Over on X, this post sparked a memory that still makes me laugh. Not a nice laugh, and by many lights I should be ashamed of it. Yet, I still laugh. To quote from what I posted on X:
“Okay, this reminds me of a story from my past. Courtesy of a relative, I used to do some odd jobs for a local bank, which was part of a much larger bank (eventually). Which led to some odd things needing to be done.
One odd thing was hauling off a few tons of confidential records to a local landfill, where a bulldozer may have made a few passes and neutral steers over the many many garbage bags full of files (to let water and such into them before they were covered) as I watched.
Another was cleaning out a storage room (technically an old vault) at a major branch. Which led to me being given an old vault gate that I eventually sold for scrap. Along with a whole bunch of old medical gear from a doctor’s office. Suspect the elegant wood and glass blood pressure set-up would be classified as hazmat today (mercury spilled into the wood).
It was around that time that someone tried to rob said branch. The worthy in question came in, got a bag of money, and stuffed it down his pants as he ran out the door. About the time he rounded the corner of the building, there was a muffled explosion and a high-pitched scream.
The bank alerted the police, who alerted local hospitals; but, the thief never came in for treatment. The bank did not recover the money (not a huge amount by any means), but they unofficially considered it even as there was reason to believe that the thief had lost most or all of the physical attributes of manhood.
The explosive part of a dye bomb isn’t large, but it is highly exothermal. What didn’t get blown off was likely to have been severely burned, and without proper treatment…
While no official statement was ever made, word did get around. For years afterwards, that was one of the safest branches around. So, for all those contemplating mayhem, remember: it doesn’t take @DollyParton with a gun to turn a rooster into a hen.”
Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, and to start a truly new life, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. If you want to know some of what it is going for, read here. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.