The Myth Of Abused Becoming Abusers

I mentioned briefly yesterday the myth of those who are abused in childhood becoming abusers themselves. This myth was particularly vicious towards those who were sexually abused.

If you go and research current literature, the original study on this topic was — to be polite — seriously flawed. When more rigorous studies were undertaken, the myth was rather thoroughly discredited.

Today, it is generally accepted that — particularly for males — there is only about a ten percent rate of those sexually abused becoming abusers themselves. There are some studies that show that victims of other types of abuse (physical, mental) may have about a thirty percent rate of becoming abusers.

That said, the sexual or other abuse is not the prime indicator. The other factors that seem to matter more are: the sexual or other abuse being done by a female; maternal neglect; exposure to serious/extreme violence on a regular basis; and, lack of support.

This is a topic I promised someone I would cover, and am glad to do it. Frankly, the myth of those sexually abused — particularly males — becoming abusers has done extreme damage. It has adversely impacted reporting as well as getting help to cope with the abuse. It continues to create prejudice that has and can hound people (male and female) out of social organizations, churches, and even employment. The ignorant bigotry of this myth continues to hamper helping those who need it, as well as research on the topic.

With all the coverage of Epstein, this has come out even from people who should (or do) know better. Along with the mis-labelling of Epstein, rather than focusing on helping victims of pedophiles and ephebophiles, a good bit of the coverage and commentary is focused on sensationalism and poor information. That can cause problems for those who are victims of sexual abuse. As noted before, however, I don’t expect accuracy or precision out of the media or pundit classes.

I will probably create a page for citations related to this and other sexual abuse information, but for now here is a brief start on links and citations pertaining to this myth.

Outcome following child sexual abuse

Myth of the abused becoming abusers

Myths and facts about male sexual abuse and assault

Development of sexually abusive behavior in sexually victimized males

There is more to come. In today’s politicized environment, I am concerned that solid research on the topic of sexual abuse/other abuse (especially as it pertains to males) will become impossible. Why? I attended last year an event where the field leaders of a major non-profit involved with helping victims of domestic violence, abuse, etc. talked. Those field leaders made very clear that women were always victims, women never lied about rape or abuse, women never committed such crimes unless forced to by a male, and even males who were victims were perpetrators.

This is a mindset that is rather entrenched in social services (which is heavy SJW to start). It is why I would recommend strongly that any male who is a victim of sexual abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, or other abuse be extremely careful about using public organizations or services. My recommendation is to find a good therapist, as they can help you navigate services to avoid such bigotry.

Also, if you are a victim of childhood abuse — sexual or otherwise — I will recommend finding a local chapter of Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse. It is a good organization that provides self-help meetings around the country. While it is heavily formalized, there are good reasons for that. If you are in Indianapolis, however, and male, I can’t recommend the local group as it is hosted by the organization referenced above. Until another group is started that is not associated with that particular non-profit, there’s not a lot of help for male victims in Indianapolis.

This is a personal topic for me. I’ve known many male and female survivors of childhood and adult abuse. Talking with the victims of childhood abuse, particularly given the intense coverage of Epstein, is an interesting experience. If you are a victim or current or past abuse, please do reach out and get help. You are not alone.

Disclaimers

The federally mandated disclaimer (required because I am an Amazon Affiliate) is now in place, along with my formerly annual general disclaimer. I’ve also copied over some credits and other info and have it over on the sidebar just below the tip jar and updated Amazon Wish List link. If you like what I do, or want me to do more of it, hit the tip jar or the wish list. Meantime, to be sure I’ve hit all the bureaucratic check boxes “As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.” Maybe some day I will earn enough from it to get paid…

He’s Not My Cat

I, however, am his Designated Emergency Human and according to Cappie (short for Capt. Neurotic, my name for him) a permanent state of emergency has been declared. He cries at my door some nights, begging for me to let him in. Usually, he’s waiting for me when I get up. If I get up other than at my normal time, he comes running, which you see here. If it hadn’t been for the light, you would see this odd little thing he does as he turns the corner.

Grrrrr. Not letting me post the movie, will work on it and update later.

Getting Back

Yes, I am working on getting back to writing regular posts here. I’m also focusing on getting back in other areas of life.

About five years ago, I was given a mistaken diagnosis of cancer. While I thought it was wrong from the start, I upended my life to deal with it. I stepped down from Mission: VALOR, and stepped away from a number of other things. I thought having a procedure done that proved by biopsy that I did not have cancer was the end of it. However, I just spend the last six or so weeks having to re-prove I did not have cancer because a doctor who diagnosed me by looking at me put it into a major (local at least) medical system that I had cancer.

Add in a botched colonoscopy that resulted in an ER visit, the administration of epi, and a few days in the hospital (and cost me a job), along with some other things that happened, and it’s been quite a time. I’m told that God does not give us more than we can handle, and for all I do believe that I also get the impression that God thinks I’m a bigger badass than I think I am.

Now, I have another challenge that I will be blogging about some each week. I’ve had chronic pain for a few decades now, which is not the issue save that by the time this issue was something I noticed, a lot of damage was done.

A few years back I was diagnosed with “just” osteoarthritis. Just. Well, it has done a number so that three weeks ago it was recommended that I have an immediate replacement of what is left (not a lot) of my right shoulder joint, and that I will probably (according to the surgeon) need the left done soon too. Oh, and a piece of bone that broke off in my right shoulder joint is now trying to work it’s way down into my chest.

I consider a total joint replacement using current tech to be a less-than-optimal solution. In fact, I think it a very bad idea for reasons I will lay out soon.

Instead, I am conducting an experiment on myself to see what can be done with supplements, despite the fact that the best of them work on only about thirty percent of the population and many of the more specialized supplements appear to work on less than ten percent. Again, more to come on this as part is on what can be done for the shoulders and the rest is to see if we can slow, halt, or reverse some of what is going on elsewhere.

I’m also working to see if I can get into some clinical trials involving regenerative medicine; and, if that fails, clinical trials for advanced bone replacement materials. I will share more as I can, as well as trying to get back to commentary on space, national defense, and other issues.

Your patience is appreciated, as is the readership of the couple of you who still show up here.

July 4, 2019

In Congress, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, —That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.—Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Goodbye Facebook

Pulled the plug this morning and deactivated my FB account. Zuckerberg and those behind FB are antithetical to the concepts of the Enlightenment and the foundations of our Republic. When I HAD to provide a reason for my actions, I summarized by simply stating that they were scum and I refused to support them anymore. Yes, it will hurt on some levels, including marketing when I am writing again. Worth it though to be rid of having them sell me and my information, misuse my information, and otherwise supporting people that I do consider to be scum. Onwards.