January 2023 – Page 2 – The Laughing Wolf

The Fall Will Be Broadcast

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, which include moving to the SW, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

This is the third, and last planned, bit of commentary on the shooting in Texas. The first post is here, and the follow-up is here. Many of you have commented about the video in the various posts, and it is a point that needs some discussion.

The ubiquitousness of video is a remarkable thing. On one level, it represents the strides made in video and recording technology over the years. I still remember getting trained in video recording, editing, and production in 1976 at the Boy Scout World Jamboree. The cameras were large, the editing suite large, and the quality was so-so by today’s standards. Back then, it was revolutionary.

Today, the Contour camera I bought to mount to my helmet a few years back is tiny in comparison to those early cameras, and still is huge in comparison to some of the high-res cameras you can buy on the cheap. Oh, and that huge editing suite? Everything it did and more can now be done on a laptop. The reels of video tape (and later video cassettes) are now a small chip.

The doorbell camera my landlord has may not be as high-res as some, but it is surprisingly good for the size. From wherever we are, we can check to see who or what set off the camera, and if the mail has been delivered yet.

It is more unusual these days for a house not to have something like that, or even more than one, for security purposes. Businesses have cameras inside and out for security, so that when something happens there is a record of it and a means for the police to track down the perpetrators. Add to that cameras that are in place at shopping centers, set-up by LE, and a surprising amount of your life is on video. They don’t even have to hide the cameras in fake power pole transformers and such anymore.

And it’s not just the large cities. It is widespread everywhere, from urban New York to rural Iowa. Part of the idea was to let people keep an eye on things no matter where they were, and to have a record of events if needed. Part was to have a record that could be shared with LE and prosecutors at need, to help ensure justice when and if something happened.

Many are starting to re-think things. First, in many areas of the country you have a new breed of prosecutor who is soft on crime and is far more lenient on perps than on victims. Ones who have already indicated they will go after those who fight back rather than the perp. Second, you have them and others who will abuse those video records to harass or otherwise abuse the innocent. To stalk people for reasons personal and political.

As a number of people have pointed out in the comments, what would have happened if there had been no video being shot at the restaurant? Nothing that would have caught the act, the shooter’s vehicle, or other things that would have helped LE track him down. You would have just had the witness statements about the tall/short caucasian/other thin/fat etc. etc. etc. that are witness statements. Could he still have been tracked down? Yes, but it would have been a LOT harder to do. Would that effort have been made with just a dead career violent criminal who hit the FAFO jackpot? Good question.

I may have heard a rumor about a business that suffered a mysterious glitch in their very good video system a while back. One that just happened to not catch an incident that may not have happened that could have caused a good person some trouble. In fact, I may have heard of more than one. Frankly, as things head south, I expect to hear a lot more rumors and stories like that.

Also, what incentive will there be for people to cooperate with LE and prosecutors if the perps are going to be out again in a few hours at most, and anyone who stood up to them being investigated or harassed? Worse yet, identified in the news so the perp can easily learn their name and all about them for their own actions?

I think we are going to start seeing a large lack of cooperation on the part of the public, and not just in the jurisdictions that have soft-on-crime prosecutors and/or ineffective governance at all levels. What happens there will have people in good areas questioning the desirability to cooperate with their own LE and prosecutors. Do I think it will get to the point people are disabling or hiding their video systems? I think we are already there.

As for the comment about 500-yard shots not being on video, think again. Right now, from the time I leave my front door, my travels are on video with surprisingly few gaps. There are doorbell cameras, security cameras, traffic cameras, and it wouldn’t surprise me to find out the Rodent Liberation Front has cameras set up as well. If you think that LE can’t trace back where a shot came from, and there won’t be video of traffic in that area, much less of people walking around, think again.

There are good odds that unless someone takes active steps there will be. Once you leave that bubble of active steps, well, someone may wonder why you were in that area and what you were carrying. Oh, and don’t forget that most large cities (and quite a few others) have systems for detecting and localizing the sounds of gunshots. Is it possible to avoid or spoof some or all of it? Yes. Easy? Depends.

Far more of our daily lives is on video that we realize. Between video, tracking of cell phone and social media usage, and other ways we can and are tracked, someone determined can learn a lot and even cause us lots of problems.

I don’t think we’ve hit peak video yet; but, I do think we’ve already entered the era of selective video. One where individuals, businesses, and other entities are not going to be as quick to share video with anyone, especially LE and prosecutors, as they were even last year. Given all that’s happened in about the last three years, I expect to see this trend grow. As such, I can’t blame anyone who elects for selective sharing.

Texas Follow-Up

My original analysis of the now-famous shooting of a robber out in Texas got a lot of good comments. Out of 30, there was only one Cherrystone (someone with lesser intellectual function than a Cherrystone clam and the reading comprehension of a fruit fly). There are a number of things I think we need to cover in regards this story.

First, if you are involved in a self-defense/defense of others shooting (heck, even if you just have draw a weapon), call a lawyer immediately. Get a good one. Never met the man in person, but have Guy Relford’s number programmed into my phone just in case. I also have a different lawyer in for the same thing, as a backup, in case Guy’s on vacation. If at all possible, wait to speak to the police until your lawyer is physically present. Be nice, be polite, but wait for the lawyer and only say anything after talking with the lawyer. If the lawyer gives you advice, follow it. Overall, the less you say to LE, to the media, or on social media, the better.

It sounds as if the shooter in Texas did just that. He got a lawyer, and has let the lawyer do as much of the talking with police as possible. Smart. Very smart. Net result is that I think that if he is indicted, he’s got a good chance at winning in court. Given something that was pointed out in another venue about that final shot, think he’s got a very good chance. Grand juries can be rigged to indict a ham sandwich; but, I’m wondering if they will indict for several reasons. Not only is this case a political hot potato that voters are following closely, but voters and non-voters are also getting tired of soft-on-crime prosecutors.

