Sorting

This morning finds me still sorting and sifting through a number of thoughts and emotions. I’m trying to get a handle on life, figure out where I need to be and go, and get things on as even a keel as I can in this unsettled world. I’ve been praying, and even have some Friars praying for me, that I be guided to what I should be doing, where I should be doing it, and the means to make both happen are provided.

On top of this, and a great deal of economic uncertainty, I spent part of yesterday at the visitation for a former supervisor/manager. He was not a great manager, but far from the worst at that concern. We weren’t friends or particularly close, but got along. He seemed to be a nice man who also tried to be a good man. We both ended up leaving that concern, and I met him a few years back when he was at a very different job. Glad we did, even though neither of us had a lot of time.

Covid and the hysteria brought more changes to his life, and he took to delivering pizzas. Couple of weeks ago he caught a delivery that proved to be to an abandoned house, where he was shot dead. He wasn’t robbed. The pizza and car were taken, but both left not all that far away. Senseless does not begin to describe it. This comes on top of a person/creature from Indy who drove down to Greenwood on the southside, pulled into the parking lot for a popular restaurant/bar, and waited for someone to come out alone so they could kill them just for the thrill. Just to do it.

Indianapolis is no longer the city I knew. I really don’t even like to go downtown during the day, and will not go at night anymore. Monument Circle is owned by the homeless/mentally ill, and the rampant violence has spread to pretty much every neighborhood in the city, and beyond. It’s spreading out into the surrounding communities. Right now, we are on track to set records yet again with homicides and other crimes, and have more murders per capita than Chicago.

I really want to move to the Southwest; but, given that something comes up every time I try, it appears that such a move or the timing of such a move are not what God has planned. I’m looking at options, though I need to remain in Indiana while disability and some other things are in process. That said, wish I could find another month-to-month situation (at the same rent!!!) in a location removed from Indy and the ring counties. Winning the lottery would be nice too, wouldn’t it?

So, a bit pensive as I contemplate mortality, morality, and the collapse of society. I fear for the cities this summer, and really hope that I’m away from here by then as I think it could be another summer of love fire. Hoping to take a walk in a bit, then maybe go do something fun to shake the mood. We will see.

Make the most of your Saturday and seize the joy and beauty within. May your Sunday be blessed as well.