Author: laughingwolf_qh33q8

After spending pretty much all day at Church yesterday, starting about 0745 and getting home about 0200 this morning, this is not going to be as long or as detailed as originally planned. That is probably the latest I have stayed up in more than a decade, much less after all the fun of the lightning strike and other health delights. I will say I had fun, and it was interesting to take part in various liturgical forms for the same service, and I learned a good bit as well. It also served to highlight how different apostles presented the same event in very different ways. That’s a discussion for another day.

I am also glad to report that today’s post has nothing to do with Yale or Buckley (1). That said, however, I need to make a note to myself that in later discussions of the Bible that I remember to give thanks that neither engineers or academics were involved with the original New Testament. Just ignore and roll with that one for now.

If there is a greater contrast between two parties in the universe, than between God and Man, I have yet to find it. Polar opposites is a good descriptor, and highlights the challenges of God explaining things to Man, and Man understanding (more often not understanding) what God is saying and intends.

While a number of theologians concentrate on the 12-15 characteristics of God, it is in my opinion best to focus on and understand the 3 prime attributes of God. Those attributes are the basis of trying to understand God and of the characteristics we have come to associate with God. They are also why we do not have a chance of truly understanding God without assistance. And, no, that assistance does not come from pharmaceuticals as there is no amount of mind expanding or mind altering drugs we can take that will let us truly grasp even a fraction of the mind of God. Trying such is a great way to burn out your brain and waste the gifts God has given you, at least in my opinion.

God exists out of time, as in before and after time as we understand it. Let’s look at the three key areas.

First, God is omnipotent. While that does indeed mean all powerful, it also means that God has the wisdom, judgement, and other characteristics that make him infallible. God does not, therefore, make mistakes. Which leads to God being almighty, because of this and because of what comes next.

Second, God is omniscient. God knows everything since he existed before time and will exist even after time (as we understand it) is gone. God sees all of time (and the before and after) as a single instant. Scripture tells us that God knew that a third of the Heavenly Host would revolt before they did so. God knows we are going to screw up, how we are going to screw up, and loves us anyway. Which is getting a little ahead of myself, but…

Finally, God is omnipresent. “No sparrow shall fall” is because God is present in everyone and everything in the known (and unknown to us) universe(s). There is nothing that happens anywhere (or any time) of which God is unaware.

Where we see probabilities for actions, God not only saw the probabilities but knew which would become reality (in this and even in other potential dimensions) before we even started to take actions. Keep in mind that while we deal (awkwardly and often unwisely) with this reality, God deals with this reality and quite probably more. Keep in mind that whole ‘known and unknown’ thing that pops up in scripture and life from time to time. Which, when you add in free will, makes for a complex situation that puts 3-D chess right out the airlock when it comes to complexity.

So, you have God who likely knows all and sees all across what we would consider multiple dimensions (though God may not see it as such, again a rather advanced discussion for another day). Then, you have us, mankind.

We are why most aliens lock their doors and speed up when passing by our cosmic neighborhood. God is a wondrous trinity of attributes (cough, cough, pay attention) while we know little and seem determined to get as many things wrong as possible. While the latter is a bit cynical of me, the former truly isn’t our fault. To explain why, I need to borrow from the late Kurt Vonnegut.

In one of his stories, I remember him describing humans as a figure who experiences life essentially bound on some sort of open rail car, the car only able to move in one direction while we can only look in one direction (off to the side?), and do so through a long tube that limits our field of view. Let’s face it, that’s not a bad descriptor of how we experience time (and space in a relative sense).

Our viewpoint is extremely limited, we have no real ability (other than some possibly limited bits of pre-cognition and related, again, a discussion for another day) to look ahead. As for looking behind, my own take is that we far too often fail to do so even when it would do us good. Those who fail to understand history are doomed to repeat it; and, those who seek to prevent the teaching of history are working as hard as they can to repeat it and not to the benefit of mankind.