Which brings up a point that several of the commenters to the original post discussed, which is what does this mean for the future? One of the prime functions of the justice system is not to prevent crimes or predict them. Rather, it is to moderate public response so as to protect the public from itself. History is full of horrific punishments for what many would consider minor crimes. If you read the founding fathers, one of the things they wanted to ensure was a just system that avoided cruel and unusual punishments by the government and by the people.

They were well aware of the mob mentality, and did as much as they could to try to limit it via swift, impartial, and even-handed justice. Justice delayed is justice denied is a truism they knew well. They also had first-hand experience with a two (or more) tiered justice system and capricious sentencing. There is a reason that mob “justice” in the U.S. stands out; namely, while any such is to be condemned, we have had surprisingly little of it when compared to other countries and to history.

Which brings us to today. Swift justice? Tis a joke. Impartial? Not hardly, as we see a lot of rules for thee, not for me in courts and elsewhere. Even-handed? Eh, not so much. There are literally thousands of possible citations to prove those points, sad to say. The public has noticed, and again is not happy.

What happens now? I think there is a growing probability (not possibility) that we are going to see “justice” dispensed at the street level. When people are scared, do not feel safe anywhere, and have no faith in the system, they tend to take things into their own hands when they can. After all, if they know the person who just threatened them is going to be out in an hour or two after the prosecutor cuts a sweetheart deal with them, why take the risk?

That this will drive down crime for a while is a given. Looking at history, it also is going to cause the violence associated with crime to ramp up as well.

It is also likely to destroy our justice system as it currently exists. Prosecutors, who are often dug into their positions like a tick despite being on a ballot, are going to respond one of three ways, really only two as the third option requires unicorns and fairy godmothers.

They can look at reality, admit they were wrong, and change their ways and go back to something closer to real justice. And the fairy godmother will then wave her wand and give me a horse too.

From a historical perspective, the most likely response will be to double-down on what they are doing, and crack down on those defending themselves. The real bad guys will continue the revolving door treatment, while those who dared defend themselves will feel the full weight of the law and the ire of a prosecutor who takes it personally. Trust me, they will. Any criticism, or worse yet action, that calls into question what is being done will be taken personally by any politician, so expect to see mayors and others going along with such actions. Yes, I am cynical when it comes to politicians.

The final option is that they realize they are in an untenable position, and reluctantly, with much dragging of feet and wailing and gnashing of teeth, move reluctantly away from being soft on crime. They will also have the sense not to vindictively prosecute those who act in self-defense/defense of others.

That’s the truly critical point in all of this. If they go after those daring to defend themselves and others, it will destroy what little respect and faith people may still have in the justice system, as well as the larger political system of which it is a part. It is also quite likely to bring about a true mob response, because the public is not going to put up with such prosecutions. There is already a lack of faith in the ballot box as a solution, and if any politician is stupid enough to think that people will just sit and take it while their families are being threatened and killed, they are mistaken.

I do NOT want to see us get to that point. There are people out there on all sides pushing for violence and a ‘new civil war’ and they are idiots. Quite a few of them seem to think it will be exciting, and that none of it will touch them or theirs. Here’s a clue: look at history and even current events around the world. There will be no true safe place. That is not a world we want.

What can we do? I hate to say it, but not much. Local elections matter, so get active and get involved. Push hard for real election integrity to try to build back some of the trust that is gone. Other than that, our best options are prayer and preparedness. And to move away from cities/areas with those soft-on-crime prosecutors. Not ideal maybe, but if you love and want to protect your family, it is the right thing to do.

UPDATE: Third and final(??) post on the shooting is here for your reading pleasure.

Random Thoughts

Probably not going to get much written here, on the novel (which continues to unfold in my dreams), or anywhere else. Instead, I have to check some things on the car (which is doing not-funny), and drive down to a doctor’s office to try and get a copy of some records. Having to go in person as I’ve been unable to get this done by phone or by their web site/portal.

I’ve also sought the assistance of one of my senators in regards the ongoing saga of trying to retire early. I have some paperwork I need to do and scan before heading out to the doctor’s office. Only hoping this moves faster than the SSA.

While I’m out, I’m hoping to pick up some supplements I’m out of thanks to your generosity. Actually going to hold back on groceries if needed to get that done. While I am not sure how much good a couple of the supplements really do, the current mix has gotten me some truly excellent results in terms of blood work, so I am cautious about changing things up.

Yes, it’s Friday the 13th. I prefer the Japanese take on it and am hoping for a day of good fortune. Meantime, plan for the worst, hope for the best, and take what comes. 🙂

Hope to do a follow-up post to the Texas shooting story tomorrow. May have to call it an Eastwood post as it needs to cover the good, the bad, and the ugly.

There was something else, but since I didn’t make a list for this post, well… If I remember it later, will add it in.

Meantime, be safe and have a great day!

On Reading Scientific Papers

Back many moons ago, when I taught some basic science courses for a small university (tempted to put that in quotes), I encouraged a certain amount of skepticism and critical thinking in my students via a fictional sensational news/marketing push/story. I can’t remember all of it (stupid lightning), but enough to lead into today’s post.

The push story was that anyone contracting a particular gum infection, “gumjooboo,” stood a 99 percent chance of dying from it. Thing was, there was a special toothbrush now for sale that while very expensive, was 99.9999 percent effective in preventing gumjooboo. I then walked the students through parsing and researching to show that gumjooboo only effected a small percentage of a particular tribe in one small area of the Amazon basin. This led into some discussions on probability, odds, etc. Also, a bit of discussion on interpreting scientific papers.

