laughingwolf_qh33q8 – Page 7 – The Laughing Wolf

Thank You

To all who offered condolences, prayers, and humor (did need the laughs), thank you. It’s hard to believe that it’s just been a little over a week, as in some ways it feels like it’s been two or three. Sunday was sorta weird, in that I kept expecting to see him come through the door at his usual time.

Doing confession is going to be interesting, as some there have had him as their confessor for more than 40 years. Our liturgy may start on Orthodox time (late, in other words) because now there is only Father John to hear confessions and he can’t start the liturgy until all that need to do so have done confession. Father Stevan usually took care of that.

Hopefully back to more regular posting soon. Thank you for your good thoughts and patience during this time.

Nope

Given that I almost threw the dirty laundry in the trash, and the trash into the dirty laundry bin, don’t think I’m up to writing today. Enjoy your day!

Recovering

I really do need to do a post about my Godfather soon, but right now I’m fried. Not going to lie or try to hide it. I’ve been at the Church almost non-stop since his repose. In the Orthodox Church, when a priest dies, they lie in state at the Church and to honor their teaching of the Gospel, the Gospel (books of the New Testament) and the Psalter (the Psalms) are read over them 24-7 until around the time of the formal funeral.

Took some of the night shifts and was also involved in various other services. Didn’t get a lot of sleep since last Thursday, wasn’t really hungry so did just one small meal a day, and knew I was not alone. As I noted before, a Bishop came to conduct his funeral, and more than a dozen other priests showed up as well. I think there were 10-12 priests involved with the service, and a lot of others were there but just no room or way for them to participate.

Not all of them were from our branch of Orthodoxy either, which tells you a lot about him right there. For all I wasn’t surprised, it was a bit staggering to find out how many people flew in from across the country to see him off. I didn’t have the time to do a proper count, but it looked like more than 200 of his closest friends came to pay last respects. Our little Church was standing room only and packed.

This morning, several of us took him out of the Church and put him into a funeral van to be driven to his final resting place in Missouri. His family was traveling with him (our priests can marry) and in a few hours he will be interred at a monastery in Missouri. In a few weeks, several of us are looking at going and spending some time there.

I’ve made some decisions, but more on that later. Right now, I’m exhausted, sad, happy, and a few other things. Still feels like a gut punch, but when seasoned priests choke up during the proceedings it pretty much says it all. Then again, to go peacefully in one’s sleep is a good ending in my book. I miss him. I will miss him. I am so very, very glad he was a part of my life. I can’t wait to share more of you with him. I wish each of you could have met him, as he had wit and a great sense of humor; an amazing intellect and more importantly a curiosity; and, a way about him that made everyone at home around him.

It is going to be hard for so many. Many grew up with him as their Priest, their Confessor, their friend. He was my Confessor and a good one. I can’t say how hard that is going to be on so many, as a Confessor just doesn’t hear your sins, they help you to grow so you don’t do the same sins again. A sub-Deacon at another Church and I had a great talk during all this about how good it was to have a Confessor who had extensive experience in the “real” world as well as simple lived life experience. Add in things like studying psychology and such, and you had someone who could and would truly help you grow. No offense against my Priest, but he is young. I am old and steeped in sin. I need someone with a lot more life experience to help me.

Too long, too much, too maudlin. May your week be blessed, and more regular posting will resume soon. After I catch up on some sleep and get my emotional feet back under me. Be good, be safe, keep your family and friends close, and your things where you can find them in the dark.

Prayer Request

I just found out that my Godfather and confessor, Fr. Stevan Bauman, unexpectedly fell asleep in the Lord last night. Please pray for the blessed repose of his soul; for mercy and comfort to his wife, two daughters, and their families; and, for the many, many, many people who’s lives he touched for the better.

UPDATE I: Will be offline mostly until Tuesday (at least). We are holding vigil and taking turns reading the Gospels over him in the Church until his funeral on Monday. I really need to tell his story one day soon, but it will be hard to do justice to him. He was a humble man, with a quick wit and amazing intellect, but simple is not a word I would associate with him. Which is part of why our Bishop is flying in to conduct his service. For those not Orthodox, it’s something like a Roman Catholic Cardinal flying in to do the funeral of a retired parish priest. Not the best analogy at all, but it’s the best I have right now. I will share that our Metropolitan was reported to be upset that he couldn’t come do it (he is above the Bishop).

Ouch

I’m not precisely hurting, but I am not feeling great right now. I suspect I will be feeling really good tomorrow. Why?

The really good massage therapist worked me over like a rented mule today. I was seriously ready to confess I had done it and tossed the body off the train outside Shanghai, or give a fake-but-realistic code if she wanted info. Again, why?