Humanity also has an unmatched (as far as we know) ability to screw up. Much of that comes from taking the easy way on most everything. It reflects strongly in certain politics and political movements, where free and easy is the promise, along with the idea that no payment or work will ever be required to enjoy the largess. This despite rather clear evidence the world really doesn’t work that way…

While jumping ahead a bit, it is worth noting that the Old Testament can be condensed as follows. God: Do these things as I command and life will be good. Mankind: Yes, we will do that. Ooops. We didn’t, we got what we deserved. Please give us another chance. God: Okay, here’s a new covenant, do these things as I command, and life will be good. Mankind: Yes, we will do that. Ooops. We didn’t, we got what we deserved. Please give us another chance. God, possibly tempted to sigh: Okay, here’s a new covenant, do these things as I command, and life will be good. Mankind… For the record, that’s also an accurate summation of me and sin. There is the best of intentions, but the flesh (esp. my brain) is weak.

So, back on track (pun intended). We, mankind, really haven’t got a shot at understanding more than a very limited fraction of the mind of God. We simply are not wired to understand such in this form. Outside this form is an interesting discussion, but again one for another day. The fact is, however, we really don’t need to fully understand the mind of God in order to understand what God wants us to do.

Whether it is from the Burning Bush, the words of the prophets, or the parables of Jesus, the basics are there. Now, particularly in the latter, there is room for growth as it were. Keep in mind the ‘spoke and thought as a child’ bit as it applies to our understanding of God and his word.

For example, I’ve read some ‘learned’ (cough) discussion that God evolved in the Old Testament. After all, God went from a vengeful and emotional creature to the God we know today. This skips a couple of important points in my opinion.

First, in the earliest forms, Judaic belief held that God in Genesis was a first among equals (a concept that comes up again in scripture I believe, and most assuredly in Church politics). Judaism, however, went from from somewhat polytheistic to monotheistic far more rapidly and far earlier than almost any other belief system in the world.

Second, as it did so it was not God that evolved, but our understanding of God. Where we had tried to place a human face and understanding on something that is far from Human, as Mankind evolved our understanding grew as well. This mirrors our understanding of the parables of Jesus, where what we get out of some of them has indeed involved over the years (‘So that’s what it really meant!). That’s one of the beautiful things about parables, is that it is possible to see and understand more (look at this from over here!) as we learn and grow. Not only do I think God has a sense of humor, but I also think he’s efficient in such things, yet another point we may get into later.

What we do need to consider is that our understanding is limited. There are far too many out there who seek to place limits on God, which is something we have been told flat out not to do. For all that such can be amusing, it is also incredibly sad to see people proclaim that God has to do what they want because he has to operate on the basis of how they think God should operate. Such is often linked to extremely legalistic thinking on theology. My personal take is that the more legalistic you get on theology, the greater the chance you are, er, messing up by the numbers.

Indeed, today’s post brings up one of the greatest hopes for the individuals of mankind. I think I’ve been told this before, but a wise priest shared with myself and others that no good, reputable priest (or preacher) will tell you definitively where the soul of a recently departed has gone. They may have strong suspicions (I got the impression that this was particularly true to those who were not so good in life, and likely to go down as it were) but even if likely to go up one didn’t make that declaration. One reason is that for the former is that God is a being who transcends time, and we have no clue if in the final nano-seconds of a person’s life that God did not intervene to give that person a chance. After all, what is a nano-second to us can be an eternity to God. God’s love and mercy are infinite, so we do not know what God might do, especially given that our understanding is both limited and to some extent likely flawed. Just look at the number of times God has given mankind another chance in the Old Testament. Who is to say that such might not extend to an individual level? As for those going up, we may think that but we don’t know all and the only people known for sure (as far as we know) in heaven are the Saints and Martyrs.

Some food for thought as we explore the holes in my memories and I try to work some things out for decisions and more to come.

1. One of the unexpected (and IMO unearned in some ways) honors in my life was to be an invited guest to WeaponsCon I many years back. WeaponsCon was the response by the late (and missed) Irv Koch to a number of science fiction conventions to banning weapons. At WeaponsCon one had to be armed at all times. It was the safest and most polite convention I think I’ve ever attended. The Guest of Honor was the late (and much, very much, missed) L. Neil Smith. My being put on a similar level to him is what I considered unearned. That said, we got along great and it was a true pleasure to meet him and get to spend some time talking on any number of subjects. To this day I love his description of William Buckley (as character Buckley Williams I think in The Probability Broach) rolling his eyes like a dying horse as both accurate and a bit of sheer comic genius. His entire take was so spot on…

The Series Of Posts:

Exploring Faith, Christianity, and Theology

Some Thoughts On God, And Man

Some Additional Background Memories

In no way do I fancy myself to be a Lewis, Sheen, or Tolkien, and I start what I hope will be a series of posts not as an apologist (a term that still bothers me a bit). Rather, I start this to try to explore some of the holes in my memory and make sure I’m not missing any important points. Also, I will be making some decisions over the next few months and want to explore thoughts and theology to help ensure I make reasoned and informed decisions.