First, and I say this as a former (still commit a bit of it) science journalist and former member of the National Association of Science Writers, take any media story about scientific research with a tun of salt. You might be amazed at how often the media presentation is 180 degrees from what the study says or shows. Number of reasons for it, including lack of specialization, lack of experience, and even deliberate misrepresentation.

Specialized reporting is not what it used to be in the corporate media. Newspapers and television stations, much less networks, had dedicated science and medical reporters. You had people like Jon Van covering science at the Chicago Tribune. You had people like Jules Bergman at ABC covering aviation and space. These were people with years, decades, of experience. You don’t find that as much anymore in corporate media. Instead, you far too often find people right out of J-school tasked with covering various science and medical studies. Funny thing is, we saw that coming and Jon, the medical reporter at the Tribune, and I had a very interesting discussion on that subject many years back. Sadly, they were right in their predictions. New media is mixed, but there are some excellent science and medical reporters out there.

So, let’s take a quick look at how to read a scientific paper. In fact, let’s do so in part in the context of current events.

First, in what publication is it appearing? If Scientific American, make that several tuns of salt right at the start. I, personally, no longer trust anything they print. If it is a paper on astrophysics and it’s in a biology journal or the Journal of Irreproducible Results, that should be a red flag. If it’s a medical study and in a medical or biological journal, that’s a good start.

Next, you are going to have a title. The title should be even, maybe even boring, as “reputable” journals avoid sensationalism. It it is highly sensationalistic, such as saying the President’s mother is an alien or gas stoves are causing massive brain damage and asthma, good odds it is not a valid study, and that it’s not in a reputable or good publication. Though to be fair, The Enquirer seems to be gaining ground on many so-called scientific journals.

Up next is the list of authors. It should include current employers for each (J. Blowhard, National Institute of Health) and in many online papers links to previous papers, etc. It should also lead to affiliations, that is the organizations to which that researcher belongs. Now, if you find in a paper on the horrors of using gas stoves that one or more of the authors worked for a company that removed gas from buildings or was dedicated to eliminating gas as a fuel, that’s another red flag. Always check current and past employers, professional affiliations, and previous papers.

Now, sometimes it is up front and above board, and as such listed high up. Most times, however, it is buried towards the bottom of the paper. The “that” is a disclosure of who funded the research in question. Sometimes it is open, quite often it is a foundation or fund that has a noble-sounding name. Always check that out, as quite often the major source of funding for that noble-sounding trust or whatever is a major industry organization or even a company. If that organization or company is either dedicated to eliminating the horror that is gas, or promoting the competition for gas, well, yeah, that’s another red flag.

If you really want some fun that’s not a gas, go look up how much FDA nutrition research over the years was funding by trusts and funds bearing names like Kellogg, or even directly by major food companies. It’s not even that hard as it is well documented. Funding is king, and often is key to understanding and evaluating the research paper in question. Even when the U.S. government funds research, look to see if it is taxpayer funding or courtesy of a grant to the government by an industry-funded trust.

Next up should be an abstract. This is a synopsis of the paper and it’s conclusions. To be honest, it is all that is read by far too many corporate media reporters and is why such reporting is often “just a bit outside.” They can be confusing, and it can be easy to read into them what you want to read into them. Good ones are not, but you’re dealing with scientists and engineers who are talking to themselves, not authors used to talking to the public.

First up in the paper should be the background. What led to the paper? Why did they do it the way they did it? Lots of good information usually, and it is often fun to read between the lines on this. One of my favorites remains a research study on coffee filtration, which when you read a bit between the lines, boiled down to: we are coffee-heads, some of us have lipid problems, so we decided to see if filtering made a difference because we are NOT giving up our coffee. It is also good place to start spotting red-flags, as if the background is sketchy, the study is sketchy.

Next thing to look at is methodology. Most good studies are looking at a real-world situation, and therefore the methodology should mirror the real-world as much as possible. Not so easy on things like black holes, but on possible pollutants and such from gas stoves, dead easy. Therefore, if you see things where the methodology basically sealed an area such that it was guaranteed to raise concentrations (layers of plastic, foam bars, etc.) as it is almost air-tight, that’s a big red flag.

Every good paper should have a section on prior research. It’s part of the discussion of why this research was needed and what the paper contributes to the discussion. Remember, real science is about questioning, researching, debating, and testing. Science is never settled, and thinking back on watching a grad student all but dance in Spacelab Control when she was proved right on a theory and her professor wrong still makes me smile. Note, the professor wasn’t upset, he found it a good thing. That’s real science.

If a paper either doesn’t have such a section, or it is woefully incomplete, it is not a valid scientific study and paper. For example, if a study uses limited numbers, small area, and questionable methodology to reach a conclusion, and fails to discuss an easily found paper on PubMed that involved samples relating to half a million children worldwide, there is an issue there.

There should also be a conclusion, but by this point unless it says Jeffrey Epstein didn’t hang himself, you should have all the data you need. If a paper is nothing but a series of red flags, it is not a paper but propaganda. Next question is who is behind it or why. Why would anyone want to force a large segment of the population onto a underpowered and problematic grid and away from clean energy that is harder to control and/or cut-off than electricity? Good questions.

You should always have questions at the end of a paper. In good papers, most of mine are along the lines of ‘who is doing the next step research on this’ and ‘where can I find more information.’ In bad papers and propaganda, more towards the above.

When it comes to papers and the media coverage of same, trust no one. Rather, trust but verify. Especially if research is being used to push major policy decisions.

