What A Week!

Last week, I had volunteered to help with food for a national conference being held at our Church. Officially, I signed up for one three or so hour shift I think. Unofficially, I had already talked with the Chef in charge of all the food for the event, and pretty much signed a blank check. Yes, my mind does still think I’m 20, why do you ask? <smile>

Some of you have figured out a good bit about my Church, but I try to keep them out of the line of fire. Short description of what went on is this: An open annual meeting was hosted by my Church that is in practice national but open to all Churches in our denomination that fall within our diocese. Our diocese covers the United States, Canada, and Australia (!), and apparently a couple of other odd countries. Have sort of gotten the feeling that when they don’t know where to put the Churches in a country, they stick them in our diocese while they figure things out. So, while all of the Churches in these countries can take part, it really comes down to it being the Churches in the U.S. Sometimes there is participation by Canadian Churches, but even that is rare I am told.

Now, the conference is more focused on nuts-and-bolts of operations, though there is some discussion of theology and theological considerations. As a result, the — call him Archbishop though he has a different title — over the diocese (that is all the Churches in the U.S., Canada, Australia, etc.) attends. From a religious perspective, this is — of course — a big deal. Those that have met him before told me a lot of good things about him, but for those that are Roman Catholic or understand their system, you are talking effectively a Cardinal. I had hoped I might get to meet him at a service, maybe get a blessing as part of such, but really didn’t expect more than that. More on that in a bit.

The Chef (and I use the initial cap VERY deliberately) who was in charge of the food is amazing. I’ve met her briefly before, and the short version is that upon coming to America she got a job as a dishwasher at a higher-end establishment, quickly got promoted to cook, and I understand she owned her own restaurant for a while. In short, she knows what she is doing, how she wants things done, and while she may have a small penchant for micromanagement, she’s earned it. I have no objection to being told ‘cut this way and to this size’ and in fact I like it when I am working for someone else if I know EXACTLY what they want and how they want it. Makes life much easier.

Now, it wasn’t one meal. It was an introductory supper; breakfast/brunch, lunch, dinner; breakfast, lunch, (dinner catered as it was also a dance/celebration held elsewhere); then, brunch/lunch. For those who have done restaurant or food service work, it was effectively cooked to order. For those who don’t know what that means, here’s a quick breakdown.

We started food preparation on Wednesday. While some things were bought commercial and pre-made (desserts, chips, etc.), everything else was prepared from scratch. What this really means is that the clock started ticking Wednesday and it is a very complex clock. Some of what I did Wednesday was to prepare ingredients or to prepare to create ingredients that would be needed on Sunday for the final meal. It is a complex process to ensure everything comes together at the right time so that the final products come out at the right time, at the right temperature, and in the right condition for each meal.

Now, to add to the fun, each meal had a different number of people signed up for it. We also had to take into account that there were fasting requirements in place. My Church takes fasting rather seriously, in that during the average week there are two fasting days where depending on circumstances you can’t use meat; you may or may not be able to use oil or wine; and, there may be other restrictions. Also, some of the monastic orders have dietary restrictions on members. So, the whole menu has to be planned around this.

One example. The opening day was an open day, so anything went. The next day was a fasting day with no meat, no dairy, and some minor considerations. We did a salad on the first day native to the home country of the Archbishop, which included a special cheese. Great in that respect (and he was quite happy at seeing it); but, it could not be used in any way on the second day. The Chef did an outstanding job of threading the menu needle with the planned dishes. She also did an AMAZING job of timing things out so that every dish was on the table at the right temp and right condition at precisely the right time.

Which of course meant that almost immediately we got the dreaded ‘can you do this 30 minutes earlier/hour later’ well after the clock had started in earnest on that meal. Unless you have worked food service or cooked professionally, you don’t know what a big hairy warty deal that is, or how much it sucketh more mightily than an 10-to-the-negative-16th TOR vacuum. The clock on that meal starts 8 or more hours before that meal. When you have multiple dishes (and most meals literally have six to 10 dishes/components), you are talking a very complex operation. A good Chef can handle 5-15 minutes even if it is a major pain in the patuchas. Beyond that, only the really good ones can handle it and not at the very last minute. You get much beyond 30, well in advance, and most are going to laugh at you. Thirty minutes, we handled, though the “customer” didn’t have a clue how much work that entailed. When you have a good team, the customer only sees the result, not the massive amount of extra work and sweat. We had a good team.

Now, we did have to change a couple of things on the fly to accommodate both changes and issues. The latter is expected, and you account for it in planning. An ingredient may not be available, a product not delivered on time, etc. Changes are a major, major, pain.

*****

Which leads me to something I want to say to everyone: When you do something like this, and they ask on the flippin registration form if you have dietary issues (for any reason), tell them. If you are going out to eat and have special requirements, call ahead and ask/notify. Please, for the love of all, do not wander up and demand/ask people to stop setting up the meal service to tell you what dishes do/don’t have X in them. If you are massively allergic to dairy, shellfish/iodine (my issue), or peanuts, or whatever TELL THEM AS FAR AHEAD OF TIME AS POSSIBLE.