If, in the process, my explorations prove helpful to others in exploring and articulating their own faith, all the better. If it helps bring someone to Faith, even better. By sharing, I hope that my words may do good beyond the mundane.

To start this series of explorations, I need to establish who I am and how I came to be where I am today. This provides you (and me) with the background to evaluate and understand where I come from, where I hope to go, the points I make, and to spot the gaps as it were. It also strikes me as a better forum than the cesspit that is social media.

My father was raised Southern Baptist, though he later joined the Southern Methodist Church after marrying my mother. I remember attending “Homecoming” at Mt. Zion church each year, mostly quite fondly. This was a time where those who grew up in that church, families, and friends all came back together to to socialize and share. Everyone brought food, and that food was quite good.

I recall at least a couple of the preachers there at that country church. I recall, not clearly, one who was of the hellfire and damnation cadre who preached a sermon telling those present that if they did not return to the church they would burn, burn, burn. I have the feeling that he heard, possibly strongly, that such wasn’t a good idea for Homecoming and that the next year if he was still there he was on better behavior. I remember one who reminded me very much of “Shaking Sammy” in the book MASH. Seem to recall being admonished for mentioning such to my parents, though I also seem to recall my Dad agreeing with me after he read my copy of the book. The last preacher I recall was an older gentleman who was quite good at his job and cared deeply not just for his congregation but others in that community as well.

I also very much believe my Dad when he remarked that they lost as many people as they gained, courtesy of the baptism. They did a full immersion baptism, and the pool (cement pond) was spring fed. Ice cold spring fed. Seems that when let back up from under the cold, cold water some people uttered less than respectful phrases, resulting in them being brought into the church and kicked out immediately. Yeah, it might be hyperbole, but having felt the water I can believe it.

My mother was raised in the Southern Methodist church, and was quite proud that our direct ancestor (my x-great grandfather) was Bishop Pierce who was credited with truly putting the Southern Methodist church on the map as it were. Indeed, the portraits of the good Bishop and his wife (who preferred to be called Miss Nancy instead of her real name), hung on the wall of our living room for many, many years.

Those portraits were eerie to me as a child, and I got a strong feeling of disapproval whenever I snuck into the living room as a small child. The room was off limits to me as a toddler and even when older. Miss Nancy seemed very disapproving. When I was older, I found it to be a matter of amusement and vindication when our beagle would sneak in (it was off limits to him too) and end up in apparent argument with Miss Nancy. No joke, he would be in rolling on the rug, look up at her portrait, and bark at it. Often, he would get up on the sofa, put his front paws on the bottom of the portrait frame, and appear to go back and forth with Miss Nancy. I’m actually rather glad that those portraits, along with the reproductions that replaced them until my mother’s death, were donated to the Methodist museum at Epworth By The Sea. Yes, there is a point to sharing that. Another day.

In many ways, my mom pushed religion hard, while Dad preferred a more refined approach. Laid back is NOT the right word for how he did things, but subtle gets into it. Dad was the type who would let you fall, bang yourself up a bit, and then pick you up and set you going again so that you learned from your mistakes. To be quite fair, he would usually warn you that you were about to bust yourself, and if you persisted… Good life lessons and I am the richer for that as wrapping people of any age in cotton and not letting them do is not doing them (or anyone else) any favors.

The church I grew up in has been around for more than 175 years now. It has long sponsored the Boy Scout troop in which I earned my Eagle and the God and Country award. As an aside, I am not happy with what Scouting has become, to the point that I promote another organization. As for me, I’m glad I came along so I could be an old-way Eagle, and the God and Country award was both an exploration of Faith as well as of comparative religion.