UPDATE: Got reminded that you also need to check if data is being accurately compared. Not saying there can be a tendency in bad papers/propaganda to do apple/orange comparisons (it’s another one of those red flag things), but be sure it is apple to apple, and not an attempt at a quick tap dance.

UPDATE II: In regards the whole gas debacle, check out this very good thread that takes it completely apart. It is very much worth the read. Also, if you think they really have stopped the effort to ban gas, please think again.

A Funny

I’ve been gathering medical records for various filings, and they are interesting. They can sometimes reveal things the docs didn’t tell you about, and sometimes they show other things.

Some I got this week informed me that I was struck by lightning while sitting on my horse.

Actually, I wish I had a horse. Not a pony, I’m not asking for a pony. Now, if an older horse who is calm (and shares a similar view on life) were to come into my life, that would be great. I loved horseback riding, and want to do more when and as I can.

As best I can tell, the mixup may come from voice-to-text operations, as the initial notes correctly show I was on the porch, and it looks like house somehow ended up horse. For me, I’m now waiting to see who, if anyone, notices it as things progress.

That Shooting In Texas

By now, if you haven’t seen the video of the would-be robber of a taqueria and it’s customers getting shot, you are in the minority. When I first saw it, I implemented the 48-hour rule as I wanted to see what else came out. It’s now well past 48-hours, so here goes.

One of the best analyses I’ve seen is here at the always excellent Legal Insurrection. If they are not a daily read, they should be. In this case, the author of the post is a noted legal expert on use of force/deadly force/etc. For all I would love to see Guy Relford break this down for Indiana law, the article is an excellent breakdown that actually cites some of the relevant Texas law. It is well worth the read, and should provide a lot of good food for thought.

Now, some personal takes and experience on the shooting.

On many levels, this is a FAFO moment and a fitting fate for a career violent felon. For all that I can understand, and even sympathize a bit with the shooter, for me it crossed a line. And I say that as someone who has been shot at by someone committing a crime and who also accidentally broke up an armed robbery that also featured a perp with what turned out to be a fake pistol. Circumstances matter. If this had been in a period of violence or other breakdown of authority (given crime and soft prosecutors, you could make that argument IMO), I’d frankly be inlined to give it a pass.

But, it wasn’t and I agree with the author of the linked post a good bit. The first group of four shots was righteous. The second group was, for me, iffy. Given all, would be very inclined to give benefit of the doubt. The last shot was a kill shot, and probably superfluous. It is that shot that is likely to see the shooter indicted and convicted. Politically, very wise to convene a grand jury (though those are easy to rig) to do any indicting. That said, even if indicted the shooter has a fair chance given this happened in Texas. Will see what happens.

Now, for some of the handwringing I’ve been seeing online.

First, there is no law that requires you to only shoot someone in the front. To think otherwise is to engage in romantic ignorance void of reality. Whether in your own defense, but particularly in the defense of others, the safety of those others is of paramount importance. To use deadly force in that situation requires you to think about and act in accordance with trying to maximize their safety, not minimize it. The shooter showed good thinking with his actions, as he waited until the armed robber was not observing him and further that his gun was not pointed at any of the other victims. That the gunman waited until he had a green board says some good things about him. In fact, I hope they mitigate things.

Second, the claim that because he was turned away and headed towards the door made it an unrighteous shoot. Bullshit. You have no idea what that person is going to do next. They might run, they might decide to kill everyone they can, the fact is you don’t know and you have to expect the worst. If you don’t get that, ask the ghosts of all those killed simply to eliminate witnesses even after they’ve handed over the till, safe, jewels, etc. without a fight. You have to assume the worst, hope for the best, and act without a lot of time for introspective thought. Whatever happens, a lot of people who find themselves in that situation will second-guess themselves for years to come with what-ifs.

Third, it was an unrighteous shoot because the gun was a fake. Oh, save me. First hand experience: an evening of visiting various, er, cultural establishments in Columbus, Georgia resulted in a need to refuel my friend’s car and for me to offload. Long story short, I broke up an armed robbery. Even as things started to unfold, a part of me noted that something was odd with the perp’s gun. Turns out, after some chaos, shooting and a very brief chase by me, it was eventually discovered that it was a toy. Problem is, in the few brief seconds of time you have, you need to be acting, not thinking. Go with real gun, it’s safer for you and others. Also, keep in mind that it can be a thing to put orange tape or other devices on real guns to make people think they are toys. Deal with the situation as it appears and sort things out later when there is time.

All you can do is the best you can do. Take a gun law course in your state from someone who knows what they are doing. Don’t just practice, get training and even advanced training if you are going to carry. Know the law, know the tactics, and most of all, know yourself. Spend some time thinking about how you will deal with things if you do have to shoot, especially knowing that everyone from the prosecutor onto the keyboard warriors and the screaming gibbons of corporate media are going to paint you as a murderous psychotic no matter what. Think about it, figure ways to cope, and prepare as best you can. It’s never enough, but a start helps in the long run.

Thoughts On Flooding

Flooding is one of the hardest things for which to prepare. Unless it is something like your basement flooding because of drainage issues, there is little practical about it.

In my case, where I rent does have flooding of the basement because of issues with sewer drains and lines that are headed towards being a century old. Clay pipe has a useful life, and it is long past. Short-term solution is sump pumps to divert the rain water elsewhere. Really need to add a battery backup to that, but that is up the landlord. FYI, at great expense, the landlord replaced the pipes and such out to the property line. It’s from there to the sewer that the problems lie, and that means lawyers and a huge amount of expense.