When you don’t, and we have used prepared ingredients, say a store-bought sausage we did not make ourselves, when you wander up at the last minute we then have to dig through the garbage can (and/or the dumpster, potentially) to find the package and check. This is a bit of a disruption to getting the meal out on time as you then have to have everyone not only stop to try to find every ingredient label from everything used all freakin day, then clean up, sterilize areas, and wash up and sterilize ourselves, and well, if you don’t get it, it is a major pain in the rump and a MAJOR legal liability for those doing the food. In short, if we can’t find all the labels the default (legal and the court of public opinion) is that we have to tell you that a given dish has to be considered as having dairy/shellfish/nut/etc. in it as we can’t prove it DOESN’T. And, no, having just cooked food for 50 to 200 people, we can’t just whip up dishes to accommodate your needs in five minutes. Even if we have the staff, you are talking 30 or more minutes to send someone to the store and hope it has products that meet your specific requirements, prep time, cooking time, and serving time. TELL THE PEOPLE AHEAD OF TIME ESPECIALLY IF THEY FLIPPIN ASK YOU!!! If they ask and you wander up at the last minute, you are either seeking attention or are an idiot. DON’T BE THAT CUSTOMER!!!

Also, if it is not from a medical issue, don’t be that customer who goes into a barbecue joint and demands a vegan option. That’s just being something I’m not supposed to call people these days, and frankly if you do it you get what you deserve. Choices are not medical issues. If you have a medical issue, you should know to check ahead. If it’s not a medical issue, don’t be a jerk. Period. No, we did not have any of those, thank goodness. We did have a couple of people that should have notified us ahead of time on the registration form when asked. We could have at least has signage out saying that X dish was dairy/nut/shellfish/etc. free. Signage is easy. Scrambling at the last minute is not. Be considerate. Also, just a reminder, ask early rather than trying to stop service to get an answer. Again, be considerate.

*****

Oh, and a few extra people showing up usually isn’t an issue. More than seven or so gets to be a problem, but a few is okay. If a few don’t show up, well, your food staff is usually appreciative as it means they get to eat. (smile)

In our case, everything went relatively smoothly. Some changes, some timing changes, etc. Nothing too far out of the park. Which was good as we were usually starting full prep on the next meal before the guests were finished with the one being served. Again (and again) the Chef in charge ran the operation like a restaurant and I really appreciated and enjoyed that. Lots of good reminders.

Also, some good lessons. Her method of cutting/preparing fresh pineapple was much better than what I had been taught. Quicker and less waste. Picked up a few other new takes on how to do things. I’m not as fast as I used to be with some of the prep, but can still get the job done.

I did have a bit of a (pleasant) shock the first day when setting up the food table for the first dinner. A gentleman in robes wandered up and was admiring the table, we chatted a small bit, and I froze as I realized I was talking with the Archbishop and had not been briefed on protocol. I think it amused him that I froze up for a moment, but he just went on and made a couple of nice comments on how good everything looked. I then dove back into preparation and he got ready to eat. Had the impression, and heard from others later, he was very happy to see the salad from his home country on the table, and apparently enjoyed it very much. I did get a more formal blessing later, and he was kind enough to describe the food as “manna” and was quite happy with all the meals from what I could find out. Came away with the impression of a laid-back and even humble man, though he was quite emphatic in the areas that truly counted.

So, it was a week of long (very) days. I’m still exhausted and could tell it both walking to/from the guitar lessons and even with the lesson this morning. Other than this, trying to take the day off and recover a bit. Might have even had a glass of wine. Going to cook up something quick and easy for supper soon. If the weather was nicer, would walk back down to the taco truck, but the weather isn’t nice and the walk to the guitar lesson was a PITA from the humidity and from having to push things because of weather. Really glad I didn’t do anything in the kitchen yesterday as I attended Matins then Liturgy. Was so tired, and voice was off, so made no attempt to sing in the choir/chorus. Besides, let me focus on the services, which were unusual as we had more than 20 priests and deacons (40+???) taking part in addition to the Archbishop. When they sang or chanted in chorus, wow! I did get asked to hold a large bowl of blessed bread at the end of service, which I did as it was just standing there holding a large bowl. Easy.

Because I was in the kitchen so much, didn’t get to mingle and meet quite as much as I would have liked. That said, did get to meet a few new people and was amused at one young man who saw my hat (straw Panama) and thought I looked like an archeologist, which is what he wants to be. Have some invitations to attend other Churches around the U.S., and who knows, I may take some of them up on that one day. Wish I could have met more/spent a bit more time with the crowd, but had a great time in the kitchen. Kitchen is home in many ways.

So, while I’m sorry I didn’t post a whole lot since last Tuesday, I was a touch busy. Today will be a bit of a let-down food-wise, but that may be for the best.

I hope you all had a good weekend, and there is more to come.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, which include moving once we have medical issues cleared up, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.