Looking back, I begin to suspect I may have been a trial to some of my pastors. I remember Rev. Fredrick Wilson, a nice man though not a theological powerhouse. I ended up confounding him by asking if dogs and other pets went to heaven (possibly related to the loss of a pet rabbit, memories are jumbled) when still quite young. It hit him cold, and I still find it interesting he didn’t have a position on such worked out, as surely I was not the first to ask such a question? I’m not sure if I hit him or Reverend Key with a thought on the Miracle of Transubstantiation. The Methodist Church, at least at that time, did not believe in the Miracle, instead believing that it only became the body and blood of Christ on a spiritual level. I think I was six or so when I innocently asked that if it did become the body and blood, why not have everyone partake, then spit out the literal flesh and blood, assemble them, and bring about Christ’s return on the spot? I have some very jumbled and fuzzy memories of what may have been a couple more doozies.

Years ago, someone put together an Art Linkletter-style book on mishearings by children in church. Yes, I think I did hear ‘parakeet’ when the term “Paraclete” first came up, like many others. I did think one of the choral responses used the phrase ‘and or-e-o’ at one point. One I didn’t do, but still appreciate, is the child in the book who heard “Father, Son, and Holy Goat.” BTW, if you are old enough to remember Art Linkletter and his show, good on you. If you are not, you should check it out.

I think I was in the seventh grade when the “Born Again” craze/movement hit. My parents were patient, mostly, with me and pointed out they had already been baptized and given themselves to Christ, and did not need to do so again. No direct reference to one baptism for the forgiveness of sins, but a strong implication. The youth ministers of the day pushed it, and a couple of years later I found myself visiting the historic house taken over by the youth movement (sorta hippie freaks from what I remember). It was there that I got introduced to C.S. Lewis, the Chronicles of Narnia, and The Screwtape Letters. I don’t think my mom (who tried to keep me from listening to Rock and a number of other things) was thrilled, and she found ways to keep me from ever going back to that ministry.

For me, I was taken by the writing, and use of language, by C.S. Lewis. I know I read the Perilandra trilogy, though I have no memories of the books. I just remember fragments of The Screwtape Letters. Strangely enough, I don’t think I got into Tolkien until around my junior year. Again, the language and use of same caught my attention, and I truly came to appreciate the power of language (and linguistics and the etymology of words and language). The corruption of language is also a pathway to the corruption of populations and the world, and as such I recommend reading this article that cites Lewis and more even as it gives warning.

I was still quite naive and callow at the time, and I recall bristling at the title “Mere Christianity” as I regarded Christianity as anything but mere. I also still cringe a bit at the term apologist, as given modern usage the original meaning is not well known. Again, my take was that Christianity needed no apology. Thankfully, both led to an increase in knowledge and an awareness of how words were changing — for good or ill.

Around my junior year, I left the Methodist church. We had gotten a pastor that while I loathe the term in many respects, sky pilot seems an apt designation even unto this day. He wanted to turn my church into a mega-church and himself into a noted tele-evangelist. A number of people quit leadership roles in the church over what he was doing and how, including my Dad. For me, the break came when he told my mom that he would not visit her mother, my grandmother, who was dying in a nursing home as she had no money to leave the church. I’m not joking when I say I am still amazed she did not literally kill him on the spot. When I asked her about that, she said she was so stunned she could not move or speak at first. Mom and Dad seriously considered leaving the church over this. Then the stubborn in both came out, it was their church not his, and they dug in until he was finally gone.

For me, I was going to school with the children of an Episcopal priest and had already been spending time at that church as they did midnight Christmas services and other such things I enjoyed. I had a talk with him, had him actually somewhat agree with a point of theology I lifted from Heinlein (true sin is harming another; harming yourself isn’t a sin, just stupid — no don’t agree with this today though it can be a good basis for detecting/determining sin), and joined the Episcopal church. Sadly, the priest ended up leaving the church several years later, but that is a tale for another day. Once in college and beyond, I came to find less satisfaction from the church and what seemed to be a changing doctrine as woke came into play.

So, I wandered for a bit. Work had me traveling, so as I did I attended a number of different services. Mary Stewart’s book The Crystal Cave had a profound impact on me when I was in the sixth or seventh grade (think sixth), as she had her young Merlin do much the same as he traveled. As the series progressed, I will note it did a good job of putting Christianity into a good light.

While in Japan, while not truly interested in it, I was invited to attend a Shinto Buddhist ceremony while staying at a monastery. Quick aside: if you go to Japan, forget Western-style hotels and stay at ryokans, which are traditional Japanese-style inns. Some of the best of them are the Buddhist monasteries. When checking in, I was told that if I happened to hear the bell the next morning, I was welcome to attend and observe. The next morning, I awoke vibrating about a foot off the mat. Seems the bell was about ten feet in diameter and rung with a tree trunk that would make a passing fair battering ram. Collecting myself, I went down and quickly determined a couple of things.

