This morning, I could have slept in and frankly I PLANNED to sleep in. For some reason, however, I activated the alarm so at 0345 my day began. I wasn’t feeling great, so got online and started to read. That was in some ways a mistake.
Someone I know, an author, who has been one of the stalwarts of not being stupid and avoiding flipping the switch, had his personal switch thrown by the assassination of Charlie Kirk. He’s all in on civil war, and there are some of his points with which I do have to agree. However, I think we can and should still avoid such. I much prefer the person who argued for a few waves of civil purges instead of civil war. It would be much better for us and for the future.
For all that the author’s posts made my heart heavy, it finished clarifying some things on which I had been thinking and had already disturbed my sleep. As regular readers know, I’ve been looking at a change in my life, one that could set me on the path to several destinations, including ministry.
For those that know me, or even if you don’t really, it’s not a place where one such as me should be expected to go. Of the major and minor sins, I think the only one I haven’t punched is directly killing another. I’m not particularly proud of parts of my past, and for all I tried to be a good person and a man, didn’t quite get there. Then again, Jesus didn’t come here to save the perfect, but the sinners.
A few weeks ago, I started the process but this morning the decision was firmly made. It is a scary one to make, on several levels; yet, it was also an easy one to make in the end. I have no idea where the path I am starting leads, but I am content to walk it. Some things which had troubled me have fallen away, and I lay aside the sword I carried for man. I choose to pick up a different sword, and walk a path I know not. Nothing will happen quickly I suspect, as it a process where things happen over time. I am content with that.
If you are the praying type, please do pray for me and my soul. Where I end up on this journey is not up to me; but, wherever the path leads me I will be content. I think I’ve suspected this path was in my future from the moment I stood up after being hit by lightning. Still scary in many ways, but only if I look at the past, and not to the present and future that have been granted to me by the Light.
One day I may share more, but for now this is enough. To borrow from Tolkien, I lay aside the old sword, staff, and guardianship. I pick up the new.
“Daylight falls upon the path, the forest falls behind/ Today, I am not prey to dark uncertainty/ The Shadow trembles in his wrath, I’ve robbed his blackness blind/ And tasted sunlight, as my fear came clear to me./ Oh, I think I understand/ Fear is like a wilderland/ Stepping stones, or sinking sand.” Joni Mitchell
The Good Lord gave you all the tools, all the strength, all the clarity of soul required to conquer any wilderness you dare to pierce. You’ll do just fine. God Bless!
Thank you!
Thank you for posting this. I have been casting around for direction myself, really for the past two years. It has not been granted to me yet – though I have made a significant decision in the past few months, I don’t yet know what (if anything) will come of it. I am sure that as you follow your decision, further discernment will be granted. Best of luck to you.
Thank you, and may God guide you on your path as well.
A call to ministry is just that, a call from God to do His work. I explored the call 15 years ago, went to seminary, and graduated. I knew that at that time I was not called to be a pastor. Circumstances, commonsense, the leading of the Spirit, and other things all led me to this conclusion.
I’m still called. I serve. I’m a back-up pastor at my church. I do pastoral counseling. I love people placed in my path. I listen for the Lord to give me work.
Explore your call from God. Listen, discern. He will use you.
Thanks!