I know I haven’t been posting regularly, but life has been interesting, busy, and a few other things. Even with some of what has gone on, there is Joy in my heart — and pure exhaustion in my body. I really should take today off and rest, but also need to get all my seminary studies and assignments done today if possible. We will see.
Backing up a bit, I agreed to help cover a lot of things done by our Deacon while he was on vacation. While I can’t do anything at the Altar itself, these are mostly maintenance, various inspections, entry issues, AC issues, and related. That said, my service in the Sanctuary has expanded a bit and this last week saw some additional things added.
Life was busy, but not too bad until last Wednesday. For background, our priest received a grant to go on a three-month sabbatical to refresh, recharge, and re-invigorate. One of the stipulations of the grant is that he is not to be in touch with the church (except in emergencies as specified). Things were set up with that in mind, and it was anticipated that the time chosen should be quiet and calm.
Now, on top of this, our Deacon is on his annual vacation. Given that he is at the church every day and pretty much has to be pried out to go home, take care of himself, etc. via explosives and large pry-bars, it was and is very much needed. Especially as he is in his 70s (and while prayers for him are appreciated, would really appreciate lots of prayers for his wife who tries very hard to get him to take care of himself). Originally, the sabbatical and our Deacon’s vacation would not have overlapped, but the sabbatical had to shift as the wife of our Priest ended up giving birth about the time they were originally going to start.
Father P, who is part of the Romanian Orthodox Church, was blessed by our Bishop and his Bishop to fill in for the three months. Which were supposed to be quiet and calm. Yeah, that went about as well as you are probably thinking it did.
When our regular priest, Father J, is here, we usually do Wednesday night Vespers. Sometimes it may be an Akathist or a Moleben, but mostly Vespers. Which requires a Priest. Father J worked up a small Compline that could be done as a Reader service — meaning it can be done by a Deacon, Sub-Deacon, or Reader. In the Bulgarian Orthodox Church, Readers are tonsured by the Bishop to be Readers (and Altar Servers) and on any given Sunday we have more than one attending or taking part in the service. Not so much on weekdays.
As I do hope to be Tonsured as a Reader, our Deacon has been training me on a number of things. Since he would be out and unable to lead the service for three weeks (I really hope only two), he got Father P to Bless my doing the service though I am not (yet) Tonsured. I know how to do the service, though I am not (again, yet) fully trained on all the singing. I can do parts, but not all. So, I was instructed just to chant the parts I can’t sing. So, last Wednesday I got the Sanctuary ready for the service, was frantically trying to practice and be able to sing more of the service, etc. when I got word that things were changing.
There is not enough time this morning to tell you about the wonderful woman and Friend that was Ruth. The short version follows. I almost never saw her when she wasn’t smiling, and she could and would crack jokes even at the worst of times. She and her late husband were, for a while, park rangers who lived at remote state parks to manage and maintain them. Loved the outdoors. Loved animals. Was just full of Love and led a remarkable life of unshakeable Faith.
Despite problems in life. Despite health issues. Despite beating cancer more than once. Despite cancer returning one last time for the final time. I met her through Church at our church, and she quickly became a friend. We talked nutrition, nutrition and health, nutritionists, doctors, and life. We both loved animals and shared tales of wildlife and pets.
I almost hate to admit it, but I was a bit wary of accepting rides from her when I was not able to drive. Not because she was a bad driver; but, every trip with her turned into an adventure no matter your schedule. I found myself introduced to a 200 (?)-year-old oak tree; taken to a wine place for a flight (samples) and then to meet a Polish family who had been here for a year for his work and were getting ready to go back; and, well, you get the idea. All of it with a smile and a laugh, even when the cancer was getting the upper hand. She was one of the first people I met with when I got back from my Pilgrimage. We met for “breakfast” at a place near her owned by an Orthodox family, which turned into several hours and then a trip to her house as she was packing to move into a smaller place for her final days. Among other things she wanted me to have some of her cast iron cookware: she went ahead and gave her things to the people she wanted to get them before she died. So she could do so with that trademark smile and a laugh. She planned her demise as if it were her second wedding, for she saw death not as an end, but her being Wedded to Christ. Hold that though, bit dusty in here.
Back to last Wednesday. I’m nervous and trying to get as good as I could as fast as I could, when the word came. Ruth had needed to leave her small apartment near the church, and was in hospice. They were going to have to start giving her serious drugs for the pain, so before that she wanted to do confession, receive the Eucharist and Unction, and meet with people. So, I stopped what I was doing and helped Father P get ready for that. That even resulted in my being Blessed to enter the Altar area to help him find, get, etc. As with most of this last week, I was less a Go-Fer and more a Hold-Er, but did what I could to help. I very much would have loved to attend the event with Ruth, but was reminded that in Orthodoxy, services go on no matter what. Even if someone drops dead in the middle of things, you press on.
So, I stayed and did the service for the few people who showed up. Knowing them, I apologized for my bad singing and the need to chant, and we got the service done. Probably not bad for a first solo effort, but hope to get in more practice before tomorrow. We’ll see.
Not sure of the exact timeline here, but it seems like right after the service I was part of a group message from Father P, letting us know of an unplanned funeral Saturday morning and asking who was available to help. Seems I was the only one who could, so on top of working on the Vigil text for Saturday, classwork, etc., I had to go in and get the Sanctuary set-up for a funeral. It’s not difficult, but you do have to move things around and where some things go is up to the Priest. Did what I could, got things ready, met the funeral director when they brought the departed to the church, helped get the casket inside and in place, and got things as ready as I could for Father P.