First, the ceremony sounded as if they were chanting ‘and I said and he said and she said and they said and you said and they said…’ along with the occasional spinning of a cylinder in a wall of cylinders apparently with prayers on them. I watched, listened, and never did pick up a real pattern to it. Second, I will note that Japan can be a very friendly country, but it also is incredibly bigoted (Japanese language, physiology, etc. is superior to all other on Earth). Apparently, there is a competition between the males attending as to who can sit seiza the longest. Turns out I have a bit more competitive streak than I realized, esp. when one of the other males present has made it clear that the gajin should not be there. Having learned to sit seiza for martial arts, I stayed in it for about five minutes longer than he did, and may have smiled at him… No surprise, I mouthed off to a Yakuza bouncer while in Japan. Thankfully, he didn’t understand American and thought I was saying thank you very much as I bowed. If I get killed, good odds it will be because I was a smartass at the wrong time to the wrong person. Keep in mind, I really did walk through the gates of the Kremlin whistling the theme from Patton. If I die of natural causes, it will be an amazing surprise.

I also attended the Hindu wedding of a friend, and found it fascinating. There was a lot of things done to emphasize two becoming one, with a strong implication that the one was stronger than the sum of the parts. While I don’t think it would be a good addition to traditional vows, I do think it could and should be used in pre-marriage counseling. I did have to turn down offers of an arranged marriage for me, but appreciated the thought. I also got a good laugh as the brother of the groom took me around the temple and explained all the different deities. When we got to Krishna, he very dryly pointed out that despite what Americans seemed to think, Krishna wasn’t that big a deal. (Oh now Krishna he must laugh on, to see me in my saffron!)

I’ll skip some of the wanderings and investigations (already confessed), and note that as I traveled in Europe, I began to more and more visit Catholic churches, from cathedrals to small churches. I am so glad I got to attend (though not participate) in a service at Notre Dame, and wish I could have attended more of services at both Mont-Saint-Michel and Sacre Coeur. I took it as a good sign that I did not burst into flames as I walked beneath the lintels, and that Holy Water did not sizzle when it hit my skin. Long story short, I ended up joining the Catholic Church in a traditional parish that did the Latin Mass every Sunday. They actually did three different masses on Sunday, and the one I attended most often was the sung mass.

I did attempt to start the process of discernment for becoming a priest. It did not get too far, as I was told I was too old to become one in this diocese, but was free to move to another diocese that might have different rules. Truth be told, I am now very glad that cup passed from me in the Catholic church. I am not sure I could be the priest I would want to be, nor that under current leadership I would be allowed to be the priest I would need to be. As for the future, what comes will come. I should also note that over the years various things have happened that have caused me to brush up against that which divides life and death. Those brushes and certain glimpses have had an impact on me and reaffirmed my faith. I may or may not ever discuss them, but they are a factor I need to keep in mind.

Since moving several years ago, I’ve been looking for a new church home. For all that I keep my Faith in my heart, I am a lapsed Catholic but not a lapsed Christian. Even in the years of wandering, I never lost my faith in Christ though I came close to losing my way a time or two. Again and again, God guided me so I did not lose my way. I see God’s hand, and a miracle, in that I am alive after being struck by lightning. I believe there is something I am supposed to do, but remain clueless as to exactly what that may be. Yes, I have actually suggested in prayer that given how dense I can be, it might be helpful to drop a sign in front of me telling me exactly what I am to do… As with almost every human, I am a sinner, but by Grace and Mercy keep trying to do and be better.

Next week, my plan is to either start discussing the nature of God and our understanding of him, or what is Christianity. I’m leaning towards the nature of God as that truly sets the foundation for all other discussions. That said, I will go where guided on this.

I wish I could remember Reverend Key’s full name, as he was a good pastor and theologian of the Methodist church. I can’t remember the name of the pastor who caused me to leave the Methodist church, which is a shame as I really do need to pray for him. I remember flashes of people, but for all that is missing there I seem to remember the truly important things, with the most important part being my Faith.

The Series Of Posts:

Exploring Faith, Christianity, and Theology

Some Thoughts On God, And Man

Some Additional Background Memories