Well, running high voltage or lightning through the body is not good for it. Before taking me on as a client, she researched what lightning did to the body, what techniques worked best, and what issues she might face. One of the big things is that it can cause the fascia (connective tissue that surrounds and supports muscles, organs, etc.; think extra-cellular matrix) to harden. Which in turn is not good for strength, flexibility, mobility and other important things.

The first session she ended up working mostly on the upper body, and was surprised that the fascia wasn’t harder than it was. Today, however, she worked lower and the legs/lower back were hard. Which meant that today’s session was quite literally painful as she worked to break things up (including potential scar tissue). Thing is, I could already tell a difference (positive) before I left the center. I’m actually going back next week as we need to keep working to get things dealt with.

I’m honestly not surprised as I’ve known the legs (in particular) had issues and needed help. The right leg is in much worse shape than the left. Also, from some detective work with a therapist/physiologist, we traced the path of the lightning and know the bulk went down my right side and leg and then out the ball of the foot. Based on a number of factors, we also suspect the legs took more current than the upper body. While something very clearly hit behind my right ear, other things point to a good bit of inductance in other areas.

For now, I have some discomfort in the legs and am not feeling great, most likely because of all the nasty stuff getting released by the deep tissue work she did. So, drinking lots and lots of water to help get it out. I’ve been having a lot of leg cramps since the lightning strike, and there is some hope that this might help that situation as well. May take in some extra magnesium just to be safe.

For those that have followed the saga of the massage therapy, I’ve quit seeing the other therapist at the reflexology center. Nice lady, like her as a person, but not getting the results I need. The first time with the therapist I went back to today was amazing, and the proof is in the results. So, sorry for no “serious” post today but not sorry as well. Will be offline most of tomorrow as well, as we have a special service for the start of the Dormition Fast and I’m going to be trying to get to Costco and some other shopping afterwards (which is a pain because of the bus routes and schedules).

As always, be good, be safe, and be prepared. Keep your family and friends close, and your things where you can find them in the dark.

Getting hit by lightning is not fun! If you would like to help me in my recovery efforts, feel free to hit the fundraiser at A New Life on GiveSendGo, use the options in the Tip Jar in the upper right, or drop me a line to discuss other methods. If you want to know some of what it is going for, read here. There is also the Amazon Wish List in the Bard’s Jar. It is thanks to your gifts and prayers that I am still going. Thank you.

Saint Ailbe

In more traditional churches, it is the practice for people to be named for Saints and Martyrs, and for those joining as adults to take the name of a Saint or Martyr. When I joined the Catholic Church (I grew up Methodist, moved to the Episcopal Church, wandered a bit, then became Catholic) I was Michael Ailbe. When I joined the Orthodox Church, I was told to pick one name. St. Michael will always be a part of me, but I went with St. Ailbe. BTW, it’s Gaelic so is not pronounced anything like it looks (Ahl-Vee-ah)

Now, for the heathen out there, we don’t worship icons. Icons serve two primary purposes: they are windows into heaven, and they are a challenge to our lives. For the first, the short version is that the only people we know are in heaven for sure are the Saints and Martyrs. Icons are in effect windows to them, and we ask them to pray and intercede for us as we know they are in heaven and in position to appeal on our behalf. As for the second, go to any good military base or museum and look at all the photos, art, and illustrations of famous military figures. They are there as a challenge to both the recruit and the old salt, to live up to what they did on the field of battle. It’s the same thing with the Saints: they did good, so can you: can you do as well as they did?

For example, a Saint I have grown to admire is Saint John of Krondstat. Back in the day, he looked around at things and said this is bull. In his wake were orphanages, homes for the widows, food for the hungry, and medical care for those who needed it. The man did an amazing amount of good, and from what I have read was worried he hadn’t done enough. That’s a challenge for any warrior of the soul. As a side note, I was relieved to find out I wasn’t the only one to feel that the icon of St. Gregory of Palamas, who in our Church is next to St. John, was giving me/us the side-eye as I talked to St. John.

Back on track, St. Ailbe was a fifth century Irish priest and more. He had been born in Ireland and was a child of the hillside. Legend has it that the infant was rescued by a wolf, but what is known is that he was taken to England as a youth by a group of Christian evangelists and raised there. He became a priest, went to Rome, and was reported to have been made a Bishop there.