In watching what is hitting California, and the hurricane(s) in Florida last year, a few quick thoughts to share this morning. The quickest and easiest way to avoid flooding is to not move onto a flood plain. That may not always be possible because of circumstances, but it really is the only way to avoid the issue.

If you can’t avoid it, look at how often the area floods. If it is every year, no. Don’t care how good the deal, it’s not worth it. If it is subject to 10, 20, or 100 year floods, the roll of the dice is up to you. It may be possible to find a place where through creative landscaping, you can reduce your risk. Or, you may can find a place where you can use sandbags over a limited arc to prevent flooding.

If you have to encircle your entire home, it’s not good. It is, in fact, a massive amount of work that may not work as well as you need it to. The higher you need the wall to go, the wider it needs to be at the base to be water resistant and to support the weight of the wall. And you are going to need pumps to handle what does come through. You will also need to have a way to shut off your sewer as water can and will come in and flood you via that system. For all that cities are supposed to have backflow prevention, they often don’t or it fails under the load.

If it is recommended (or required) that you evacuate, do it. Grab your bugout bags, if there is time grab some important things, but get out. It’s like evacuating for a wildfire: your life is worth more than even extremely sentimental possessions. If you don’t, or the flooding happens too fast, if you have an upstairs, move as much up as possible. If not, make sure you have access to the attic and a way to cut a hole in the roof so you can get out. I will suggest that if floods are frequent and of a surrounding nature, you might want to invest in a life raft as it’s a better option than drowning.

Which brings up another point. For the love of all that is Holy, DO NOT WALK OR DRIVE INTO FLOOD WATERS!

When walking, you don’t know what’s below, and drains are a great way to get you or your children sucked down to drown. You can get hurt other ways as well. If you watch them in action, you will note that rescue crews are very careful when they have to walk in flood waters, and even in shallow water they are inclined to use boats. You should be paying attention to that.

When driving, you are going to be (often briefly) surprised at the power of the water to take your vehicle where it wants to rather than to where you wanted to go. The bridge that used to be there may no longer be there. There are other hazards as well, and even if you are in the biggest most badass military truck there is, the water will win if you fight it. Notice how rescue convoys operate in flood waters and learn from it. We lose more people than we should each year to this bit of idiocy.

The smart thing to do is, unless absolutely a matter of life and death, don’t get out in or on floodwaters.

Just a few quick thoughts to share on the one thing for which there is very limited practical preparedness.

2 Forward, 1 Back?

For all that I feel like I was a WLB for writing this post, I have to admit that it was good to write it. It was a reminder to myself, and mayhaps others, that it is okay to have bad days. They are going to happen and we just have to ride them out. While the memory/cognitive side recovered quickly, and a memory ended up being recovered, the body has not and it was an interesting weekend.

To answer some questions, I want to expand on this post where I talk about what happened. Obviously, one of the first questions people have is ‘what was it like’ and one of the follow-ups is often along the line of ‘why aren’t you moved yet?’ I want to expand a bit on what it was like and some of what I’ve learned over this last year and a half.

Understand, some of the memories from around the time I was hit may be fuzzed up a bit. Go figure! It’s another reason I want to share this as if you or someone you know has a close encounter, there’s good reason to get checked out even if you think it missed.

I’ll skip a lot of the background, and will say that I don’t remember any lightning anywhere close to me at the time. There may have been a strike several blocks away, but nothing close. It was a habit to do flash/bang calculations of distance while watching storms, and I knew from that and radar that the storm was moving off.

Our best guess is that the lightning strike that got me hit a tree just off the porch and that some of it came over to say hello. How much is a good question, and the sad answer is that we don’t know and there is no way to tell. This is especially true since it took a couple of weeks for us to figure out I had been hit. More on that in a bit.

I think I remember that I had just put down the phone, which is in an insulated case, before the strike. In fact, just after I had done so was when my world went white. I remember thinking that I had clenched up out of fear, and yes I had a Buckley moment where I thought ‘this is going to hurt.’ Even as I thought that and my world went white, there was a roaring sensation — not sound — in my head, and it felt like my brain was vibrating at a very high frequency. Then my world went black and I remember part of my mind thinking ‘bleep, power’s out we will have to reset every flippin clock’ followed by the thought of wondering if I would see Hell, Heaven, or something else when the lights come back on. I really didn’t want to see Hell, but also remember being strangely calm and curious as I sat there locked up.

When I could see again, I was still on the porch. I was much relieved, and had several thoughts along the lines of ‘wow that was close, too close!’ I was surprised the phone was still working and that the lights were on inside. I will note that the radio in my car, which was parked partially under the tree at the time, was later found to be fried.

Since I was alive, I obviously couldn’t have been hit. Cough. Just take it as a given that in a case like this, you might not be thinking clearly. Add that to my normal Captain Oblivious state, and I didn’t have a clue. No major blast or burns, so again, I couldn’t have been hit. The most common injury reported in lightning strikes are concussion symptoms, and there is data that suggests that burn and blast injuries may not occur in a majority of cases. Keep that in mind if an arrogant/ignorant/inexperienced doctor tries to tell you that you/other don’t need to be checked out after a close encounter because you don’t have such. Keep in mind that most doctors never see, and even ERs may only see one or two lightning hits in a year or years. The linguistic/cognitive therapist who worked with me (wonderful lady!) was told she would only see one such case in an entire career. She has now seen two.

Now, let me take a moment to give some thanks and note a couple of miracles that morning. After all, one of the things I did after going inside was to give thanks to God and the Blessed Mother that I was alive and it had missed. Yeah, off a little on that last. First miracle, the entire bolt did not hit me, as at least some portion took out my car radio, and I suspect some went into the ground. Second, I wasn’t dead on the spot. If I had been sitting on the other side of the table, the electricity that did go through me would have gone directly through my heart, with the most likely result being me dead right there. Instead of the left, it went down (mostly) the right side of my body. Why do I say that?