Long story short, Father P and I did the service. I was the choir, and sang what I knew and chanted the rest. Father P Blessed me to continue acting as a Reader. Partway through, it hit me how much responsibility I had taken on spiritually and otherwise. Made me more determined to do right by the family and the departed, and to do right for Father P. At the end, the family was pleased with the service and such, and while Father P went to do the graveside portion, I not only re-arranged things for that night’s Vespers but also started re-arranging things for an infant Baptism the next morning. The infant is the daughter of two friends, and I was determined to have everything as close to perfect as I could for them.
Thankfully our Music Director was back that evening for Vespers. May have forgotten to mention that she was out of town for a week or two as well. I decided to get some rest rather than attend Vespers and Matins as everything was either done or covered. Good thing, as I had to be back at the church about 0515 the next morning as yet more needed to be done to get ready for the Baptism and regular services. Also, to be honest, I had found out during the day that Ruth had fallen asleep in the Lord before I could get down there.
I do want and need to share with you what I was told of her falling asleep. By the way, if you don’t know where that phrase comes from, find a good translation of the story of Lazarus and read it. Ruth had had a rough morning, and was sitting up to sleep. Those with her reported that her eyes suddenly opened, went wide, she lit up with that huge smile of hers as if she was recognizing and greeting someone, her eyes closed, and with that smile still on her face, she left this world.
So, Sunday was a long day. Back at church at 0515, got things ready and lit, did what I could to assist Father P — which honestly wasn’t much as he did the preparatory prayers early as you really need a Deacon for that. Then helped him get ready for the Baptism, shot photos for my friends during the Baptism, then went to the Kliros to be part of the choir (and help chant some of the prayers during the service). However, since the Altar side was short of people, I got asked to help out a bit during the Eucharist (by holding down the table with the wine and bread that is eaten immediately after the Eucharist) and then at the end by standing next to the Priest and holding the basket/tray of blessed bread given out at the end of the service as people venerate the Cross. So glad our Music Director has been making everyone train on doing the prayers before Eucharist and the post-Eucharist prayers that end the service. They did a beautiful job that I actually got to appreciate for once.
After our Coffee (meal following the service), I just stayed at church and got the Sanctuary ready for the Ruth’s Visitation and Panikhida service that evening. Once again, we were a bit short-handed so I helped out as best I could. Ruth was at the rear of the church for the visitation, and then moved forward towards the Altar for the Panikhida. Some re-arranging on the fly, but it all went well and it was a good service. Ruth literally looked like she was asleep, and more than once I talked to her and was almost surprised she didn’t wake up and talk back. We don’t believe in embalming, but the funeral home and director work with us a good bit and do an amazingly good job. Glad to highly recommend them if you are in the Indy area.
Ruth then lay in state overnight with Psalms being read over her by volunteers. I finally went home, fielded a couple of issues by phone, and then got some sleep. Back down early as, again, I wanted everything I could to be perfect for her. Ended up catching a couple of dropped balls, and we had a wonderful funeral service for her that was very well attended, especially as it was Labor Day. Then, we got her loaded into the hearse, and this time I joined Father P and played Go-Fer and Hold-Er for him. A lot of what I did was hold the Censer (and keep it fed with incense) and Cross for Father P. Once the graveside service was over, six of her relatives lowered her casket into the grave. Everyone had the opportunity to put a shovel-full or handful of dirt onto her casket, which is an Orthodox tradition.
As Father A put it (the priest of the church in who’s graveyard she was buried, being downtown our church does not have one), what came next is the last act of love we can give to those who have fallen asleep in the Lord. We filled in her grave, and I was glad to have the chance to help do that. Towards the end, her Brother called out “Right now, my sister would be asking if everyone had their car keys” and we all broke out laughing as yes, she would have and we could just hear her doing it. What made it even better was how many (far too late) reached down to check that their keys were indeed still in their pocket.
We said our goodbyes and left her freshly-mounded grave to go into the church and have a small bite to eat. We chatted a bit, smiled even more, and left at peace. We were a ways out in the country, and that just made the drive back all the better as we enjoyed the scenery. If I didn’t need to be close to my church (closer even), I really would prefer to be out and away. Have to admit, think both Father P and I were eyeballing houses for sale.
Coming on top of the loss of my friend Bill, it has been an interesting couple of weeks. I’ve got things covered for the three days I will be gone to attend his celebration of life. Thank you to everyone who has donated, and please do feel free to hit the tip jar as Vancouver is expensive. Anything raised over expenses goes to pay for my taking Seminary courses. I literally will fly out one day, attend the CoL the next day, then fly back early the next morning. Part of me is reluctant to be gone for those three days, given how short-handed we are, but Father P has admonished me to take the three days and to look after myself a bit.
So, that’s a bit of why I haven’t been posting as much as I would like. Oh, forgot to mention that seminary classes have started. In fact, one professor kicked things off a week early. Yay me. So, keep in mind that in addition to Vigil Texts and such during all this, I’ve also had classwork and assignments. Looking forward to learning as much as I can, but already have to juggle more than expected.
More soon.