Other than he was highly regarded, his hearth (hospitality) was highly praised, and he dressed and spoke well, there is not a lot of verifiable fact to go with. Given the Irish penchant for tales, there are a lot of legends. He is alleged to have provided sanctuary to a female wolf who ran into his abode while avoiding hunters, with some legends saying it was the wolf who had saved him from the hillside many years before. Given that wolves do good to live five years in the wild, legend. It may be true that animals were as welcome at his hearth as people, as it would fit with the rules of hospitality at the time, especially Christian hospitality. He built several Churches, a monastery, and when he died was reported to have been buried in the cathedral at Emly. Sadly, that cathedral disappeared centuries ago.

There were a few icons and representations of him out there, but they were mostly generic and not terribly inspiring. Save for a couple that were less than flattering. In fact one with him and a wolf frankly looked like they were both up to no good and enjoying that fact. Again, not inspiring.

I had been looking around for something good, and have even looked at some Iconographers in England and Europe. Then, someone pointed me to a noted Iconographer who was located here in Indianapolis. I had seen his work, and to be honest his Icon of St. Brigid of Kildare is my favorite representation of her. I hadn’t really realized he was truly local or that he might be interested in working with me.

Long story short, I met with him and he had been briefed on me and my circumstances. Despite the latter, he was intrigued and we had a good discussion. I gave him all I had on St. Ailbe, and discussed some concepts I had thought about, but that he had free reign. A few months later, a concept sketch was presented which went in a very different direction, and was pretty much perfect. A few months after that, and today he presented me the Icon you see above.

Pretty much every report notes that the first Church he built upon returning to Ireland was by a lake and a yew tree. A basket of food at his feet symbolizes the hospitality of his hearth. There are a couple of other minor details, but those are the large ones that will stand out.

As you look at it, appreciate the colors and shadings. Something I didn’t know at the start, this talented artist and Iconographer is colorblind. I’m told his wife will help him a bit on colors, but appreciate that he can’t see the wonderful richness of the Icons and artwork he creates. If you are looking for a good Icon, and particularly if you are Orthodox, Catholic, or other traditional Church, be glad to put you in touch with him.

For me, I took the name Ailbe for several reasons. Yes, the connection to wolves led me to him, but the hospitality of his hearth hit home as I love to cook, helped lead a charity that cooked for troops and veterans (particularly wounded), and think highly of the ancient laws of hospitality. That he also did such a great job of spreading the Word, doing right by those who accepted the Word, and helped establish and expand the monastic tradition in Ireland made him someone to emulate. To have a good Icon to challenge me to live up to the name if I can is a treasure.

Oh, and if you are still bristling over the subject of Icons, keep in mind one of the earliest known Iconographers was the Apostle Luke. Yes, that Luke who is responsible for several books of the New Testament. I find it interesting that he is reported to have interviewed the Theotokos (The Virgin Mary, Theotokos translating as God Bearer/the one who gave birth to God). Note that the Book of Luke is the only book of the New Testament to have stories from the youth of Jesus. I would also contend that those are only stories a mother would tell. Of the Icons Luke created that have survived, I think it is four that deal with Mary and the infant Jesus.

The most famous (and most copied) is The Directress, where the Theotokos has the infant Jesus on her lap, and is pointing to him (He is the way, the truth, and the light). Another is the “Vladimir” Icon, which I love though the sadness in her eyes can rip your heart right out. I find it interesting and telling that while the infant is different in each, the Theotokos is pretty much identical, as if he had seen her but not him. Which is the historical case. There is more, but if interested it is well worth looking up and a fascinating glimpse into art and history.

As for me, once the Icon comes home (it is at the Church to stay on the altar and be blessed), it goes up in my room at the little shrine I have. I’m like a lot of guys in that if given a challenge, I try to live up to it. I hope I can do right by the name. I’d like to live this new life I’ve been granted such that I do so, and even do good enough St. Gregory stops giving me the side eye. I’m proof that God can work with anyone, and I remind myself and any who need it that Christ didn’t come down from the Heavens for the perfect. He came to save the sinners (of whom I am chief). Also keep in mind we are all called to be Saints in training. Few of us can and do live up to that, but the challenge is in trying.

Let’s get to it.

Two For Your Pleasure

And hopefully for your edification as well. I’m going to be offline for a good bit of the day as I am being presented an icon of my name Saint by a noted Iconographer. May do a little post about this, as there’s a twist to the story of the Iconographer that you may appreciate.

First up, spiders — for all they do a lot of good in many cases — are not well loved. I suspect that one of the fastest ways to get a female out of her clothes is to tell her a spider is in them. We’ve been overrun with them this summer, and despite one apparently biting me, I’ve let most live as they have been dealing with the gnats, flies, and other abundant insect life quite nicely.