Let’s chart the damage. In my right ear, I no longer hear any higher frequencies. The associated nerves are dead. My heart took some damage, but I was alive. There was a small, black hole in the ball of my right foot, and when I checked the shoes I was wearing that morning, you could see where rubber melted at the matching spot on the sole and where rubber had melted and reformed in lightning-type shape as the electricity ran to ground. I had concussion symptoms out the wazoo, and still have occasional moments of something similar to vertigo. The EEG and MRI show no tumors and obvious physical damage to the brain, but more on that in a bit. There may have been some other, non-permanent things, but if so, I missed them.

What I find fascinating is the amount of delayed damage if you will. We will never know for sure what might have turned out different if I had gone to the ER that morning. Could things have been caught/prevented? No way to be sure, as just doing a 12-lead would not (and did not) catch some of the damage. That took a heart cath. Do I wish I could have gotten in for cognitive testing and therapy much, much sooner (or that I had a neurologist who wasn’t as useless as teats on a boar)? Yes. Would it have prevented anything? No.

The cardiac issues were, in many respects, somewhat straightforward. The first indicator I noticed that there was damage/issues was when my BP hit somewhere in the neighborhood of 214/148. Two weeks (pretty much to the day I think) after the hit, the BP sent me to the ER though I just knew something was off. Visit to my doctor’s office the next day slowly started the ball rolling. I reached out to a very nice, helpful, and sadly retired MD who used to treat lightning strike and electrical shock victims. It was her gentle questioning that resulted in my learning that I had locked up, not clenched up, and it was somewhat amazing I was alive. It also led to my finding the hole in the ball of my right foot, which looked almost like a large-bore needle hole, but instead of the red track down through your skin and such, this one was black like carbon. It was also hard to see given the suddenly large callous. More on that in a minute.

My GP and I never did do a thorough search in my scalp and back, given that about three weeks had passed at that point. I really do wonder though if we might not have found an entry point back behind my ear given the number done on the audio nerves and other parts of the ear.

This was also the time of the Great Referral. With the BP issues continuing and increasing, time for a cardiologist. With the concussive effects and various issues cropping up, time for a neurologist. Issues were cropping up with the right foot, time for a podiatrist. No partridge in a pear tree though. Took some time, as only select doctors take my insurance. Cough. For all that it is not the best out there, and quite a few don’t take it, I will take a moment to note in thanks that for the last year and a half they have stepped up and done more than I ever expected. That could stop tomorrow, but it’s been a major factor in not moving as fast as I would like to do, as it will not move with me.

Let’s start with the podiatrist. It took a few weeks for my GP’s office to find one they liked that would take my insurance. Then we had to find an opening in his schedule. By then, it was painful to stand and walk on my right foot. Got in, he looked at my foot, and was the first doctor who believed me from the start. Even my GP had been skeptical. But, as the podiatrist looked things over, he sat there and told me how he wasn’t surprised it had exited there, why, and some other interesting stuff. He also was the first referral not to recommend surgery. Instead, he grabbed a scalpel and started back towards my foot. Think my reaction may have hurt his feelings, but it is better to tell me ahead of time what you are doing when approaching with sharp objects. He cut off a large amount of dead stuff, recommended custom orthotics and regular visits to a nail place to keep it trimmed, and since my insurance was not going to cover the orthotics, how to modify store bought to work. Great guy, if I ever need a podiatrist again, would go back in a heartbeat. While I bought some things to work on the callus, I did have to hit a nail place a couple of times as they wield the cheese grater far better than do I, and for about six to eight months after the strike it grew like the dickens.

Guess we do have to discuss the neurologist. To say they don’t have a good bedside manner is to venture into opposite world. The immediate take was, if I had been hit (no burn, no blast, pah), nothing can be done. Almost grudgingly ordered an EEG and MRI. When those showed no tumors, lesions, fractures, or other signs of gross physical damage, think they were pretty much done. Took a LOT of effort to get the referral to RHI for cognitive testing. Was worth it, even though the first opening they had was some six months out. So, it wasn’t until around February of 2022 that I got in to see them.

Spent a day being tested. Good news, I didn’t fail (NOTE: edited the good as just got my files and while I did good on some…). Bad news, yeah, you took a hit. Took a while to get it worked out with insurance, but did several therapy visits over a month or two where the excellent people explained things, helped me develop several coping mechanisms for the short-term memory problems, and did what they could to help. One of the most important: don’t beat yourself up. There are going to be slips, oopses, and such. Take a moment, relax, start over. That and pay attention to how you are doing. Know it’s a bad time, don’t try to do too much. Those are both sorta hard for me. Learned a lot from them, including the time it is likely to take for my brain to fully heal.

The cardiologist is the one I still see. Methodical. Took longer than I would have liked to get the BP down and under control. I’m not an impatient patient, really (sounds of hysterical laughter coming from my doctor’s offices). Some things weren’t adding up for her, so we started doing some testing including a nuclear stress test and imaging. Heart cath ordered, but afib got so bad that I was sent to the ER. At the ER, told them why I was there (and something told me to grab the go bags) and I was quickly put in a people mover (not a wheel chair) and sent back for a strip. Nurse/tech looks at it and disappears. When she comes back, I’m pushed back out into the waiting room and told firmly that I was admitted, I was not to leave or get up from the mover, and they would get me back as fast as they could given that they were full. Think I’ve put the full story elsewhere, but I ended up spending the night in the ER (FUN!), the next day had a heart cath, then a visit from the nice surgeon who said I could wait up to two weeks but it really would be a good idea to have open heart surgery the next morning. We did so, and it proved to be a remarkably pain free event and recovery. Still tease him that I want ten percent back from the bill since my cut is at a diagonal rather than straight up and down.

