, such as being a Chanter and helping with preparations for services.

Another such is the recent opportunity to apply for online learning at a seminary. While that is an ongoing process, if it is approved, I will have the chance to take a course (or courses depending on financial assistance) to verify that I am up to that level of work and learning (the tests say yes, I seek practical validation via real-life data). This not only will apply to those courses, but to any potential formal study at a seminary.

I’ve also been blessed with the gift of a car. It may not be much to look at, but it runs, seems to be mechanically solid, and it has already been a blessing. It lets me get to and from Church much more easily and despite weather; it has let me run errands related to the Church and activities there; and, it has made grocery shopping much, much easier. Even with insurance, fuel, and such, right now it is saving me money as I am not using Lyft to do these things. I’m grateful for Lyft and what it let me do this last year, but I’m also quite grateful not to be dependent upon it.

I also enjoy and appreciate the blessing that is you, my readers. Some of you have been reading me for years, either here or at Blackfive. Some of you are newer. All of you are appreciated, and your comments, suggestions, and critiques help make this blog, and make it a home for rational discourse and discussion. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.

On top of that, regular and other readers have hit the tip jar (upper right for those new here) and made gifts, given gifts through the Amazon Wish List, etc. Those, along with the prayers offered, are very much appreciated as well.

There is more, much more, for which I am thankful this year. However, this gives both me, and you my wonderful readers, a place to start for further Thanksgiving. Don’t just take a moment, take time throughout the day to give thanks for the wonder and bounty within it (even for annoying friends and relatives) for it all makes our lives richer and fuller.

For me, I will close with thanks that I am alive and capable of starting to walk a very new path. I know not where it leads, but I am content with that as the preliminary destination is not up to me. That is up to another, and I am thankful to have this opportunity.

Thank you all for making this last year a wonderful and blessed time. We don’t always appreciate it as it is happening, and it can be hard to see at times; but, it all happens for the good.

May your day be Blessed and full of thanks at the bounty in our lives. Remember that while we enjoy the bounty of food and plenty, that the true bounty are the people in our lives and the Grace that surrounds us. May your day be bright and warm with both.