Now, however, there is a new wrinkle. Spiders are firemakers. And the author of this wonderfully worded article gets a bow for the wordplay. It’s worth reading for that alone; but, lot of good info and links in there too. Hat tip and thanks to Sarah A. Hoyt at Instapundit for that one.

Second, is a post by Sarah at her own site. She talks about a concern which I share, and hope can be avoided. As I pull back from pure politics a bit, need to do a post this week on the things that worry me, that I see as entirely too probable.

Enjoy the links, and more soon.

Preparedness Pays: Advanced Directives

This is not your typical preparedness post, but I will simply note that having advanced directives and a will saves a lot of time, money, and even heartache. Keep in mind that the emergency or disaster could include your health and safety, or that of a family member.

Right now, I’m in the process of arranging a new, local, power of attorney for healthcare. I’m also going to need to find a new executor for my will, but for some odd reason the last four years have me focusing on healthcare first. Can’t understand why.

Advanced directives let people know what you, and don’t, want done in the case of injury from an accident or other emergency. Having others who can speak and decide for you is essential, as laws vary and even if you have written instructions in your wallet (or otherwise on you at all times), first responders, hospitals, and other care facilities may not be obligated to follow it. The same may or may not be legally obligated to send your body to the funeral home you prefer in case of death. A lot depends on state and local laws. So, don’t take chances.

Me, well, I should have died more than once before I was hit by lightning. I’ve been lucky in that since I came of legal age that I’ve been able to say what I wanted done (or didn’t want done) but it has also been nice knowing I had others who could and would act for me at need.

Of course, that’s been somewhat easy for them since my philosophy is pretty straightforward: if there is a chance at life and living, fight; if not, let me go; and, in all cases, put it in God’s hands.

In the event of major injury, I can live without a limb, or even two. Fact is, most humans can live without a variety of things, from about half your small intestines to even some organs (or parts thereof). Sacrifice part to save the whole? Game On. So long as my brain can function and I can communicate, Game On.

One of the few things that truly scares me is to have some brain function and not be able to communicate. Long story, but had a relative who lived what I would regard as a hell on Earth: they could remember being whole and normal; and knew they were no longer so. They were institutionalized for decades as they were alive, but with a brain that was severely impaired. They had to be supervised and cared for 24/7. The anger that filled them because of this was scary. I think under that type of circumstances I would like a DNR order in place.

As an aside, if I were left with the mind of a child, that might not be such a bad thing. Especially if one thinks of Matthew 18:3. Would be hard to confess past sins though.

Other than that, I do really prefer to fight. I’ve never had cancer, though I have had some pre-malignant growths removed; but, again, unless things are extremely advanced (the ol’ ‘oops we screwed up and you have a week or two to live’ thing which does still happen), fight. I got up and walked away after being hit by lightning. Fight. I was born allergic to almost everything (thankfully not chocolate or meat, childhood was sucky enough as it was). Fight. Dying is easy, living is hard. Fight.

If you don’t want blood transfusions, say so. Years back, I really didn’t want them and volunteered for artificial blood on an experimental basis. These days, my take is that if a transfusion really is needed, do it. My preference is for fairly fresh blood from the youngest possible donors as such has been shown to have very positive effects including helping reverse some parts of aging. My inner voice still thinks I’m a teenager anyway, so as long as the young donor is indeed a volunteer, go for it. Fight.

Don’t want to be an organ donor? Make that known too. As I discussed here, between doctors wanting to re-define death so as to be able to harvest more organs (and the offspring of unwed parents who want to wage biological warfare against Citizens to make everyone quit eating red meat) and what happened during COVID with the CDC, NIH, and most health professionals trashing patient trust, I am no longer a donor. The only way I might consider such is if I am a living donor. However, it is likely a moot point given the lightning strike and the drugs I am now on that not only am I likely to be rejected, and I don’t think I can even donate blood or marrow. Thing is, make sure your thoughts are known so that people you don’t know decide for you.

You also need to think about heroic measures. A lot has changed over my lifetime. Early on, once heroic started many states wouldn’t let you turn it off. In most places, that has changed. Then again, the definition of heroic measures has changed as equipment and tech has changed just a bit. My thoughts right now are that if the heroic measures are temporary and designed to heal and get me to where I can function on my own, go for it. Fight. If there is no hope for recovery, and it is just keeping the husk alive, no. I believe that in that case my soul has departed my body, which is why it is dying. It is body and soul together that create a living temple in the image of God. If anyone is truly interested, sing out in the comments and I will explore this further.