After recovery came the rehabs. 2022 was a year of rehab and testing. There was cardiac rehab, where I really enjoyed a couple of the staff (think I got one hooked on Baen Books) though I was rather frequently told to slow down, stop, take it easy. For whatever they may think, I was being good. Honest. At least for me. I’ve always pushed heart rate, endurance, and such as high as I could at the gym. For that one person, write down what the patient tells you not what you want to put on the chart, and also saying that the doctor is wrong and you are the only one who can save someone is not a good look. Don’t miss that one. Looking for some way to join the Y that’s nearby, need to be working out more. Even the cardiologist is encouraging that.

The neural rehab was interesting and on some levels fun. I’ve learned a lot about the brain, cognition, and how to work around some of the issues. Some of it may seem fairly straightforward, but the angel of healing lies in the details. I still have my binder out where I can get to it to check things. The help they gave is why I can do as much as I do. I’m actually quite thankful that things were not such that I had to be in some sort of facility. I like my life as it is, having minders would crimp my style. Not that I do anything the doctors wouldn’t like. *best innocent look* Another two or so years, the brain should be fully healed, and maybe something can be done to see how much of the “missing” files we can find.

The testing last year leads into a very interesting area. Early on, I was told to beware of other survivors attributing a range of things to the lightning strike, from cancer to various endocrine problems. It is interesting how many survivors do develop other problems, ones that clearly can’t be directly linked to the lightning (or electric shock) strike. Hence some of my discussions of quantum probability cascades in a not completely joking manner. In my own case, a couple of things (like the diverticulitis) were there at a you-have-it-no-big-deal level before the strike. 2022 saw more “Welcome to the ER” moments than I care for. Not quite on a first name basis with the ER staff a block away, but closer to it than I care for. So, several CT scans and a colonoscopy later, I am glad to say that no cancer we know of and everything else is livable/treatable at need.

Now, that may end up with me getting new shoulder joints. I had a doc recommend an “emergency” replacement of the right joint a couple of years ago, with a push to go ahead and do both. Got a second opinion about a year after that, and the idea is to wait (if possible) for five to seven years to do the surgery. There are some issues going on, including having blood flow cut off to my arms at night such that they “go to sleep.” So far, have always caught it early, and while I don’t like the tingles, I can live with it. Suspect it is a positional thing. Need to remember to tell this to the GP. Meantime, lots of pain and hard to sleep as a result. Hoping this doesn’t turn into an ER or surgery moment in 2023.

As for the arthritis, I do wish I could remember which doc told me I had advanced severe osteoarthritis. I’m thankful it’s not rheumatoid, but that doesn’t make it fun. Since the strike, it has — in my estimation — kicked up. Lower back, hands, arms. Given that I have done a few interesting things in life, from jumping out of planes to a lot of hiking/backpacking and a small amount of marching, I’m amazed my knees and hips are as good as they are. There’s not much that can be done, so I try to ignore it as much as possible. Meantime, between this and the shoulders, Ranger Candy!

Allergies are the one thing that don’t seem to have increased since the strike. In fact, other than needing benadryl for the CT scans, have been doing pretty good. More of them than I care for, but that’s been true since childhood.

That’s enough for today. Safety Brief: Be smart, be safe, and remember that if the lightning is at a range of 1-3 miles, you are in range too. Even if there are no obvious burns or blast damage, if you have a close encounter with lightning, go get checked out and remind the doc that the most common symptom of a lightning strike are concussive effects. Otherwise, press on and remember to count your blessings and give thanks for them. Also, don’t hesitate to ask for prayers, they do make a difference.

UPDATE: From the comments, getting hit by lightning can and does cause personality changes. It can also have an impact on if you can learn new things, or remember to do things you used to know how to do. While I have heard of someone getting nicer, most of the information on personality changes trend towards nice people not being as nice (to be polite). Thankfully, any personality changes for me seem to be fairly minor, and while it takes a lot longer, an old wolf can eventually learn new tricks. Sorta.

Oriana Fallaci

This morning I bored you with my tales of woe, mostly focused on the short-term issues. This afternoon, I am going to bore you with something aimed at helping the long-term memory issues.

I actually need to thank Glenn Reynolds for sparking a memory moment with this post on the passing of Barbara Walters where he mentioned she was no Oriana Fallaci. It actually triggered several memories, but one stood out. Been meaning to write this post, but kept forgetting to put it on the list…

One of the great things about having Daryle Feldmeir as head of the journalism program is that the man had the personal and professional connections to bring in guest speakers others could only dream of getting. Mike Royko was one, but the most interesting out of all of them (and they were all interesting and notable) was Oriana Fallaci.

She was a striking woman, with a personality that made her seem larger than she was. There is much written about her, but some quick highlights include being a member of the resistance in Italy before and during WWII, interviewing some of the most notable leaders and artists in the world, and an interview style that is not wrong to be described as an interrogation. It is worth noting that after interviewing Kohmeni that her criticisms of Islam brought howls of protest and accusations of Islamophobia.

She, like Daryle and Les Brownlee, was a bulldog for the truth, and I honestly think she would be disgusted with the state of corporate journalism today. In fact, I could easily see her with the bloggers and others like Project Veritas and the New Journalism start-ups.

Her talk that day was amazing. It covered a lot of ground, as she talked about some of the people she had interviewed, why she interviewed the way she did, and why those she knew were hiding things were given no mercy. It got into some of her other work (she covered Vietnam in person) and her other writing. When she talked about having a servant tie her to a chair and not let her out until she had written so many words on a book, my eyebrows probably ended up well past the crown of my head.

She did get a little into journalistic ethics and the Canons of Journalism. It was not her job or ours to make people comfortable. It was our job to make them uncomfortable, to dig for what was hidden, and to hold leaders of all stripes accountable. If you could do it with style, all the better. Be truthful above all. There was more, but that’s about all I can pull up right now.

Between her unscripted speech, and the question and answer session, we learned a lot. About the only thing off limits was her love life, other than that she had one. Active even. As for with who and when, that was off limits. Got some good tips on writing, and on journalism. I even have an autographed copy somewhere of one of her books, as she gave them out to our class.

I remember an energy and intensity to her that was distinct. It is hard to describe, but it would be hard to imagine her as hesitant or scared. She was passionate on a number of issues, and that came through loud and clear. What she would think of my politics today, I don’t know, but the one thing I am sure of is that we could and would talk. It might get loud, it might get passionate, but there would be genuine discussion, unlike so many today.

As with all real people, she was complex. There are things where I agree with her fully, and parts where I disagree. The fun is in discussing the differences.

I do wish I could have sat down with her again before she died. Thing is, had any one of us in that class contacted her, I think she would have. She would have wanted to know what we did, were doing, etc. Most of all, were we doing our job as journalists and making the right people uncomfortable.

Thank you Glenn, for sparking that memory cascade. Maybe some more of it will surface, but for now I have an amazing memory of a remarkable person restored.

Bad Day

I mostly try to share the positive here, for all that it may seem otherwise sometimes. Sharing the successes of life help reinforce them, and encourage more. Yet, I also need to share some of the other, so that you understand why things can be spotty sometimes.

Getting hit by lighting has done some interesting things. To be polite. These include both short-term and long-term memory issues. The long-term issues may not be a permanent loss, just an inability to access. For those more modern, my directory file has been corrupted and the brain doesn’t know where to find some of the files. In more old-fashioned terms, I describe it as someone going into a room full of filing cabinets, selecting some cabinets at random, and dumping random drawers on the floor. Then the jerk cuts on an industrial fan.

The short-term issues basically come down to my now having the short-term memory of a mayfly, and a brain permanently set to “SQUIRREL!!” The polite term used by the linguistic/cognitive therapists is “attention lapse.” I have a lot of them, and some days are worse than others. To work around the lapses, I have routines and use a lot of lists. If you own stock in generic post-it notes, you’re welcome for the dividends as I use a lot of them. If it doesn’t make it onto a list, 99.999999999999999999999 percent chance it won’t get done. From texting a friend to writing a story, I pretty much have to write it down on the list.

Shoot, even normal things take an extra step or two. When taking my medicines and supplements in the morning, I actually have to go down the list and put each pill in a bowl. I then count them, and if the count is off, track down what pill got skipped. May not be pretty on some levels, but it works. More of my life than I care for is built around such hacks.

Even very routine things can be difficult. For example, it is not uncommon for my mind to blank as I venerate my scapular or say a familiar prayer. I trust that the Lord understands and makes allowances, and hope friends and others do so as well if I blank on things with them. It’s one reason I’ve been hesitant to do any podcasting or be on a podcast, besides the fact I have a face and voice for radio. It’s also why I don’t see regular work in my future for the next few years. The lapses, even with notes and routines, get me. Add in all the other physical issues, and, well… Just really hope they are right and things will eventually get better in a few years.

Last night was rough. Weather changes do a number on me, and we have a good one in process. Possibly snow tonight, though the lower back, shoulders, and hands aren’t swearing to that yet. Well, they are saying some, but not how much. May just be a dusting. May just go get in the shower to see if the heat will get them to quit swearing, I mean hurting, as much.

This morning, my cooking routine got zorched. It is designed in part around ensuring burners are cut off, which makes one of my most common mistakes forgetting to cut on a burner, which does slow things down a bit. This morning saw me do both, with a few other minor bobbles. No harm, no foul, and breakfast was eventually tasty. That said, there have been a few other issues and I’m thinking it might be good to call it a day already.

I’m supposed to go pick up some medicines and the few groceries I can afford, but think that unless and until things improve I don’t need to be out on the Real Indianapolis 500 (I-465) where you need to be on high alert at all times. Heck, Indy traffic in general can on occasion make me nostalgic for the traffic in Baghdad. Things may get better, but until I see signs of it I may just look at cute animal pictures and such.

Oh, for those of you who are regular readers: the promised contact from SSA? Nope. I wish I were surprised. I had hoped on some levels, but on others I really didn’t think it would happen. May look at talking to a congresscritter here soon.

So long as this doesn’t get me put in a padded room, I’ve been writing in my dreams, or maybe my dreams are writing a story. If you liked the New Year’s short story, which is based off the universe in the Christmas short story I dreamed, there looks to be more. The Christmas story really is the outline for something else, and in the odd hours of the early morning, I’ve been dreaming that more. To the point of working through issues, how to handle some other issues, and otherwise building that story and world. Yes, trying to make notes as it could turn into a very nice story or stories. Not sure where it’s coming from, but it’s not a bad dream to have. Looking at polishing up the New Year story for sale, and see what I can do on the larger story.

All that said, I’m hoping to get back to regular posting soon. There is more on preparedness, some pithy comments if not full stories on Russia and the war, and the other things you all seem to enjoy. More soon, promise.

UPDATE: Instapundit triggered a memory a few days ago, and I finally remembered to write about it today. Slowly but surely getting some of the long-term memories sorted.