I will admit that decades ago, I may have had a friend or two who were prepared to go into my room and blast the machinery of heroic intervention if I was on it and not allowed off of it (keep in mind, hospitals and such made a LOT of money off this practice at the time). They were then prepared to hold people at bay until I was gone. Then again, there were some friends prepared to give me the mercenaries last gift at need, which included if I turned against the country or became a threat to its Citizens. Which reminds me, I need to raise a glass again tonight as I think most or all have gone before me. Also, still need to raise a glass to L. Neil Smith and Irv Koch since I didn’t do it the other night. Absent companions.

Finally, keep pre-existing conditions in mind. For example, one of the things I am still (very tragically IMO) still allergic to is shrimp. Which really means Iodine. Guess what is used in imaging dyes, Israeli (clotting) bandages, and more? Make sure all known allergies are known to and discussed in your advanced directives. Be one heck of a thing to survive the disaster or accident and then kick off because of an oversight. Be thorough.

Also, do make a will. Otherwise those you want to get things won’t, and you will be amazed how much federal, state, and local (heck, maybe even the HOA) will siphon off before giving a token to your family. Post for another day though.

Having people know what you do and don’t want is very important. It pays to be thorough, and to have people you trust given the legal right to represent you if you are unable to stand for yourself. Take the time, and you can also find legal forms for this online for most states. If money is an issue, a number of legal aid groups will help you with forms for cheap or for free. Don’t take chances and don’t put your family (or friends) in a bind during an already bad and stressful situation. Make it as easy as possible for them, and for you ultimately.

Plan ahead, because preparedness always pays.

A Good Day

I caught a Lyft ride up to the Carmel farmer’s market this morning to get my chef’s knives sharpened. There is a professional knife sharpener (two actually most days) who can sharpen my good knives without voiding my warranty. They even give me the industry rate, which is good because it usually is seven or so knives.

Bacon on a stick, about a quarter inch thick or better

While I waited, I shopped as there are several vendors there I like. I did eat a bit as well, as seen with the deep-fried (I think) bacon-on-a-stick above. There’s a local charcuterie place that honestly is as good as some I’ve had in Europe; a farm that has amazing eggs and good meats; lots of other meat, veggie, and even mushroom vendors; lots of ethnic food; and even a local mead maker is there.

I tried to be good, but did come away with eggs, meat, a huge thing of fresh basil (plan to make pesto Monday or Tuesday for freezing), fresh garlic, local goat cheese, and a few other delights. I also had good coffee and enjoyed an arepa filled with shredded chicken and avocado (cold).

Sadly, was starting to overheat and dehydrate a bit so did not get back to a favorite: a Vietnamese lady who does Vietnamese egg rolls. She doesn’t seem to speak a lot of English, but that’s okay as she has help that handles that while she makes and fries some amazing traditional egg rolls.

A good way to spend a morning, and now most of my knives are ready for a “new year” of cooking. Want to find someone at the Church to tag-team with so I can do some chicken souvlakia, salad, and a blueberry moz dessert. If I can get a good recipe (and maybe some native guidance), hoping also to do some Pho this fall. I can do cooking on Friday and Saturday, but need someone to reheat and/or get things out on Sunday as I really can’t leave during the service to do that. Besides, if they have a car and can get me to Restaurant Depot or other, all the better.

Home now, dealing with package delivery issues (have one package lost in the purgatory-or-worse that is the new USPS center that is a black hole for mail, that needs to be a column). I did get my new driver’s license today, sans donor status. Now in my wallet. I’m also imbibing water and electrolytes, and enjoying the cool. I’ve been using LYTEshow electrolytes with biking and other activities, and really like them. No sugar or artificial sweeteners or flavors, just electrolytes. Tangy, but tastes pretty good and works.

More soon. Hope you all have a good weekend.

Change Of Plans

I had planned a different post for today, but what I thought was a trip to the dentist for a simple bridge wasn’t. Turns out, my dentist isn’t doing a simple bridge or implants, but two crowns and a bridge.

Instead of impressions and such today, we did impressions, grinding of teeth, temporary “skins” over the ground teeth, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a partridge in a pear tree wasn’t involved at some point in all the scans and such. Numbness is fading, but despite a flavorful drink while downtown there is still a bit of the taste of burnt tooth/teeth in my mouth.

Not too bad, but also not great as my first dentist was rather cruel and brutal (slapped a little girl neighbor of mine because she cried, amazed he lived), which makes me a touch skittish on dental work. My current dentist is anything but, nice lady, but still caught me very off guard. Only soft foods on one side of my mouth for about four weeks as the “skin” is not that strong. So, have some soft food and think bourbon may be the order of the day. More soon.